One night shift nurse and one day shift husband...

Sensoria17 · Nov 6, 2010

I also work nights 5 days a week, M-F, pretty much the same hours as you. My husband works Sun-Thurs, 5a-1p. I usually sleep from 9-2. He comes home at about 2p so we eat lunch/dinner and spend some time together until about 5 or so and then I go back to bed until about 8:30. Even on Saturdays, we don't spend that much time together because I sleep most of the day and he's in bed by 7:30 or 8p. I really don't have much advice. I want a different schedule but I'm trying to hang in there because of the shift diff until a few bills get paid off.

JStollRN · Nov 6, 2010

Thanks for the reply! Yeah, I am trying to hang in there so I can get my year of acute care experience. I love the night shift and I am definitely a night person. We don't need the money but I guess we'll stick it out for the next 11 months, have some extra cash, and then I'll get a different job : )

It's nice to know there are others out there in similar situations.

wsuRN09 · Nov 6, 2010

My husband and I have the same problem. On nights I have to work we only see each other for 1-2 hours which, like you said, is not enough. On his days off he makes a point to be awake when I get home in the morning and we'll have breakfast together. When I don't have to work, he will stay up for an extra hour so we can get in a movie or go out to dinner (I try to wake up early on my days off but after a bunch of back to back shifts that doesn't always happen). It's hard but I feel really fortunate to have the husband that I do.

And no, I don't feel bad about him staying up late or getting up early... he is very good at napping

pharmgirl · Nov 6, 2010

We have the same problem. For awhile I was working 12p-12a which was a total nightmare. I didn't see him at all until days off. He leaves for work at 330am and gets home at 330p. So that schedule just doesn't work for us. I switched to nights which is a little better, we can at least have dinner together and I make sure I am awake when he gets home. However, unlike some of my coworkers, I like my family and have decided to accept a different position working 7a-7p. I just couldn't do it and I really respect those that can tough it out. Good luck to you!! My only advice is to spend as much time as possible, dont waste a second, its only temporary

silverbells_star · Nov 6, 2010

We have a similar schedules as you do, hubbie works 11p-7a (leaves house at 10p) and I work 8:30-5 most days. What he does is go straight to bed as soon as he gets home, so he's in bed by 8:30a then he'll get up around 4. I'll be home by 6 so we have every evening together. It works really well for us. He is off on the weekends and he will flip his schedule so we can have those days together. So he'll sleep just a few hours on Saturday get up and then come to bed again with me on Saturday night. I would suggest you get up earlier so you'll have some more time together.

Ali1Nurse · Nov 6, 2010

we would have the same prob if I didnt have problems sleeping. The main purpose of me taking 3rd shift. I leave around 10p and get home around 745a he has to b to work at 8 and comes home newhere between 4-6p. The only reason it works for us is this: i get home, calm down and in bed bout 9, and sleep until roughly 230-3p. then im up for the day. and i then get to spend time with my kids coming home from school work with homework and cook dinner and put the kids thru baths and bed then start to get myself rounded up for another night of work. I am one of those people who run better on 5-6 hrs sleep than 8+.. Dont know that I helped much, but I wish u all the best.. opposite shifts r hard on relationships in general.

KarmaWiseRaven · Nov 6, 2010

Working 2 different shifts can be stressful on a marriage and a relationship. On both sides of the coin it's most important to keep open communications. This goes for guys as well.

When i and my spouse worked different shifts i would leave her notes cards or a token. My cards would read somewhat funny things like ( Hi remember me i married you no that marriage picture is not a figment of your imagination either are the kids ) And i would wait up for her or vice versa.

I would find ways so we could find time. I know balancing family when both are different shifts is not easy either someone in our family would always have something going in school or something. So Guys meaning the Men take time to see your other 1/2 even if its going in the room and cuddling while they sleep leave her notes or some token (Bath and Body works ) Trust me.

And Girls you all do the same leave us notes or buy us something we wont laugh and we might feel a little better about the work habits. I missed so much working nights i felt left out at times. I even have woken up to find my daughter had her first crush or boyfriend. We all have to weather some storm in a relationship. Lets try not to make it a storm lets make it cloudy with a chance of showers LOL These are my thoughts use them as you wish

Otessa, BSN, RN · Nov 6, 2010

Hello everyone!
I was wondering what all of you husbands and wives do to spend time with each other when one of you works nights and the other, days. I work 5 nights a week. I leave the house around 10 pm and get home around 7:30 am. My husband leaves for work at 7 am and gets home at 4:30 pm. I try to wake up early...like around 7:30 pm every night so we can spend about 1.5 hours together before I get ready for work but it isn't enough time!
Even on the days off, I like to try and sleep in a bit, but if I do that, I don't see him at all on my days off : (
I was thinking that I might have to start working part-time so I can see him more. Do any of you have a similar situation, and if so, how do you deal with it?

When I worked nights I would sleep from the time I got home (about 8 or 9 AM until 3 or 4PM-a good 7 hours of sleep). Do you do other things prior to going to bed in the AM that you sleep until 7:30PM? If you got up at 3 or 4 then you would have several hours with your husband before going to work .

JStollRN · Nov 6, 2010

When I worked nights I would sleep from the time I got home (about 8 or 9 AM until 3 or 4PM-a good 7 hours of sleep). Do you do other things prior to going to bed in the AM that you sleep until 7:30PM? If you got up at 3 or 4 then you would have several hours with your husband before going to work .

Well, when I get home, I eat dinner and need a couple of hours to wind down before I can fall asleep. It is also the time when I talk with family/friends, catch up on e-mails and such. Unfortunately, I need as close to 8 hours or more hours of sleep as I can get. When I get up in the evening, we do have dinner together and watch some television...I just could never be the type of person who could fall asleep as soon as I get home. I've always had issues with that : ( Working at night or not. I wish I could sleep when I got home...that would definitely help out a lot!

casi, ASN, RN · Nov 6, 2010

Honestly working nights while he works days works really well for me and my boyfriend. I told him there was no way in heck I could ever work day shift. My body just can't do it, I work all day come home and just crash. He knows from my preceptorship and my job orientation that if I were to work evenings we would never see eachother.

We leave each other a lot of little notes. Text each other random pics.

I tend to crawl into bed between 9 and 10. That way I am up around 5 or 6.

cleback · Nov 6, 2010

Yeah, same boat. I leave for work around 9pm and get home around 9am five nights/week, and my fiance works M-F 9-6. Like the other poster said, if I didn't have sleeping problems, it would be a serious issue. I usually don't sleep past 4pm, and he comes home around 6pm... so we usually can spend 2-3 hours together.

It sucks but c'est la vie. This was also the only job I could find after graduation. I think about cutting back too, but I don't want to do that so soon after starting. I also wouldn't know what to do with myself on weekdays off. I'm just dealing with it until I can find another job/plan/life.