Open mouth; Insert foot

amydayre · Aug 31, 2009

Why don't you go to her, explain the way you feel, that you like your job and your concerns are just that, open, honest concerns and when you go in, take a couple of suggestions to help with the problems? If she is really interested in making the floor a better place, she will listen.

chihuahuaman · Aug 31, 2009

Moral of the story: don't go to brown bag lunches! :eek: I'm just starting 2nd year of nursing school but I'm waaaaaayyy too old to want to get caught up in the politics once I start working in a hospital. Your story just makes me tense right up!

I'm sorry to hear about your predicament, KalipsoRed. Hopefully your nursing director will start to act like a professional and talk to you directly instead of using email to discuss what seems to be a hot topic to her.

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Aug 31, 2009

Ever heard of the "Whack-a-Mole" game? It's this carnival game where you get a mallet, and the moles pop their little heads up through the holes, and you're supposed to whack them. If you whack enough of them, you get a prize.

Well, you're the mole, and you stuck your head up one too many times, and are getting whacked.

Straydandelion · Aug 31, 2009

Ever heard of the "Whack-a-Mole" game?

The trick for the mole is to only stick the head up occasionally then duck, not to keep it up to be hit continuously. Sort of like parents do "pick the best fights and leave the small ones alone".

Apparently someone in your meeting misunderstood your information and brought that back to your boss. I would just go and talk to her explaining what you said exactly and even invite her to the next meeting....then let things cool down a little. There is nothing you can do to change some issues, possibly things to change others. As far as daytime help, if you could at least get a tech, US for those times that would help. Ask your boss to possibly be able to pull someone from another area for a few hours? Just some ideas to compromise may help.

pumpkinpatchquilter · Aug 31, 2009

Moral of the story: don't go to brown bag lunches! I'm just starting 2nd year of nursing school but I'm waaaaaayyy too old to want to get caught up in the politics once I start working in a hospital. Your story just makes me tense right up!
I'm sorry to hear about your predicament, KalipsoRed. Hopefully your nursing director will start to act like a professional and talk to you directly instead of using email to discuss what seems to be a hot topic to her.

Amen! I'll tell ya what, I think everyone has spoken their mind and regretted it instantly...or soon after. I am a pre-nursing student but I can attest that this kind of workplace politics happens everywhere.

My suggestion, for what it's worth, if anything, is if you want to keep your job, let it go. Do what you can to salvage your relationship with your Director because to advance or move on to another facility you'll need to be in good standing with this person, and think about things from their perspective. To them, you may look like a new nurse with a bit of a chip on your shoulder who thinks they can run the place better than them. If you were in a position of authority, how would you take your actions? It is VERY difficult to keep things impersonal, it's just not human nature. The workplace, professional or not, is very much a social environment where people work together for a common goal. From your DON's perspective, your talking to other employees and going above her head may look like a personal attack. Understand that there are going to be these types of situations no matter where you work, and the best way to stay out of all the mess is to choose very carefully when and who to speak your mind to. I would say you were appropriate to bring up concerns at this lunch if that was what the purpose of the lunch was, but I would leave it there, in the meeting, and let the VP take it from that point. Just because you don't see change immediately doesn't mean it's not going to happen. Often times these issues are tied up in red tape, and it can take a very long time to resolve them.

The damage has been done at this point, but a face to face sincere conversation can make a world of difference. Just because this person used email doesn't mean you should retaliate with another email...that just adds fuel to the fire. Have a private meeting with this person, explain you are a newer nurse with a lot of passion and enthusiasm, and you didn't mean to step on any toes, you just thought you were helping by trying to get some issues resolved. Ask your DON what she thinks you can do to make things better. Work with her instead of what will be seen as against her, and you will have a better chance of making a positive impact. Remember to give those with seniority to you the respect they have worked very hard to earn, because they will treat you better in the long haul for it. Some day you may be in their shoes, and think carefully how you would want your employees to treat a situation like this.

Good luck to you!

meluhn · Aug 31, 2009

Why don't you go to her, explain the way you feel, that you like your job and your concerns are just that, open, honest concerns and when you go in, take a couple of suggestions to help with the problems? If she is really interested in making the floor a better place, she will listen.

Unfortunately, I dont think this will work, she obviously does not care about the OPs concerns. She is obviously not interested in making the floor a better place or they would find it in the budget to hire some CNAs and a unit secretary. This meeting was an empty gesture made to make it look like admin cares. To the OP, leave well enough alone and either find another job or deal with it--the way things are. Getting into a confrontation with the DON will not solve anything.

southernbeegirl, BSN, RN · Aug 31, 2009

i hope you've learned a big lesson. stay out of company politics!

and while you thought it was a good thing to be asked to the lunch, you probably alienated your coworkers by "interviewing" them for issues.

trust me on this...coworkers never want anything good to happen to each other. when one person is singled out like this they will be jealous. even if it is not even a big deal, they will make it one. and by you telling everyone about it...you best believe behind your back you are the talk of the facility. thats just the way it is.

next time, keep it to yourself.

another thing..although they asked for your opinions..thats where you should have left it with them. give your opinions and let it go. it is their job to take it from there. by you "following up" like you did...it sends a message to the DON that you think she isnt doing her job right and you could do it better.

whether thats what you meant or not...it's all about perception. it doesnt matter what you SAY, its what the other person HEARS.

diane227, LPN, RN · Aug 31, 2009

You got caught in the trap. This is the lip service trap. This happens when staff are unhappy and someone at the top of the food chain in the big house (administration) tells them to fix it. So this vice president person meets with the nurses and she takes a lot of notes. This is lip service part 1. She then sends the notes back to the directors or nurse managers to fix what ever the problem (s) is. The director or nurse manager goes into lip service exercise part 2 where she essentially does the same thing. Placate the staff and get them to shut up is the goal of lip service part 2. Now, then you have a few staff members who believe that management is sincere and they actually expect that their management team WILL do what they say. So when it does not happen and you try to hold their feet to the fire, you get labeled the trouble maker. These kinds of managers are looking for employees that act like robots. Just do what you are told and keep your mouth shut. They do not want to deal with you. Having to deal with you and fixing problems means that they will have to DO SOME WORK and they don't want to because it is too hard.

Now, I have been in this situation more than once. As a young nurse, I had to bite my tongue and just walk away because I had no back up and no one to champion my cause. But as I got older and moved up the food chain myself, I always felt that being an advocate for the staff was more important than anything because if you have happy staff then you have happy patients. Now that does not mean that their are not rules or standards, it just means that we work as a team, we have high standards and we stick to them. All the rules applied to everyone and the staff knew that I had their back. So as you might imagine I had a few run-in's with people in the "big house" to the point to where they actually should have fired me. But I had a very high profile position and I knew everyone in the media (this was in Houston). I also knew where all the bodies were buried. So it would have been a big mistake to let me go.

As a staff nurse, unless you have someone to go to bat for you or as a group you can go together as a group to get what you want, you will just have to sit back and try to work around what you don't like. And that is easier to do if you work an off shift like 3-11 or 11-7. When your in conflict with management and you are there on the shift when they are there, it just makes for a tense situation.

Please don't put yourself in a position to be the spokesperson for the group because that is a set up. I guarantee you that if you do and the manager sits down with them to ask them specific questions they will flat deny that they ever asked you to speak on their behalf. The best thing to do is lay low, do your job and just hope that either you get a new manager or you find a job that you like better.

pacerbird · Aug 31, 2009

Sorry KalipsoRed but I am not surprised at the response of the management with the clipboard mentality. Nursing has a bad habit of eating its young. I have 30+ years in the profession and it never changes. You might want to make this a win win by meeting with her face to face and telling her you are sorry that the wrong impression was expressed to her but like her you only want to raise the level of excellence that nurses produce in your institution while keeping the staff from getting burned out. Ask for her suggestions on how you can both make this happen. If your ideas become her suggestions everyone benefits. Turn your and the other staff's suggestions into questions. Unless the director is a complete idiot that should at least help, if not I would start looking for a place that values your initiative. Good luck!!

sasha2lady · Aug 31, 2009

Hmm...she sounds alot like my boss....they come to us and ask us for our input, suggestions, opinions etc...then we give them and 1. nothing gets done 2. we get ridiculed and have a huge target put on our heads for what we say in our meetings to the DON and ADMINISTRATOR. Our meetings are mandatory but oh so pointless. NOTHING ever changes. Nothing gets addressed. We had one last month and the topic of our aides came up...aides have gotten to where they more or less try to run the place. When we write them up nothing gets done. When we report a no call no show...they still have a job and end up usually getting scheduled for more shifts just to not show up on. When we brought up the fact that things were falling through the cracks due to their budget cuts we were told "its business". We brought up how we are constantly out of meds both thru the pharmacy and OTC's, run out of briefs, dont have enough washcloths and towels, the paperwork constantly changes without any notification, we dont get notified of and new admits or discharges that are coming...and we complained about us nurses constantly being without any backup from the DON when we need it. They have perfected the art of telling us what they think we want to hear vs what we must hear. I personally go by results that I see. I dont take the bosses words on anything and I dont believe them when they tell me they are going to work on anything til I see that end result. The politics of nursing in general is the worst part of the nursing spectrum to me. I had a nurse tell me several years ago that my biggest problem was that I actually gave a D*** & that eventually it would catch up to me. She was right. If you are in a place where you can transfer somewhere else or find a new place all together...that might be worth looking into as things are probably not going to get any better...and dont go to any more of those lunches. :)

ohmeowzer RN, RN · Aug 31, 2009

i just don't go to those things ... bad news... i think you should just go talk to your mananger and clear the air... then let it go... don't keep adding fuel to the fire... i have been asked to go to those things and i just don't go.. they send someone else.. i just try to keep under the radar.. do my job and keep my yap shut... which is very hard for me....