I need advice from you guys. I am working as a charge nurse/supervisor in a LTC facility. The dilemma is that I am the only African American Nurse on staff. I have had several staff members volunteer to me that they are not prejudiced because a black family moved into their neighborhood when they were teenagers or that they went to school with a black person, and they turned out to be really nice people. When I make a comment about something that happens there is one particular staff member (my peer) that will say "You know that happened because your black" and laugh. They have made this comment around a room full of people at times, and it is embarrassing. The other issue is that they are taking things that I say and reporting to my other peers that I was angry when I wasn't, and include comments that I may have made but attach it to the fact that I was supposedly angry to change the message. I recently was confronted about being angry about something that was passed on to me, when in reality I was speaking to one of the only nurses that I could talk to and the conversation was about, how I could present help to someone with the knowledge that I have to help them understand a skill that they are unfamiliar with. I am a very friendly outgoing person, but I have been keeping to myself to avoid the drama, yet I still get put into the drama. I need this job to pay bills, and I am looking for another job. I need ideas and some options, I don't want to make my family suffer financially: yet this environment is making me nervous. I don't say anything negative about anyone, and I don't add to the gossip; especially since I know my comments will be distorted. I recently just finished school and I need money to pay for expenses related to that. Any advice guys?
I hope you're not living too far up north or you'll always run into trouble. I always thought blacks should work with other blacks and it's specifically because of the misunderstandings you describe. This way, if someone is genuinely acting up they can be reprimanded by someone of their own race so it won't be labeled "a racial argument." If you go into private home care or a live-in job you can be matched up with the right clients and co-workers so these problems are less frequent. On certain live-ins they might also let you take your children to work. Please don't just give up.
I'm not sure if this was your intention, but your post puts you in a category of a segregationist. How about people simply treating others with respect regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, and so on. smh
Many of us have had to endure bullying in the workplace, especially as nurses. However, what the OP describes is far more hostile than anything I have heard of in my career. By calling you an obscene name, your supervisor has crossed an ethical line. No one should have to put up with that kind of harassment at work! Have you considered contacting the EEOC and the ACLU? What you have described is blatant workplace hostility. That facility needs to be cracked open and exposed for what it is! I would certainly not want my loved one living in an environment where such hostility and discrimination are fostered!
You may be right....but I think she may have not set her parameters in place in a timely fashion!
If you don't squelch it the first time it happens..it becomes more difficult to turn it around later.
She was a new graduate, I believe, and had not yet developed the interpersonal and leadership skills necessary to handle a new position.. plus the prejudice she encountered at the same time.
She was not prepared for the animosity encountered and did not address it on the spot.
Sorry, but no DON worth her salt dismisses a nurse that upholds patient care...they are the most valuable asset she has... and word, in LTC especially, does filter back to administration from the patients who appreciate a competent nurse!! No attitude allowed. You can't be accused of being an 'angry nurse' if you are smiling, one of a nurse's most important assets!! Nothing is easy!
I know, I have been making sure that I leave on time, trying to avoid management conversations about what's going on. My family doesn't want me to go back because I am so stressed. I am worried that they may get together and blame something on me and I will not be able to defend myself because they come together against me. I am afraid every day that I go in because I don't know what else is going to happen. If I had a dollar for every time I heard that I am not prejudiced because_______.(fill in the blank it's a variety for sure). I was frustrated one day after a bad day and trying to complete my paperwork my supervisor called me an a**hole, so I apologized to her, because I wasn't trying to be offensive.
OMG, I'm still reading through the thread to get perspective before I post a kneejerk respone to the "I'm not prejudiced because..." stuff but a supervisor who calls you that???? Run away, run away, run away. If your supervisor is like that it's... well, Queen takes Pawn. You're in a losing battle. Darn, so sorry this is your situation.
Mhusen, my first thought was to report it until I read that the supervisor called her an *******. Who does that in a managerial position? That's the thing about the environment she's working in.the level of respect just is not and never was there from her higher ups to the staff. It's a culture.
Either way, I do see your point. But I think the ball is too big at this point.
Soliloquy, You are my kind of nurse! Your take on this issue is exactly what I'm talking about. Someone wanting to do what is right and making a positive change. I love it! Finally a voice from someone who cares! That's what the patients need. Someone with character, integrity and a willingness to stand up for em... No one has to run, be a trail blazer or do anything contrary to what is right. That is how you earn respect! They may not like you, but they will respect you. Thanks for at least trying to make a difference. Some times all it takes is ONE. I'm proud of you..
It's a given, but not so much in hospitals as LTC! New Charge nurses are almost always challenged because no one likes or wants change! New Charge nurses equal new rules, new expectations, laissez faire long time 'drama queens' expected to step up, stopping long breaks and disappearances to other floors etc etc. Due to family re-locations, I've been the 'new' LTC Charge nurse in more places than I care to remember!
Hints from experience:
Never, ever socialize, gossip, or discuss any employee with another. That always comes back, distorted, to bite you however innocent your remark!
I've found that a quick 'conference', introducing myself at the beginning of the shift and stating my expectations, works best. ie.
"I have no intentions of making changes unless they are absolutely necessary for better patient care. I make assignments according to time required, not numbers, and perhaps a few of you will want to help me with that, or I can just muddle through and make a mess of it all by myself! If, for any reason, you are unable to complete any part of your assignment or a patient refuses care or a treatment, you are required to report that to me, no exceptions. I'll always seek your input for changes or to decide if rotating assignments, daily or weekly, works best for both residents and staff.
I have only two absolutes, 'No one leaves the floor for any reason without reporting to me who is covering their patients, and I will not allow 'inappropriate language, swearing, shouting or bickering' in the patient areas..if you must, take it into the shower room, shut the door so I can't hear you, and settle it!"
It's never ever easy, but creates less stress all around to state your intentions with a little self deprecating humor in the first five minutes...to prevent rumors and cut off the trouble makers before they start!
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Nobody deserves to be spoken to like that. I'm also disappointed that your supervisor swore at you. That is unacceptable. I hope that you are able to get out of that environment asap.
The problem is your supposed to go through the chain of command, if my DON stoops to their level there is no one to go to, and because they are all friends it's my word against theirs
I have stood up for myself, and it just feeds into their theory that I am angry and mean. I smile all of the time and I offer my help constantly. it is often overshadowed by the rumors and false stories.
Thank-you for your comments. My boss hangs out with some of my peers on the weekends. My peers have followed my boss from their previous job. Because they are friends what they say is the gospel whether it is true or not. There isn't any confidentiality because my peers know everyone's private business. I am currently looking for a new job. I have decided to handle this situation when I leave the company to eliminate any further issues that I could encounter while being employed for this company.
mhusen5, I have been a nurse beyond 15 years (I can't give the exact number because it will identify me) and I have encountered many situations, but nothing to this magnitude. I treat others as I would want to be treated, and after going through this it makes you even more mindful of how you are treating others. I miss the camaraderie that you develop with your peers. It is very hurtful to me to know that the people that I thought I was developing a positive work relationship with were the same people that are undermining me behind my back. It is difficult when there is no one that you can trust.
Upgrading_Status, BSN, MSN, RN, NP
70 Posts
I'm not sure if this was your intention, but your post puts you in a category of a segregationist. How about people simply treating others with respect regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, and so on. smh