Am I the only one who finds this disrespectful?

[klone]

Right now there are two threads (one which was closed) devoted to "things you should know before coming into our department" and the tone of the thread is thinly-veiled contempt at ignorant, uneducated or silly things patients or patients' families say or do. I've been hanging around this board for a couple years, and these threads are a regularly occurring thing.

I haven't said anything in these threads, instead I just close the thread and move on. But whenever I read them, I can't help but feel how disrespectful these threads seem. I understand people are "blowing off steam" and all that, but I don't know. It still really bothers me, and makes me wonder if these people who are so contemptuous are really able to mask their feelings very well.

These threads often get SO big, which makes me wonder if maybe I'm alone in thinking that it's inappropriate and disrespectful to mock the patients we see, even if it is behind their backs.

[SharonH, RN]

if you were needy and on public assitance, what would your attitude be?

judging from the attitudes i'm reading, i would probably be very ..........defensive.

my demeanor and attitude in life is not determined by how much money i have in the bank, but it comes from inside. i am the same person no matter how much i have or do not have. if you're nice to me, i'll be nice to you.

[slou!]

Not a stupid omnivore question.

The word "veg*ns" is shorthand for "vegetarians and vegans".

I was vegan for two and a half, and I never knew that and I was always reading it on veg forums! I also assumed it was just a way people felt like writing vegan, haha! I am now vegetarian, and have been for 3 years, but it's been a while since I've been on a vegetarian forum..

Just to stay on topic, I don't think it's just the nursing profession that does this at all. I think ANY profession, this venting goes on, whether you choose to participate in it or not! I know where I work (I'm just a pre-nursing student, oh wait, are we called "nurse wannabes" now? ) anyway where I work, in a baby retail store, I deal with people who I have to vent about quite frequently. It is what keeps me from saying it to the customer! Our break room may sound pretty offensive, but I deal with some of the RUDEST people (as you all do too, I'm sure! Trust me I am NOT in any way saying I deal with more rude people or my job is harder because I know it is NOT.) but anyway, I deal with really really rude people, ALL day long. The only way to keep from being rude back is to vent, and the majority of the people I work with feel the same because they are right there with me venting.

Since I am just a lowly pre-nursing student, I am not saying I know what it is like to be a nurse, because I don't. I am not a nurse, and I do not claim to be. I guess I probably shouldn't even be posting on here then, but oh well. I am just putting it into perspective from my point of view..

[smk1, LPN]

Perhaps more of us should be proactive in finding a method of reporting the sbuses to the system that we see. I know a person who is on WIC, gets free medical coupons for her family because their income looks so low due to being self employed and having tons of write offs. This family has a brand new SUV that is paid for a 6ok dollar convertible sports car, vacation properties in in florida, an AIRPLANE, own an appartment complex and other rental properties and have access to enough money do almost whatever they please. I was appalled....yet I haven't said a word because I felt like it wasn't my business to know their medical insurance info. In all other ways these are very nice people but this is the sort of abuse that makes people shake their heads at the whole system.

[jonear2, RN]

OK, Ive read through all the posts and this is my question:

Please give an example of a "venting post" that would be considered "just venting" and on that would be considered "over the line" because I think that is the gray area. What one poster considers offensive is what another would consider humerous. But out of curiosity I would like to see the difference please.

[klone, MSN, RN]

I'm loathe to do this because I think it's inappropriate to call out specific individuals, and it's really a moot point, anyway. What one person finds "venting" and "humorous," another person will find "disrespectful" and each person will have their own line.

Suffice it to say that in both of the big threads in question (not the one that was closed, but one recent one and one that was actually started a year+ ago and is still going strong), some of the posts literally made me cringe, and others really didn't bother me. I would say that the majority of the posts did NOT cross my personal line, but the ones that did really made me think "Wow, that was kind of a harsh and b**chy thing to say!"

[LydiaNN]

I would say that venting posts are those that address the behavior of the patient, while those that cross the line address patient characteristics like socioeconomic status, race or ethnicity, gender, specific diagnosis, religious or spiritual beliefs, marital status, etc.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

OK, Ive read through all the posts and this is my question:

Please give an example of a "venting post" that would be considered "just venting" and on that would be considered "over the line" because I think that is the gray area. What one poster considers offensive is what another would consider humerous. But out of curiosity I would like to see the difference please.

Venting post: boy it was a rough day, I had three post ops, two addmissions, one crashed and management wanted me to go to a "customer service" committee meeting.

Disrepectful post: This homeless person came in stinking to high heaven because he hadn't had a bath in a week, with high blood pressure from his noncompliance, and after he was seen had the nerve to ask for dinner. I thought "gee mister, we're not going to be seeing a dime for this visit and you're not at a hotel".

[klone, MSN, RN]

Or perhaps questions that people ask because they're unfamiliar with the birth process. Not everyone has our medical training and background. I guess I'm of the opinion that ignorance should not be mocked, no matter how outlandish the question seems to US, OB nurses.

[slou!]

I would say that venting posts are those that address the behavior of the patient, while those that cross the line address patient characteristics like socioeconomic status, race or ethnicity, gender, specific diagnosis, religious or spiritual beliefs, marital status, etc.

:yeahthat:

That would be my definition of venting and what crosses the line!

[magz53]

PLEASE, PLEASE do not stop venting. I was so excited to find this site, I went to work and told everyone about it. As other posters have said, our spouses really do not understand. My husband listens, but I can feel his impatience for me to finish my venting. Some nights we deal with life and death emergencies AND the demands of patients who think they are in a hotel. Yes, it irritates me when patients arrive by ambulance with the first twinge to be followed by a waiting room full of people who could have brought them. It bothers me to see smokers smoking and their babies drinking Kool-aid. It bothers me even more to be written up by a patient's mother when I told her teen-age daughter that babies who spend time around cigarette smoke are more prone to respiratory illnesses. It bothers me to see patients on assistance wearing leather jackets, sporting tatoos with ipods and cell phones........none of which I have ever owned. I am almost social security age and a huge hunk of my wages go to health insurance for me and my husband and college age son left home. I have been a nurse for 33 years. I remember when I was allowed to do patient teaching and didn't have to walk on egg shells lest Press Ganey get a bad report. I love my job overall or I wouldn't still be there........BUT I WOULD EXPLODE IF I COULDN'T VENT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

PLEASE, PLEASE do not stop venting. ........BUT I WOULD EXPLODE IF I COULDN'T VENT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's the #1 service this site provides I think, for myself and many other people.

I'm reasonably sure the intent of the original poster wasn't to say that we shouldn't come here and vent.

Sometimes if I didn't laugh I would cry. A couple of things I appreciate from the op bringing this up. It's important for me to start taking a moment and asking myself "am I getting a laugh at someone elses expense? Am I tearing someone else down just to make myself feel good. Or is this a legitimate concern that I need to share with people who understand." Before anything thinks I'm holier than though, my past shows that I'm not good at this, but I can learn, try and grow. I read a recent thread about empathy, part of it for me is to make it my goal not to make fun of people, because I know how it feels.

Another thing is that people interpret things differently and I have to allow that. If someone is seriously venting, and another person is insulted, I have to allow both - the person to vent if it helps them cope, and the respect that it's a big world wide web here at Allnruses where we don't always think alike.

[Miss Mab]

Disrepectful post: This homeless person came in stinking to high heaven because he hadn't had a bath in a week, with high blood pressure from his noncompliance, and after he was seen had the nerve to ask for dinner. I thought "gee mister, we're not going to be seeing a dime for this visit and you're not at a hotel".

See, this is where it gets tricky. I don't find that particularly offensive. Except for maybe saying he had the nerve part. NO ONE would care if someone asked for dinner--if you have it ya give it. Having the thought--but not statement or action behind it about the hotel is a private thought one should be entitiled to have. But the post itself is factual.

Actually, to edit it to be more realistic and slightly more vent-worthy --

This homeless person came in for the third time this week stinking to high heaven because he hadn't had a bath since the last two times we cleaned him,with high blood pressure from his noncompliance, and after he was seen he asked for dinner and when we told him that, as usual, all we had were sandwiches and sometimes not even those but we will look, then guess what I get yelled at because there was only tuna and grape juice not cranberry. And no, I'm sorry we simply do not have any more cab vouchers per hospital policy. I am sorry you feel I'm a bi#$ because of that I can certainly offer you the list of resources I do have --shelters/Phone # of social worker, etc.

It was a mighty pleasure being your nurse today. See you on Friday...:)

I wonder if a lot of this vent acceptance/vent abhorence has to do with specifically where you might work and in what particular unit? Seems pretty universal but I would say some simply have to develop thicker skin than others---doesn't make you a bad nurse. Just not a guillable one.