Recently, I had plans to have a BBQ at my house with several of my ex-coworkers. I suggested the idea to my wife before my employment arrangement changed abruptly and she seem copacetic. Later, my ignorance and inability to comprehend doublespeak was revealed.
Several days before the BBQ my wife become very anxious and irritated when she found out everyone coming was female. This was purely by happenstance. All spouses or significant others were invited but none could attend due to work responsibilities or plans.
Reminding my wife that I'm a middle aged adult male, working in a significantly female dominated world did little to therapeutically defuse the situation. Putting out the fire with gasoline was the effect achieved. She stated, that it's inappropriate and disrespectful to host other females in our home, who I no longer have a working relationship with.
I told her it would provide a bit of closure and continuity for everyone. Direct patient care is like navigating a psycho-physio war zone of emotional chasms and insurmountable summits. No one goes it alone. I wanted to do something nice for my fellow coworkers and aides. To show my appreciation and to recognize the help and solid care they provided. She was not appeased and enlisted the support of her in condemning my actions.
I respect my wife's feelings, 25 years at this would have ended it long ago if it were otherwise. But I have no intention of catering to illogical fear and irrational gender bias. If the situation was reversed, my mindset would not change.
Is this some type of unspoken and overstepped Opposite Sex Coworker Social Boundary infringement I missed?
