Patient care on woman or man ?

[serge09]

hello everyone. I just what to know, have anyone been turn down by a patient because of his gender? If so, how was it handle? As a male, soon to be CNA, i was just wondering.

thanks.

[nursemike, ASN, RN]

5- my secret wepon: on patients i know are not happy being cared for by a man, and i have not been able to talk it through with them. i simply become less manly, i let them think that I'm gay (but for god sake don't tell them that), I'm naturally very feminen which makes this a lot easier and only a very small change. but you'll be amaised how many pt's would be happy to have a gay man look after them then a straight one, and sometimes, even over the women. (if in doing this i have offended anyone from the G and L community, i am very, very sorry. this is not my intention at all, my goal in the best possible pt care and i have found this to be an effective way of doing this. once again, if i have offended, i am deeply sorry).

David

I'm not trying to be argumentative, here, but in a strange way, I both agree and disagree with this point. As the poster states, it wouldn't be ethical to say one was gay if one wasn't (i.e., to lie). Nor, I think, would either of us say it was necessary to announce one's sexuality. I suppose if a patient, out of their own prejudices, assumes I'm gay, there's no particular reason to correct them. Generally, if anyone asks about my orientation (which rarely happens) I answer truthfully, not because it's any of their business, but more because I don't particularly mind them knowing.

One could take the poster's remark about becoming "less manly" to mean behaving as though one were gay without actually saying so, and I would disagree with that. I think an implied deception would be as unethical as an overt one. But I also feel safe in assuming the poster did not mean to say that gay men are inferior in their manhood to straight men. I think, by "manly" he means to refer to a vague set of stereotypically masculine behaviors, and in that sense, I would agree with dialing those back a little, even with patients who have no problem with being cared for by a straight male. There are moments in nursing where it is necessary to be decisive, assertive--even bold, but a nurse should not be overbearing. An example of this might be therapeutic listening, where the goal is not to advise the patient how to solve his or her problem, but rather, to allow and encourage them to express their own thoughts and feelings. Such an almost passive role in conversation may not feel entirely natural to some men, but it can be the most appropriate role in many situations, and if that means tapping into our more "feminine" sides, that's what we need to do. Similarly, in dealing with a combative patient, it's crucial not to rise to their perceived challenge and thereby escalate the confrontation. The "soft words" that "turneth away wrath," may not seem especially virile and studly, but they keep the patient safe, and that's the point of the exercise.

So, yes, I agree with the poster that emphasizing patience, caring, and compassion go a long way toward making modest females--and pretty much every other patient--more comfortable. But one should never feel required, or, for that matter, tempted, to pretend to be someone other than ourselves.