I need advice from you guys. I am working as a charge nurse/supervisor in a LTC facility. The dilemma is that I am the only African American Nurse on staff. I have had several staff members volunteer to me that they are not prejudiced because a black family moved into their neighborhood when they were teenagers or that they went to school with a black person, and they turned out to be really nice people. When I make a comment about something that happens there is one particular staff member (my peer) that will say "You know that happened because your black" and laugh. They have made this comment around a room full of people at times, and it is embarrassing. The other issue is that they are taking things that I say and reporting to my other peers that I was angry when I wasn't, and include comments that I may have made but attach it to the fact that I was supposedly angry to change the message. I recently was confronted about being angry about something that was passed on to me, when in reality I was speaking to one of the only nurses that I could talk to and the conversation was about, how I could present help to someone with the knowledge that I have to help them understand a skill that they are unfamiliar with. I am a very friendly outgoing person, but I have been keeping to myself to avoid the drama, yet I still get put into the drama. I need this job to pay bills, and I am looking for another job. I need ideas and some options, I don't want to make my family suffer financially: yet this environment is making me nervous. I don't say anything negative about anyone, and I don't add to the gossip; especially since I know my comments will be distorted. I recently just finished school and I need money to pay for expenses related to that. Any advice guys?
ICURN7, That is exactly the situation that I am encountering. I have had them team up and relay an innocent observation about a patient and turn it into a negative comment involving a peer and their interaction with a patient. This person became pissed and confronted me. The sad thing is that I have had many conversations with this person, laughed and joked with them, and I thought they were beginning to know me. The person that confronted me found out that I never did what they thought and the sad thing is, is that they never apologized or acknowledged that they were wrong and that the way they began treating me because of this situation may have been wrong. It hurt me, but it also let me know what I am facing and I had no choice but to be honest with myself.
I have been accused of picking on people, lying on them etc;. Whenever I have had to discipline someone I have had to include witness statements to prove that I was in the right. The sad thing is when I have had to enforce policies and patient care requests people will go over my head and complain. I then have to go into a conference with my boss and explain the rationale behind my request. None of my peers have to go through this. it is almost useless to attempt to do my job because if I enforce my job the way I am supposed to I am being accused of picking on people, but if I don't do my job I get disciplined for not being a supervisor.
fawnmarie RN, When my boss called me that name it totally changed my respect for her. It also hurt my feelings and it closed the door on any thought that I may have had in coming to her with any issue that I may have. I look at her differently now, and it makes me really sad, because there isn't a neutral party available to help me resolve any of the issues that I am encountering.
My feelings would have been hurt, as well. That is abusive and hostile treatment that no one should have to endure! That's why I would suggest discussing your situation with an employee rights attorney. Find a lawyer who will be your advocate and expose the facility for allowing discrimination in the workplace!
Please get out of that environment immediately! What you are describing is very disturbing. You may even want to discuss your situation with an employee rights attorney. Since it sounds like you are a Christian, I suggest reading Psalm 16:8, my go- to scripture when I am in a difficult situation. Hold your head high, be the competent nurse that you are, and talk to a lawyer. Your supervisor should be reprimanded for calling you names, that is completely inappropriate and unacceptable! I am praying for you to stay strong during this time!
Very good advice! I would definitely go to my Higher Power through scripture and prayer, as I too, am a Christian. My second line of defense would be going to an employment attorney... as I have. Holding these ppl accountable for their words/actions will at least put a dent in their activities. When they feel the financial loss attributed to their behaviors, then perhaps they will think b4 they cross the wrong person. And that person will be someone willing to stand up for themselves at all cost! A lot of friends carrying friends over into new jobs at different facilities is the root cause of most workplace bullying/hostility. Non-professional socialization with employees is not the best way to manage a facility. This causes bias and conflict on many levels.
Thank-you for your comments. My boss hangs out with some of my peers on the weekends. My peers have followed my boss from their previous job. Because they are friends what they say is the gospel whether it is true or not. There isn't any confidentiality because my peers know everyone's private business. I am currently looking for a new job. I have decided to handle this situation when I leave the company to eliminate any further issues that I could encounter while being employed for this company.
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this! You sound like the only professional in this situation. I worked HR for several years before becoming a nurse so I'd advise you to document EVERYTHING. Keep a pocket-sized notebook with you at all times, and write in quotes exactly what was said, who said it, the setting, date, time, and any other pertinent details. This may help in establishing an ongoing pattern of harrassing behavior.
This is not just racist behavior, but pack-mentality bullying behavior. I hope you can get out soon because people of this caliber cannot be trusted. As someone else detailed from experience, when you leave file complaints with the EEOC, and every other agency available to you. I absolutely wish you the best.
After posting my problem I have decided to leave. Believe it or not I feel like a weight is being lifted. I have faith that things will work out some kind of way. Usually when people turn in their resignation attempts are made to find out why they are leaving, and if anything can be done to alleviate their issue. No one has even acknowledged that I turned in my resignation. I cannot dwell on it, because this issue is too far gone to resolve. I will decide my next steps after my notice is worked out. I haven't mentioned to anyone that I am leaving. Thank-you guys for your advice it has meant a lot and helped me tremendously. All things happen for a reason and I have learned many lessons, the biggest one is that when you faced with adversity not to run, but to handle the situation on your own terms. Nurses face a lot in their jobs on a daily basis, but to demean each other and bully each other adds another dimension to an already stress filled career choice (and yes it is very rewarding). I hope through this thread it will make us all think twice about how we interact and treat our peers, and encourage positive interactions. Thank-you guys!!!!!!!.
You sound like such a great person, I am sorry you are going through this!! I agree with most posters, cover your *ss and document the "incidents", tell the passive/aggressive nurse that does not "know" she is insulting you that yes, in fact she is. She may really not know, so be kind and inform her :) If this is a chain LTC facility I would definately let the upper corporate folks know when you leave. They are open to a big pile of bad news if someone gets a mind to sue them for hostile work environment.
And....as we say in Tennessee...."well, bless your heart!" (insert smile)
I am glad to hear you are leaving that toxic environment. Not only an openly discriminatory but a bullying place! Maybe just getting out will be enough for you, and maybe not. If you decide to pursue making them accountable for this when you are out of there and safe from retaliation, well, I'm sure I'm not the only one that supports you fully!
Lovinme I'm am sorry you are having such a hard time but you are not the only one that those comments or stereotypes have been leveled against. Unfortunately even if you move to another position you may still find ignorance. Most times the individual making those comments don't even know they are being offensive. I too have been passed over a promotion for being "too strong" yet another colleague is considered assertive.
The changes we all are looking for will not happen in our life time keep your head and practice nursing with integrity. Many time we have to adjust who we are without losing our sense of self so that we can make others feel comfortable and dispel their trained/socialized from birth notions that we are not what's portrayed on television. If management has a no tolerance policy this will stop. It really starts from the top down.
The problem is your supposed to go through the chain of command, if my DON stoops to their level there is no one to go to, and because they are all friends it's my word against theirs
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If the situation was reversed and I was the only one of my race in my workplace I would not only be getting myself out but also looking for an area to live in where I did not have to end up with them again.
In years past I was put to work in all-black homes and they were nowhere near as hostile as what is described here.
nette1022
80 Posts
ICURN7, That is exactly the situation that I am encountering. I have had them team up and relay an innocent observation about a patient and turn it into a negative comment involving a peer and their interaction with a patient. This person became pissed and confronted me. The sad thing is that I have had many conversations with this person, laughed and joked with them, and I thought they were beginning to know me. The person that confronted me found out that I never did what they thought and the sad thing is, is that they never apologized or acknowledged that they were wrong and that the way they began treating me because of this situation may have been wrong. It hurt me, but it also let me know what I am facing and I had no choice but to be honest with myself.