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Partner doesn't like that I'm a nurse

Nurses   (488 Views | 8 Replies)
by Ecclesng89 Ecclesng89 (New) New Pre-Student

108 Profile Views; 6 Posts

I'm wondering if anyone else has had this issue and my be able to give advice. I'm nearing the end of my nursing education. My partner is a hypochondriac and especially with this COVID outbreak he says I'm selfish to volunteer at local hospitals and that I'm putting him and his son at risk. But I think regardless of a COVID outbreak, I'll always be around potentially infectious patients so, it makes me nervous about the potential our relationship has if he is going to be so upset when I'm around sick patients. I actually cancelled volunteering for now even though I don't want to. Does anyone have experience with this and were you able to make the relationship last?

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Jedrnurse has 25 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in school nurse.

1,620 Posts; 14,714 Profile Views

He won't change and the issue won't go away. Get out while the getting is good...

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umbdude has 3 years experience as a MSN, RN and specializes in Psych/Mental Health.

2 Followers; 1,024 Posts; 14,666 Profile Views

COVID is a bit different than "typical" infectious diseases we normally see. It's new with many many unknowns. He has legitimate reason to be concerned for his own safety and for his son.

If you choose to volunteer, it's best to maintain your distance from him and honor his concerns and validate his fears.

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6 Posts; 108 Profile Views

13 minutes ago, umbdude said:

COVID is a bit different than "typical" infectious diseases we normally see. It's new with many many unknowns. He has legitimate reason to be concerned for his own safety and for his son.

If you choose to volunteer, it's best to maintain your distance from him and honor his concerns and validate his fears.

Thats totally fair. Thank you for your insight, I really appreciate it.

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AnonymousSuper has 8 years experience and specializes in Supervisor.

1 Follower; 1 Article; 40 Posts; 518 Profile Views

On 3/29/2020 at 5:36 PM, Jedrnurse said:

He won't change and the issue won't go away. Get out while the getting is good...

This. Time to move on. You need a partner that accepts and adapts to you. They must accept the harsh reality that your job is dangerous and inadvertently increases their risk.

I know they are out there. My wife and I are both nurses. We both "get it."

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ruby_jane has 10 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.

5 Followers; 2,831 Posts; 11,845 Profile Views

So...it's not going to get any better. We always bring germs home. When I was an ICU nurse I used to strip at the garage door and dump my scrubs in the wash immediately. Even Mr. Ruby Jane, who has an admin position now, routinely washes his scrubs separately. Do your best. But realize if it's not COVID-19 it will likely be something else.

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Emergent has 25 years experience.

8 Followers; 2 Articles; 3,080 Posts; 68,066 Profile Views

Dump him..

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JBudd has 39 years experience as a MSN and specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

2 Followers; 1 Article; 3,764 Posts; 35,968 Profile Views

My knee jerk reaction is, yeah get rid of him.

But why are you with him to begin with? Is he super supportive in the rest of your life? Does he love you so deeply that your happiness is more important to him than anything else (except for his son of course)? Does he meet your emotional needs, and you his? Can you imagine having a good life without him?

Yes, I agree with staying home during the corona virus, from your volunteering; we're all staying home. But in the long run, are you going to be supported through the rough times you'll have as a nurse? If not, then I wouldn't plan a life with him. How has he dealt with nursing school?

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BSNbeDONE has 34 years experience as a ASN, BSN, LPN, RN and specializes in Med/Surg, LTACH, LTC, Home Health.

2,381 Posts; 24,902 Profile Views

Did you recently meet him? Why is the thought of your being a nurse such a problem to him now? Does he not understand that there is no need to pay a nurse to care for a person who is not sick?

My ex-husband developed his problem with my career path once he realized my paycheck was going to be larger than his. He literally told me to go get a job working at the local Family Dollar. A joke, right? To show how serious he was, he divorced me 3 days before I was set to graduate. So I went on to graduate, pass the NCLEX, and got to keep the family dollars right inside my wallet.

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