Overcoming for Mario

[mario_ragucci]

Hello Everybody! And I mean all the allnurses.com people here. Nursing, I found out well, is hard for potential nurses who are making the transition from civilian to nurse. I missed this board very much while I was away. You may remember me. I was so excited to get accepted to a 2 year community college nursing school, and then was failed in clinicals during my second semester, and there was no warning it was coming. Being failed for the clinical portion was under the control of a single nursing instructor. It feels good to say hello to everyone who may remember me because I learn so much from allnurses.com.

Well, the reasons sited for me failing this particular clinical assignment was that I didn't turn in a component of my paperwork due each week, and that I gave po med (percocet) without the instructor being there while I gave the med. (Percocet is a narc) Even though I was told to go ahead and give it by the nurses there on the unit, and even though I had given the same med to the same PT the day before with the instructor there, it cost me dearly.

I was/am working 24 hours a week during nursing school as a floor CNA (Med Spec) and was doing it, but when I was dropped from nursing school, it was so hard to tell everyone where I work what happened when they would all ask, "How is school going?" I just received my one year evaluation from the hospital I work as a CNA at and it was excellent. I love what I do (caring for people) and it shows through in all I do.

I was dropped during Feb, 03, and was told i could come back next year. I wrote a great letter to the nursing dean explaining my true and steadfast intentions of becoming a nurse. I didn't leave the school on a bad note, and always kept my cool and composure, even though I felt the instructor was particularly hard on me, and I didn't deserve to be dropped like that. So, for the last two months, i have been living with the fact that I have to wait another year to become an RN, and this is just a bump, and something that has happened to others, and I will go with it and be the model student next year.

Now the school has informed me that they will not be taking back any returning students because of the great influx of new nursing students. This is really hard for me to take, knowing how much I want to be a nurse and start helping people as a nurse, then having that process be shut down because of a single instructor. Now I am all the way back to square one, and it's very hard to accept. Has anyone tried to get a seat in a nursing program lately? Forget about it! The ones in my area are all so full...waiting lists...panic.

So here I sit...with all my prereqs complete with a 3.0 avg and I have been in school full time over the last 2 years to get all my prereqs complete...then got accepted to RN program last year...got clinicals in my second semester at a rough place for a second semester student (post surg)...had an instructor didn't help me...then failed me...school tells me i can come back next year...then 2 months later says there will be no room because of the shortage...ahhhhh. My CNA job...where I work with med/surg PT's >32 hours a week is the greatest place to work. The nurses there are very professional and tell me they know I'll be an excellent nurse based on what they see.

I can't stand thinking of myself as dead in the water, but thats what I am. I have all the potential to become an excellent nurse and all the prereq knowledge to enter a 2 year RN program...and I have no seat. It has eaten at me every day in a big way, and for all the folks who don't think I know what depression can mean....I have had one heck of a case of the blues. But i have not sunk, and I still want to get into another school for the 2 years to give me a seat at the NCLEX so I can start doing my best by providing the best nursing care.

So now I have to start getting myself into reality and climb ALL THE WAY back to start. It's so tough to get into a good school today. And now i am having to start completely all over again, after all I have been through.

I'm not looking for any sympathy. If anyone knows of a school accepting students for Fall for or Winter, I'd like to know.

What makes it hard for me is to see other students get the training and help needed to become a nurse, and then to remember what happened to me.

If there is a school somewhere in the US that would take an ambitious and caring student, I'd like to know. This is not easy for me friends. My intentions are all positive, and I am ready, willing and able to train to be a RN, but the shortage is in quality nursing schools, with quality instructors, with quality learning programs, and not in potential quality nurses. Thank you.

[Zinnia]

Mario. You were slammed,but don't give up. I think the 'teacher' has a power complex.. You want it ,get it.

[Zinnia]

yeah,all of a sudden,nursing schools are swamped. hmmmmmm,go figure.

But who is in it for the money or for the work?

Nursing is hard work,you earn what you get..and make a difference at the same time.

[susanmary]

Originally posted by Zinnia

Mario. You were slammed,but don't give up. I think the 'teacher' has a power complex.. You want it ,get it.

Mario was not slammed by a teacher with a "power complex." He flunked out of nursing school for repeatedly not meeting paperwork deadlines, giving a narcotic to a patient without the instructor's supervision, and perhaps many other things. Over the past several months, there have probably been around 200 posts regarding this -- and it's still the same old story.

[Furball]

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

People with narcissistic personality have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, are absorbed by fantasies of unlimited success, and seek constant attention. The narcissistic personality is oversensitive to failure and often complains of multiple somatic symptoms.

Prone to extreme mood swings between self-admiration and insecurity, these people tend to exploit interpersonal relationships.

.

[moonshadeau, ADN, BSN, MSN, RN, APN, NP, CNS]

Mario, you have been given a lot of good advice.

Can we please keep the comments constructive. If a member has nothing constructive to say, PLEASE PASS ALONG.

[Kayzee]

Nice post Furball. Mario....please take some time to think about what you want to do the rest of your life. If nursing is the end thought, then try, try again. You have to work hard to succeed. Wishing you the best in the future.

[ANnot4me]

Mario, I have read many of your posts. I don't know you and I won't pretend to know you. I won't diagnose you, tell you what your problem is or how you have it better than me and that you should be grateful you aren't me. What I will say is that I have made mistakes. I would venture to guess that nearly every nurse on this board has made mistakes more serious than not handing in a careplan or passing a narc unsupervised. I am sure that some of them never even acknowledged it. If I had a nickle for every nurse I know that is an alcoholic, drug addict, liar, co-dependant, racist, homophobic, sexist, psych case or just plain miserable and nasty, I would be a rich man.

When taking advice, you have to consider the source. In the case of this bulletin board, the source is unknown. Remember that. Keep in mind that nurses are people and have no special value -- we are all equally human. I have made tons of mistakes and learned from them. Some were easier than others and some were more costly than others. Sometimes the price I paid was fair and sometimes the judge and/or jury was corrupt: be it by ignorance, greed, power, or personality or psychiatric disorder.

Good luck to you Mario!

[yannadey, LPN]

So you failed Mario get over it whats done is done now you move on & learn from your mistakes. Stop whining & feeling sorry for yourself you want to be a nurse that bad apply to another school & another thing good luck to you and your quest into the world of nursing it will not be easy, as you have already learned.

[Agnus]

Welcome back. If you want this you can achieve it. Just don't give up. Giving up will be the true test about how much you want this.

Perhaps I may(?) be able to shed some light on what is being said here. Saying I admit I made a mistake but I was treaded unfairly is not the same as taking responsibility.

Yes, the consequences were harsh. Life is harsh. Not following instructions and doing what you are supposed to in nursing can have very harsh consequences for a patient. You were lucky the consequence was to you alone and not to a patient. The nature of your errors did not endanger your patient and another time you could make an error that does endanger or harm another. Waiting until this happens is not the time to initiate with harsh consequences.

It is time to say I messed up. My behavior caused me to flunk out. I had control over whether I would turn in all my work on time and I had control over whether I would ask the instructor if I could give the narc with the primary nurse or if I needed an instructor with me. And I chose not to. The reasons you made the choice are not important. The reasons do not change the fact that you did as you did. The facts stand as you did not do the work, you gave the med without the instructor and no amount of explaining will change that. Accepting responsibility means quietly taking the consequence no matter what that consequence is. We do not get to choose the consequence of any of our actions (good or bad). You did not flunk because your teacher was mean, didn't like you, etc. You flunked because of your actions. When you can accept this without thinking of the whys and the unfairness then you will have gotten it. and and grown.

I think in time you will be able to admit it at least to yourself and then learn in admitting it to yourself that it is futile to explain to others. Now if you are looking for another school you can find listings of other schools and even school catalogues at your school's guidance office. Get to work in finding the school that will work for you. Kisses

[mario_ragucci]

Wow chigap, thanks, you shine.

It seems there are many water walkers who assume never having made a mistake. I read on this board where nurses seem like human. Some are saying we should shoot to kill all students for an interpreted error. Shoot to kill, as in zap them ass soon as a single mistake or deadline is met. I don't think nurses are Terminators. Making errors are, of course, serious events. But who can say they are following exact proceedure 100%?

Thats okay because I am happy to talk about behaviors, and by golly I do admit to not being perfect as a nursing student. Thank you for this wisdom and I am still going to join the ranks of you great people, all. No worries, please. :-)

[alwaysthere]

Nursing is deadlines...

Things have to be done at certain times...or another human being could be harmed.

Nursing is taking responsiblilty for ones own actions because we are also responsible for our patients.

If you are really serious about this (and I know you are) you will change the things (or the behaviors/thoughts) in your life that lead you to making these mistakes.

What were the things that lead to you not turning in your papers??

Why did you listen to anyone but your instructor?

How could you have handled both of these situations better?

And what will you do if confronted with similar situations in the future?

If things get to hectic will you quit your job? If so how will you support yourself? et cetera...

I would suggest that you think about this and have things well planned before you interveiw with another school. The key here is to recognize you do have problem areas and YOU failed...none failed you... you failed yourself..but you can target your problem areas by being aware of them and arrest the devolpment of the problem before it becomes something major...

Another thing to help keep you on track might be to see a counselor or have someone to keep you acountable and on track and to talk to if you get overwhelmed...

but learn the lessons that your instructors are trying to teach.

You have to be timely...you have to take responsiblity for your own actions before you can take responsiblity for another..

You have to follow orders ....there are higher degrees of learning than yours and you dont know everything.

This post may sound a little hard...so is life.

But I say these things out of care for you because as you said you need to get back into reality...WHen you fall you get up again and learn how to walk better.

[SmilingBluEyes]

ARGH why do I try? I am outa here with this:

Mario, if you think nursing school is tough, buddy wait til you are an RN. I wish you nothing but good things, but you are gonna have to make some of those "good things" happen yourself. Over and OUT.