Out of the mouth of Octogenarians

Nurses Humor

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The patient was a pleasantly confused but still mostly appropriate 87 year old lady, who needed to get to the commode before breakfast. I gave her a good wash up down below, set her up for breakfast, then finished her morning wash after.

Handing her a cloth, I say, "I've already washed your bottom bits, so just wash up your front."

Patient, mishearing me, replies, "Sodomy?"

I laugh and tell her no, we aren't that type of establishment.

She laughs and says, "Good, because I haven't done that in a long time!"

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Specializes in Reproductive & Public Health.

hahahahaha! omg.

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oh chile lol

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Specializes in ED, ICU, MS/MT, PCU, CM, House Sup, Frontline mgr.

Wow! :)

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Specializes in ICU.

That's funny. I had a resident in his 80's a couple of weeks ago who was refusing his shower earlier in the day. So they sent me down to see if I could get him to get one. He smiles at me and says no. He then tells me about why he is in the facility. He tells me he is not so good in the head anymore. Then he points to the rest of his body and says from my neck on down though, I am as good as a 19 year old and starts laughing. I said that's great, wish I was still as good as a 19 year old!!! We both had a good laugh over it, but he still refused his shower!! ;)

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Specializes in Emergency Department; Neonatal ICU.

I was working in evening when a very demented elderly woman came in to the ED from a nursing home for altered mental status. I was getting her settled with the male tech and she looked at both of us with an evil glare and said, "You think no one saw the two of you making out in the church but we ALL saw you." I would love to know that back story.

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As I'm inserting a foley into an 80ish guy he says "You remind me of my granddaughter!"

What the...?

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Specializes in Emergency Department; Neonatal ICU.
As I'm inserting a foley into an 80ish guy he says "You remind me of my granddaughter!"

What the...?

:eek:

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I was going over the standard set of admission questions with a hard-of-hearing elderly patient when she responded, having misheard me, "DID I USED TO BE A STRIPPER??"

Without a pause, I just said, "no ma'am, your extracurricular activities are none of my business." She laughed and we moved on with the actual question. Later, as I was leaving the room, I asked if she needed anything and she said "no, but I'm not that thing you said earlier," and winked at me.

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