Nursing STUDENT doesn't mean NURSE!!!!

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How can I get my family to understand this???

My cousin's little boy (will be 6mo next week) has RSV. He's in the pediatric ICU on a venatalator, and "critical but stable" according to what she's been told. I TOTALLY understand that she's scared and worried, I would be too, but she keeps calling me and asking me if his nurses and doctors are doing the right things or if certian things are "good or bad". I told her the best I could do is give her my VERY LIMITED knowledge and tell her what questions she should ask. I told her I would be happy to look up his medicines in my drug guide, and tell her everything I can find on RSV, but I don't really know much else to do! She told me that her son's nurses seem to keep getting fustrated when she doesn't understand something and that's why she calls me so that "I can help her understand".

I told her that if she doesn't understand to keep asking for clarification, because I don't have a licence, I don't have his chart, and I wouldn't even know how to understand that information if I did have it because I haven't learned it yet!

I know she's worried, (I know I would be) how can I get her to understand that just because I'm in school to be a nurse that I'm not one yet? I'm concerned that she is looking to me for answers instead of with her little boy's Nurses and Docs.

Any Thoughts?

Chancie

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

You could say "Cousin, I know you are worried but when you are asking me things regarding your son's illness, you are asking the wrong person. You should be talking to his doctors and nurses. I have limited knowledge base and I don't want to give you the wrong info and I am not qualified to give you medical advice regarding your son."

I've been there too. My sister would call me regarding her boyfriend's brother who had to have knee surgery which incidently was at the hospital where I worked. She called me in the middle of the night when I was working and said "Sis, they don't even have an I.V. in him yet". He was in the CDU or Clinical decision Unit and totally stable. Just had an infected knee. I was frustrated with her because she called me or texted me a few times prior asking me about things related to his care so the last and final time she called me and it was about the I.V. I said, "What do you want me to do, interrupt my patient care to tell the nurses down in the CDU to do their job. I think not."

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I'm pre-nursing and anytime someone gets a cut they say "You want to be a doctor. Come look at this." I tell them constantly.... I do not want to be a doctor. I want to be a nurse. lol. people seem to think that everyone in the medical field is the same. Seems like you have a tough situation. I think if there was something pretty basic that she didn't understand I would try to help, but its likely to be something beyond your knowledge since you are a student. I would just keep repeating that it is out of your scope for now and she has to listen to her nurses and doctors.

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I feel your pain. Seems to me you have 2 choices.

1. Be a cousin; a family member. Make it clear that you are there for support but that it is not a good idea to get involved in his care.

2. Continue to do what you have been doing. The more you help her the more she will depend on you.

I am not telling you that one way is more right than the other, just that you need to make a decision. Once you have made the decision which way you want to go, then stick to it.

I would recommend setting some boundaries however. Especially as a student, you should be careful about the kind of information that you give. It's difficult for even seasoned nurses to be in this situation, so try not to stress too much.

Good luck with whatever happens and keep coming here for support.

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First off, I'm so sorry the little guy is so sick, that has got to be a tough situation for everyone involved.

While it's true that you can't advise her at all, you may be able to understand what her Doc's and Nurses are saying better than her and maybe help her understand. Is there a way you can be with her at the hospital when the Doc comes by?

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I think that it's understandable-in this situation that involves a family member-that the family would look to you. When people are desperate for information, they are going to look to anyone even remotely in the field.

Just be honest, as they know you are a nursing student. As for actual medical information, even when you are a nurse, it's the role of the physician to deliver it, and then as the nurse, you can explain it if needed. Also, most nurses are pros at their particular specialty, but not quite so in other areas. If a family member happens to need info from one of those areas the nurse doesn't work, I'd think they'd be in a dilemma similar to yours.

It sounds like your family is in need of the most fundamental aspect of nursing-the caring aspect. You need to listen, be honest (which involves saying you don't know if you don't), and provide support. This is the kind of stuff that you will be remembered for when the child gets better. If you go around saying how you are just a student, and turn away when you could be caring in ways you know how to care and can care, you'll be missing an opportunity to be there for your family in your unique role as nursing student.

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Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

I guess a lot of nursing students go thru this. I did until I realized they just wanted to vent to someone who "understands". So now I listen more than talk and say "I don't know. What did your doctor say?" My best advice is to help them formulate questions to ask, but I refrain from providing answers.

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Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

I used to say, "We haven't gotten to that part, yet." Now I say, "I don't take care of anyone >15 lbs."

Definitely offer love and support and redirect her to ask the docs and nurses caring for the baby. Best wishes to your family.

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I wish I could be there to at least be supportive, but she's like 5 or 6 hours away, and being Christmas time and 3 kids, one in prek and it's just not practical right now.

I'm VERY careful to make sure I always follow up any information I give her with "...but you should ask his nurse or doctor if it's something your concerned about!" Mostly she's been concerned with this blood pressure, heart rate, and O2. I told her that the machines should go off if there is a reason to be concerned, and not to be concerned that the blood pressures/ heart rate seem off because it's not the same for babies as it is with adults,...insert quote above... I did tell her that when my daughter was sick once (not with rsv) that her doctors told me that as long as the O2 was above 93-94 that it was usually ok, but again...insert quote above...

I just hate it when I can't help and people look to me for help.

Chancie

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If you start in January, YOU AREN"T EVEN A NURSING STUDENT YET!

Don't give her any opinions because you likely don't have any basis for it. Tell her that. It is nothing to be ashamed of. It is just the truth.

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Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

Welcome to the world of nursing - some people think that just by enrolling for the classes that you become a walking, talking medical reference book. And it gets worse as you progress. I find myself constantly repeating the "I'm not a doctor, i can't diagnose that". mantra over and over.

I am sorry to hear about the little guy being so sick. Be supportive, but also continue to remind your cousin that she should be saving her questions for the doctors.

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Specializes in ED, Flight.

I sympathize with your frustration; but it is kind of funny to see this universal phenomenon come up once again. It happens in every generation and all over the world!

My father used to tell how all the family (many of them Eastern European immigrants with little formal education) used to go to Cousin Albert for medical help and advice. He came back from WWII as an Army medic. Whoa! They thought this surely makes him a doctor! For the rest of his life, they'd talk about how Albert was 'practically a doctor' and continually pester him for advice and direction, even though he INSISTED he didn't have the knowledge and couldn't help them.

So, it'll only get worse when you've actually gone through school and gotten a license. :D

The safest and smartest thing you can do is tell people bluntly, 'I cannot help you with the information you want. I don't know it. I'm not qualified to get into it. Please don't keep asking me.'

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