Ok I am FREAKING OUT

catsmeow1972, BSN, RN · Mar 3, 2018

I keep a zero balance all the time, then on the day I am selected to test, in Affinity there's a "fund test" or something like that, and I authorize the $55.00 for that day's test. I am quite sure they will never just bill you, they want the money up front. But that doesn't mean you have to put any additional money in the Affinity account, just enough to do one test, and only deposited on the day of the test.

I do it the same way. I don't think they will allow you to "authorize" a test without paying them. That thing is run like the mafia. Pay up or else....

catsmeow1972, BSN, RN · Mar 3, 2018

That being said, there are credit card style prepaid gift cards that work just like a Visa. I've found that I can preload that card with the minimum they require that I have available on a real CC or debit, put that as my CC for the program, and just refill the credit on the gift card as the balance dips.

That's an idea I had not thought about. That creates quite the limit that they can suck no matter what.

JxoRN · Mar 4, 2018

Ok, I have recovery Trek, maybe that's why. When the results come back, I get charged. I am still waiting on that damn PETH test result I am so SCARED I have random crying bouts and if someone simply asks me what's wrong, I just wanna cry,

Kel65, MSN, RN · Mar 4, 2018

Peth results take 5 to 7 days FYI. Got both mine in five.

JxoRN · Mar 4, 2018

Ok today is day 5. If it comes back positive, what will happen...? Any ideas?

Kel65, MSN, RN · Mar 4, 2018

I'm in the Texas Program, in this program if you had a positive EtG which I assume you had because a positive ethanol would have triggered a ETG to rule it a negative rather than a PETH it would be a referral back to the board or another assessment with program restart if you were in compliance with other program requirements. Good luck.

JxoRN · Mar 4, 2018

Ok.. I mean I am 4 months into it. We will see. I'll let everyone know what happens. Thanks everyone for your support and words of encouragement. My only saving grace is I don't binge, and didn't binge and had that 1 glass of wine. I guess that's what lets me sleep at night. We will see. (Dumb thing is, the drug test on 2/16 that came back positive, I don't know what made it positive, bc I didn't drink anything, I drank on 2/18. So that's what worries me.)

Eris Discordia BSN, RN · Mar 4, 2018

You won't hear back over the weekend, but hopefully you will get some answers early in the week. I know you are sick with worry. Hopefully you will just get time added or a program restart and not sent back to the Board. Some programs are friendlier with lapses than others.

Outside of these programs, lapses and relapses are part and parcel with true addiction (I don't know if you identify as addicted/alcohol abuser or not). But in actual addiction, you fess up to your treatment team or group, redo your 90 in 90, whatever...and you move forward. You are supported.

But these are not true treatment programs, despite what they try to sell. They are MONITORING programs. Mine has the word "monitoring" in their title, not treatment. Ergo, their objective is truly just making sure if you screw up, that you get caught.

You see, I am a tried and true addict. Early on, there were times when having a lapse or even relapse was tempting...but I felt like I couldn't say a word to get increased support from my drug treatment team, individual therapist, or psychiatrist, because I knew that everything I told them would be reported back to the program in one way or another. And I didn't want to get punished, I wanted help.

So I said nothing, got no additional support, and had to work through those feelings on my own, which I was able to do. I am more bitter about the fact that I couldn't be honest with my treatment team that is invested in my success, due to the fact that I couldn't risk the program finding out I was struggling. I am an addict and I was desperate for help from my team. I am who these programs are meant for...but I still couldn't get additional help because of the risk. I'm good now, but it was incredibly isolating.

We are here for you. We care about your success. We care about your struggles. Slips or triumphs, we are here. Keep us posted. You can get thru this.

Best wishes,

Eris

catsmeow1972, BSN, RN · Mar 4, 2018

That is what is so sad about this whole process. The whole 12 step stuff that is such a HUGE part of these programs has as one of its major tenets â€˜be honest'. How can you subscribe to what they are wanting to indoctrinate you with (12 step) if you can't even be honest to your treatment team from the beginning. None of this stuff is about recovery or even treatment. This stuff is about punishment and it is simply to be survived. Real treatment begins after it's over and real recovery begins when you are ready.

Those of us with mental health issues who asked for help and instead got railroaded into drug rehab and scammed out of a lot of money. How is that honest. These people don't even subscribe to thier own gospel.

JxoRN · Mar 4, 2018

100% agree. That's why too, with this PETH test. No, I will deny deny deny. Being honest and self reporting myself did nothing. Especially since the hospital didn t report me. I feel like I just dig myself a deeper hole every time I am honest.

SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN · Mar 5, 2018

Yeah, if they want honesty they ought to think about dumping the atmosphere of fear and coercion. Why would you tell the truth to these blood-suckers. Honesty isn't rewarded and as a result you get a bunch of weekly nurse support groups full of platitudes and BS and (I'm sure) Pollyannaish monthly reports where the world is SOOO much better because you are sober even if you have no money and these idiots won't let you get a suitable job.

That who program of rigorous honesty thing is for the voluntary members of recovery not for us prisoners

JxoRN · Mar 5, 2018

Agreed. The thing too, this "recovery" they speak of, they don't make it easy. They make you want to do things. I mean holy stressful. I checked my recovery trek and still no results.