Parent Pick-Up of Sick Kiddo

[SchoolNurseK]

How long do you give parents to pick-up their sick kiddo? I am going on one hour with a student with terrible diarrhea. I've called Mom and Dad. Mom said she would be an hour and a half. No. Dad told me 40 minutes. No.

[CommunityRNBSN, BSN, RN]

7 minutes ago, Flare said:

I know that I wholeheartedly respect the plight of the working parent. I generally ask students when I call home who the better parent to call is. Maybe it's hard to get dad because he's a teacher. Maybe mom is a dentist who won't be answering their phone while they are seeing a patient. I totally understand that people can not always drop what they are doing to pick up their children immediately after a sick call... but the times that I get annoyed are:

1. no answer. There are 5 phone numbers available for 2 parents and I can't reach anyone. Then I go down the list and call the "emergency people" who don't answer either. Even better when the student tells me "He/ she doesn't pick up calls from the school number."

2. Unable to leave a message. "This number has a mailbox that isn't set up." This phrase earns a huge eye roll. And then i start to wonder HOW i'd get ahold of someone if this was a true EMS worthy emergency (this concern falls under "no answer" as well)

3. Grossly underestimating the time. If you tell me it's going to take an hour, that's fine. We have a plan, if the student is too sick to wait in class, they can get some work and wait here or can close their eyes for a bit. If you tell me 15 minutes and it takes you an hour and a half, I reserve the right to get annoyed. If you tell me 15 min and then hit a snag - just call me. It will help with the endless asking of "when is my mom getting here?"

I don't send home that easily. My goal is to keep the student in school. All I ask is a little cooperation and communication when I do call.

Everything you’ve said is eminently reasonable!

[lifelearningrn, BSN, RN]

On 2/22/2020 at 5:39 PM, MunoRN said:

I'm naïve to the world of school nursing, so forgive me, but is it actually a general expectation that parents always be able to pick up their kids in a relatively short amount of time? That seems unrealistic, and I guess I'm not really sure then of what the purpose is of having a nurse at the school.

My wife is a teacher, and I'm pretty sure a large proportion of the parents at her school don't have the ability to just up and leave their job, if they did there's a very real chance they'll just get fired as a result since FMLA doesn't cover many if not most of the illnesses that would cause a child to need to miss school.

The role of parent doesn't pause from 0730-1500. Sick children belong at HOME, not at school. Nurses aren't in schools to take care of children with acute, contagious illnesses so their parents can work undisturbed.

A child with a high fever needs to be picked up as soon as possible. Sometimes parents are an hour away, and that is fine. But there are times where 3 hours later, and fever still rising and the child suffering, and the parent is no where to be found.

[MrNurse(x2), ADN]

On 2/21/2020 at 11:12 PM, Godsgirl73 said:

This is such a conundrum, isn't it? I can see both sides.
As a nurse, and also as a parent of a child with an autoimmune condition, I really feel that parents a) shouldn't be sending their sick kids to school, and b) should pick them up in a timely manner if they become ill while at school.

However, as nurse who works in a practice where there is often only one medical professional present - me - I completely understand that sometimes a parent simply can't pick their child up within what many would likely consider a reasonable time frame. I rarely get a chance to check my phone during the workday, so more often than not when I finally realize I've gotten the dreaded sick call, half an hour or even an hour has passed between when my phone received the call and when I actually noticed the message. I will always call the school as soon as I'm aware of it. But I can't just send patients away without seeing them, especially since I work in a specialist's office that has a very lengthy wait list. So sometimes my child just has to wait until I can either finish seeing all of my patients, or I'm lucky enough to be able to reschedule some of them.

Sometimes my husband can pick up the kids, but if he can't, we don't have anyone else to spell us off. I cringe when this happens. We don't have a school nurse, so when a child at the school is sick, they are placed in the "sick room" and a staff member will check on them periodically. It inconveniences everyone, and puts the child at risk. It's definitely not the best situation to put anyone in.

I suspect there isn't an easy answer to this. Certainly there isn't a one-size-fits-all answer. But I can appreciate the frustration this must cause you!!!

I don't want to come off as judgmental, but I have to ask, how can you continue to function without knowing there is a backup for emergencies? My wife and I have no family local, yet we have four people we can reach out to should we need them to pick up our boys, if necessary, and we work nights. A school nurse's office is a crummy place to spend a day when you feel wretched. We don't call you because they have a sniffle, we call when it appears they are actively sick and by that time, they really don't feel good. I realize my wife and I are the minority when it comes to our children, but our careers come second to their security, which you threaten by abandoning them at a school for hours. I work at a private, I see so many dual income families who are unreachable during the day, my term is rich parents, poor kids. It is your responsibility as a parent to be able to get your children picked up in a timely manner in all but the most dire of circumstances. I have witnessed the erosion of trust in a parent that children have who have to wait hours for pickup, with a few asking if their parent even cares about them, from elementary to middle school age. I suggest you make some friends with SAHM so this doesn't happen to you. Sorry if this makes you feel guilty, but this is the reality of so many children today and it really is harming our next generation.

[SchoolNurse91, BSN, RN]

I have a lot of parents who do not answer the phone. I have a lot of parents that have disconnected phones. I have parents who cannot get off of work.

I work in a very low income area. Most of the working parents have jobs that are not accommodating. They either miss pay for the day or they get fired. It's easy to say "have a back up." I'm a single mom. I have no back ups. My parents both work. I don't have any other family here. Luckily, I work in the same district my son is in. I try to be as understanding as possible. All I ask is that you communicate and don't abuse my kindness.

[MrNurse(x2), ADN]

7 minutes ago, SchoolNurse91 said:

I have a lot of parents who do not answer the phone. I have a lot of parents that have disconnected phones. I have parents who cannot get off of work.

I work in a very low income area. Most of the working parents have jobs that are not accommodating. They either miss pay for the day or they get fired. It's easy to say "have a back up." I'm a single mom. I have no back ups. My parents both work. I don't have any other family here. Luckily, I work in the same district my son is in. I try to be as understanding as possible. All I ask is that you communicate and don't abuse my kindness.

... and I agree that the lower income families are the exception to my statement, most are single parents working low wage jobs that barely allow you to call out sick, I get that. My experience with professional parents is my world view, and in my world, what I said is accurate.

[SchoolNurse91, BSN, RN]

1 minute ago, MrNurse(x2) said:

... and I agree that the lower income families are the exception to my statement, most are single parents working low wage jobs that barely allow you to call out sick, I get that. My experience with professional parents is my world view, and in my world, what I said is accurate.

98% of our students qualify for free/reduced meals. I wonder how different it would be working in a more affluent area. I love my kiddos, though ?

[MrNurse(x2), ADN]

1 minute ago, SchoolNurse91 said:

98% of our students qualify for free/reduced meals. I wonder how different it would be working in a more affluent area. I love my kiddos, though ?

Affluence is a double edged sword. I am treated as a servant a lot. Our students used to have older parents, we are now post depression and the young affluents are coming in and owning the place. Would love to see students thrive in a school where they can rise above their circumstances as opposed to watching kids flounder under selfish parenting. This is my last year and I am thankful. Love the kids, the parents, not so much.

[SchoolNurse91, BSN, RN]

4 minutes ago, MrNurse(x2) said:

Affluence is a double edged sword. I am treated as a servant a lot. Our students used to have older parents, we are now post depression and the young affluents are coming in and owning the place. Would love to see students thrive in a school where they can rise above their circumstances as opposed to watching kids flounder under selfish parenting. This is my last year and I am thankful. Love the kids, the parents, not so much.

My biggest issue working in a low-income area is not being able to reach parents. I would say 80% of the time I call, the number is disconnected. If they do answers, they have no way to get to the school. Getting doctor's notes, medication etc can be extremely difficult.

I can see how working with more affluent families brings another set of challenges. I've seen teachers leave to work in "better" districts. A lot come back because they feel like they're making a big difference in these students' lives.

[Flare, ASN, BSN]

4 hours ago, lifelearningrn said:

The role of parent doesn't pause from 0730-1500. Sick children belong at HOME, not at school. Nurses aren't in schools to take care of children with acute, contagious illnesses so their parents can work undisturbed.

A child with a high fever needs to be picked up as soon as possible. Sometimes parents are an hour away, and that is fine. But there are times where 3 hours later, and fever still rising and the child suffering, and the parent is no where to be found.

also wanted to point out that I am not allowed to give tylenol, mortin, ect to help reduce a fever. I need written orders. No standing orders here for those. So when a kiddo is cooking away and waiting 90 min +, there isn't much i can do other than monitor, push them to drink, and encourage them to sleep.

[Godsgirl73, MSN, NP]

On 2/24/2020 at 9:52 AM, MrNurse(x2) said:

I don't want to come off as judgmental, but I have to ask, how can you continue to function without knowing there is a backup for emergencies? My wife and I have no family local, yet we have four people we can reach out to should we need them to pick up our boys, if necessary, and we work nights. A school nurse's office is a crummy place to spend a day when you feel wretched. We don't call you because they have a sniffle, we call when it appears they are actively sick and by that time, they really don't feel good. I realize my wife and I are the minority when it comes to our children, but our careers come second to their security, which you threaten by abandoning them at a school for hours. I work at a private, I see so many dual income families who are unreachable during the day, my term is rich parents, poor kids. It is your responsibility as a parent to be able to get your children picked up in a timely manner in all but the most dire of circumstances. I have witnessed the erosion of trust in a parent that children have who have to wait hours for pickup, with a few asking if their parent even cares about them, from elementary to middle school age. I suggest you make some friends with SAHM so this doesn't happen to you. Sorry if this makes you feel guilty, but this is the reality of so many children today and it really is harming our next generation.

Hmm. To be clear, you are coming off as judgmental without question!

To the comment “rich parents, poor kids”, I’ll just say that working PT, less than 12 hours/week in my non-union position certainly doesn’t afford my family any affluence. I took my current position, knowing that I would be paid very poorly, because I love the job! It enables me to have enough hours to keep my license while also affording me the ability to volunteer at my kids’ school, look after friends’ kids on my days off, and (gasp) be involved in my kids’ and husband’s lives.

My career very definitely comes second to my kids’ security, which is not by any means “threatened by abandonment.” If you’d read any of my other posts, you’d know that I WILLINGLY gave up both my RN and NP licenses to stay home and care for my children and only recently returned to the workforce once they were in school full time. I’m paying dearly to reinstate my career as a NP, taking night classes so as to be present for my kids and husband. And you know what? I’d give up my licenses all over again for my kids! My current boss know that if my daughter relapses, I won’t be coming to work. His motto and mine are “Family comes first.”

The clinic I work in is part of a larger clinical building. There are 3 full family practices in the building, in addition to the specialist’s office in which I work. The ambulance station is just outside my door and the hospital is a 2-minute drive down the road. So exactly why you wouldn’t work there without a backup is beyond me! It’s a specialist office. We don’t deal with emergencies... But the one time we had someone in the office who was having an MI, I was there to initiate oxygen, call for EMS, etc. I guess I should have enlightened everyone on this forum that I work for a surgeon. When I’m not at the clinic, he is. He’s likely far less prepared to deal with emergencies than I am, due to my extensive ER and remote nursing background!

My kids have never had to wait all day for me or my husband to pick them up when sick. Have they had to wait an hour? Yes. Because we both have jobs, and need to wrap things up in a professional manner before leaving work. Do we have a few friends on our call list? Of course we do because we’re not negligent! But as one previous person wrote, our back up people aren’t sitting idly by waiting for the once every 6-8 month phone call to pick up my children when they’re sick.

How dare you make such assumptions about a person you haven’t ever met! I do hope you don’t speak as harshly or disrespectfully to your patients as you have to me! You know nothing about my life and your judgmental, holier-than-thou comments have no place on a public forum. Nurses are typically known for empathy and compassion. I would encourage you to start developing those skills.

[MrNurse(x2), ADN]

8 hours ago, Godsgirl73 said:

Hmm. To be clear, you are coming off as judgmental without question!

To the comment “rich parents, poor kids”, I’ll just say that working PT, less than 12 hours/week in my non-union position certainly doesn’t afford my family any affluence. I took my current position, knowing that I would be paid very poorly, because I love the job! It enables me to have enough hours to keep my license while also affording me the ability to volunteer at my kids’ school, look after friends’ kids on my days off, and (gasp) be involved in my kids’ and husband’s lives.

My career very definitely comes second to my kids’ security, which is not by any means “threatened by abandonment.” If you’d read any of my other posts, you’d know that I WILLINGLY gave up both my RN and NP licenses to stay home and care for my children and only recently returned to the workforce once they were in school full time. I’m paying dearly to reinstate my career as a NP, taking night classes so as to be present for my kids and husband. And you know what? I’d give up my licenses all over again for my kids! My current boss know that if my daughter relapses, I won’t be coming to work. His motto and mine are “Family comes first.”

The clinic I work in is part of a larger clinical building. There are 3 full family practices in the building, in addition to the specialist’s office in which I work. The ambulance station is just outside my door and the hospital is a 2-minute drive down the road. So exactly why you wouldn’t work there without a backup is beyond me! It’s a specialist office. We don’t deal with emergencies... But the one time we had someone in the office who was having an MI, I was there to initiate oxygen, call for EMS, etc. I guess I should have enlightened everyone on this forum that I work for a surgeon. When I’m not at the clinic, he is. He’s likely far less prepared to deal with emergencies than I am, due to my extensive ER and remote nursing background!

My kids have never had to wait all day for me or my husband to pick them up when sick. Have they had to wait an hour? Yes. Because we both have jobs, and need to wrap things up in a professional manner before leaving work. Do we have a few friends on our call list? Of course we do because we’re not negligent! But as one previous person wrote, our back up people aren’t sitting idly by waiting for the once every 6-8 month phone call to pick up my children when they’re sick.

How dare you make such assumptions about a person you haven’t ever met! I do hope you don’t speak as harshly or disrespectfully to your patients as you have to me! You know nothing about my life and your judgmental, holier-than-thou comments have no place on a public forum. Nurses are typically known for empathy and compassion. I would encourage you to start developing those skills.

My statement was a generality to your post, which stated that both you and your husband have periods where you are unavailable, sometimes for hours. You're right, I don't know you, I made an assumption by your words, it's all you gave.

[BeckyESRN]

My school is pretty economically diverse. Lots of very low income students and lots of very high income students. I have no problem keeping a sick kiddo in my clinic for hours because a parent cannot leave work or has no transportation or has that perfect storm of circumstances where the backup to the backup plan falls through; it's fine, I'll do what I can under those circumstances. I've had parents tell me that they were in the check out line with all their groceries and I tell them to check out and put the groceries away before picking up unless it's really urgent.

My frustration is with parents that 1.) don't/won't answer 2.) have several non-functioning numbers 3.) tell me that they be here in 20mins but take 2 hours, and 4.) medicate their child's 103 temperature and tell them not to come to the nurse until after 11 because they refuse miss hot yoga and thus expose the entire school to the flu for their convenience(this has happened 3 times, 3 different students). I see the most umm...liberties being take by the upper parents as opposed to the lower; the latter are generally very apologetic when they can't be here in a timely manner.

I've had one situation where every backup plan fell through all at once, perfect storm type situation. Husband was working, in-laws were on vacation(which meant all 4 extra adults were gone), family friend was supporting a parent during surgery, my parents were both down with the flu...all at once. My own kid had to sleep in the clinic with me until I could care for my students here and safely go home for the day; stuff happens. I get it, just be reachable and be honest.