coming out

  1. i have a friend at work who is afraid to "come out" because we work exclusively with women pts.and all...she is afraid of what people will think. she wants some thoughts on the subject from nurses she doesn't know!!!
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    Joined: Mar '01; Posts: 3


  3. by   kewlnurse
    If she "came out" how could patients possibly know that she is unless she was throwing it in peoples faces, which if thats the case she should stay in, or what ever you call it. I don't go around flaunting my heterosexualness.
  4. by   newborn 5555
    thank you for your thought out reply kday!
    no my friend would not flaunt her gayness in anyones face. She is obviously not a flamboyant person if she is this hesitant but ya know people talk and no one can control this. I work on a floor where we know a lot of the patients from our schools or from around so it's pretty touchy. Yes we get a lot of lesbian couples and they are supported to their faces but talked about later. I have many gay friends including this one i work with so i can relate to her apprehencivness. She still hasn't said anything...we work with 2 or 3 really homophobic women...not cool. In this day and age i wish people would just live and let live. Thanks for your replies i enjoy reading them. Looking forward to more discussions!!!!
  5. by   Mermaid4
    People talk...Tht is just the way it is, but if your friend thinks it is important to let her co workers know and she feels confident in who she is, they won't see her for her sexuality, but for the person she is..
  6. by   nursemary9

    I don't know;I think if I were her, I'd be real careful; It almost doesn't sound like a real accepting atmosphere. I think she should wait yet.
    I work in a large city hospital that is located in the heart of the Gay COMMUNITY, & even so, I'd be real careful; I know thatat this time we should be more enlightened, but some people are NOT.

  7. by   traumaRUs
    I guess I don't see what business it is of anyones. I work in the conservative Midwest. We have quite a few homosexual couples on staff and as patients. It honestly doesn't matter one way or another. The ability to care for another human being is more important to me than someone's sexuality.
  8. by   Quickbeam
    I always think it is wise to be careful about overdoing personal information in the work place. I'm not gay but my husband and I are childfree by choice. I have learned through very negative experiences that this is information I should keep to myself. I think you need to gauge your surroundings, the work atmosphere and the trust level. "TMI" (too much information) is a common abbreviation for a reason.
  9. by   missmercy
    We have a few gay couples working here -- the expectation is that they keep their personal lives personal -- just like we heterosexual couples are supposed to do! No special rules or anything. People talk about the nurses who date our docs or thechs who are dating our nurses etc.... lesbian or gay or straight won't matter to the gossip mill -- they talk about everybody!
  10. by   UM Review RN
    Does she need to come out? I mean, is someone hitting on her or something like that?

    I really don't think one's personal life needs to be a topic at work.
  11. by   MandyInMS
    I agree with the others who said.. Who's business is it what your sexual preferences are...Work/Sex...2 diff has nothing to do with the other imo..I could care less what 'sexual origin' my co-workers are as long as they do their job. It's his/her own business..they can discuss it or not...personal decision.
  12. by   SmilingBluEyes
    It's no one's business but her own. I don't think she has to "come out" in any dramatic form. I am glad I work in a place where such things are not an issue at all. We are a very accepting and relaxed group in that respect.
  13. by   merricat
    the thing is, to a heterosexual woman, talking about "my husband" when at work is not generally an expression of sexuality, but of emotionality. it bothers me that when a lesbian woman says "my wife" people suddenly thinks she is flaunting her sexuality when she is not. she is showing her emotionality. just like straight women do all the time. GO LESBIANS! but as far as practical advice, i am afraid i have none (i am straight).
  14. by   fotografe
    One of the Ob's in the practice my Dr. belonged to is gay. It was obvious to me but my husband was oblivious. Did it matter? no. SHe delivered my daughter with the same care one of the straight doctors would have. Did she tell me she was gay? No. Would I have liked her to? No. It was not what I was concerned with while screaming for an epidural. While your sexuality certainly is a part of who you are, for the most part, it isn't important in the workplace. It is nice to not have to explain your differences to people all the time, but when you are different you may have to. I would say not to worry about "hiding", and when the opportunity comes up to educate her co-workers, do it. As long as she is a good nurse, who she loves would not make a difference to me. It probably does not make a difference to many other people either. Of course, there will always be those it DOES make a difference to, but you can usually smell those folks coming a million miles away. Tell her to be strong. Good luck.