He Is Thinking Of Quitting

  1. HI ALL, I am writing here as you can tell i am a lurker more than a poster. but I have gotten to know one of the nurses that frequent here and have decided to let everyone know he is thinking of quitting his job again. he is a great nurse and a wonderful person his patients love him where ever he goes,. but it all seems to be getting to him lately, he takes his job seriously and wants all his patients experiences to be wonderful, he even volunteers as a doula on his days off. I have seen him work all night and stay almost all day with a laboring patient. but it seems that some of his coworkers are jealous some openly try to make trouble for him, some have even thrown away some letters and survey cards with his name on it out of jealousy. he is a good hearted person and will do any thing for anyone.
    i am worried because i think the stress of all of that and the fact that they had a couple of bad outcomes lately may drive him away from us. it would be such a loss for his patients and nursing.

    well i just had to post, i did not use his name because i am not sure he would want it posted around, like i said it is only a thought on his mind at this time. I pray it does not come to pass. everyone just keep him in your prayers. thanks HOLLY
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    About hollybear

    Joined: Jul '02; Posts: 42


  3. by   renerian
    I am sorry holly who is he? You don't have to say a name I just did not know if it was someone close or what the situation is.

    If your close to him then stand up for him. Stand up to those that throw away his cards and seem to down him every chance they can. Maybe if he knew how well he was appreciated ,by some of the other staff then he may reconsider his position. Its hard to stay somewhere where you arent appreciated and its even worse when when your co workers turn on you as well. Stand up for him, and tell him atleast how you feel and appreciate what he does and how he helps you.
    Good Luck
  5. by   SmilingBluEyes
    This is intolerable. I don't blame him for quitting. Is your manager aware of this situation? If not, I would make him/her aware. If so and he/she is not supportive, then I do NOT blame him if he pulls up stakes and leaves for green pastures. Perhaps, in that situation it would be best. At least for him....for you, it's a tragic loss. But he has to look out for HIMSELF...there are other places that will better-support him. Sorry to hear that in 2003, (almost) this type of stupidity and predjudice still exist!
  6. by   hollybear
    i find it intolerable myself and have said so. some just get so jealous because patients always ask for him by name. and he will take more than his share of patients just because the patients want him. instead of them being proud of him or even just glad that they got someone who will take most of the work load ,who will work or trade anyday for anyone they just get jealous. he has had a particularly bad month with diffucult deliveries etc and he has mentioned to me he is thinking of leaving OB and maybe nursing for good this time. I know you all know him he used to be on here a lot. it is Mark, i hope he dont get mad if he see this. but I just would like everyone to preay for him . i hope he stays even though he only works PRN with us it would be a great loss to us all. If he leaves I am leaving to, i am trying to get the others to see what they what they have done and the lack of support they have given him is wrong. He is a great nurse, I have the pleasure of watching him work. it is awesome to just watch him sit their on the edge of his patients bed holding her hand rubbing her back and talking to her or what ever else he feels they need, i have even seen him pray silently for them. I have yet to see the patient he could not calm. well as you can tell this is troubling me greatly. I hope it all works out.
  7. by   renerian
    I feel bad for both of you especially him as he sounds like a wonderful nurse. I used to work with someone who did not like me. She said I was to nice to other nurses and to my patients. She rode my back. I was glad when she transfered. She was also my preceptor.

  8. by   2banurse
    Maybe he doesn't need to quit, but standing back for awhile and taking some R&R for himself would help him. He sounds like a nurse that anyone would clammer to work with, and maybe if those treating him so badly would see what an asset he is, they would be the ones leading the pack on keeping him on staff.

    If I was his friend and colleague, I would suggest that he take a little time off...just don't quit yet, because he will surely be missed.

  9. by   mother/babyRN
    Mark is so special because he is not fearful of showing how much he cares for his patients. Other nurses could learn from such an approach, but feeling threatened or jealous is no reason to attack someones nursing approach. Many of my ( and I am certain all of you) patients keep in touch, send pictures, ask for me and are happy to let their friends know about me. I am not the only one, but I am one who is as honest with them as I expect them to be with me. It is usually those people who desire the qualities that patients covet, who most often assign blame and create disention. I don't personally know Mark other than here, and I hope he is not upset that we are thinking of him and making him the focus of this discussion. I went through a difficult time lately when I was away from the boards for awhile, and it was Mark who inquired how I was doing and did so because he noticed that I wasn't "here"..
    How can people change their attitudes and actions? Usually by approaching the people responsible for the problem and just being straight with them. That takes time and at times, finesse...I learned to involve my co workers in humour when interacting with patients. After awhile, when patients asked for me, they would playfully roll their eyes when they told me. Now, they find themselves often asked for and about. That helped those who were hesitant to be so easy going with patients, relax a little and enjoy the patient reaction to their nursing skills beyond the clinical arena....Mark, if you are reading this, you can and shouldn't be anyone else other than who you are. I don't feel it is a management thing personally, because a decent manager would already be involved, however, as I am now discovering in my career, thanks to the advice of many of you, one has to do what is best for them first, for in the long run, YOU are the one who has to live this life....Right? I finally figured out that some changes, though initially uncomfortable and downright scary, might be just the thing I needed to expound upon my creativity, nursing and nuturing qualities....These things have gone unappreciated and it sounds as though Mark is suffering some of that very same thing.
    To deny a person for wonderful qualities is to not be an advocate for nursing. There needs to be a middle ground established, and failing that, perhaps it is time for a change. Patients will be joyous and fortunate to have Mark for a nurse whereEVER he is , and where EVER he goes...I will say many prayers for him too....{{{}}}Hugs to Mark, and to you for being such a wonderful friend.....
  10. by   HazeK
    Originally posted by hollybear
    ... he is thinking of quitting his job again. he is a great nurse and a wonderful person his patients love him where ever he goes,. i think the stress of all of that and the fact that they had a couple of bad outcomes lately may drive him away from us. it would be such a loss for his patients and nursing.
    My first guess would be Mark....
    Please tell him to come work with me!
    We need nurses who still care!

  11. by   RNMom1969
    If you're reading this.......ever think about moving to New England?? lol.....I would consider it an honor to work with you! Just in reading some of what has been said here and reading your postings, you sound like a wonderful nurse. Don't let people get to you......there's some in every bunch!
    Best of luck to you......let your heart be your guide. Remember, we don't show up to work everyday to please our co-workers....we do it to hopefully make a difference in the lives of others.
    One more thing! Someone said something about bad babies recently? Not to sound off-handish about it.....but you KNOW it happens. Sometimes under the best of circumstances......can't predict it, don't know why, just does. Don't beat yourself up over it!!!!!!
  12. by   Audreyfay
    If it is Mark....I have enjoyed reading your thoughtful posts here and on other nursing boards. I have gotten burned out from working too hard. A well-deserved vacation would help you sort things out. My hubby helps pull the reins when I start to work too much. Start asking for help in determining if you should say yes or no. Good nurses are hard to find. Keep the faith brother
  13. by   mark_LD_RN
    Hi thanks everyone, yes it is me holly was talking about.I was a little upset when i first read the post,but i am also pleased to see she cared enough to post it .

    and thanks for everyone here for the support and kindness.

    I have decided to take some time off to be with my family and think things over. as a matter of fact we are going to Birmingham alabama for New Years Eve it will be woldest girls 21st birthday!I think i have decicded to stay in nursing since it really is my calling. I just think i over extended my self to far and then this jealousy thing came up with some other issues i think it just overwhelmed my tired soul.

    thanks everyone for the thoughts and prayers. i will let you all know how it turns out.

    if any of you all are ever in my area let me know would love to meet the people here someday
    Last edit by mark_LD_RN on Dec 29, '02
  14. by   imenid37
    hope 2003 brings you wonderful things! you are smart to take some time off and relax.