I started NS a few weeks ago and have yet to start the clinical component. I find the information/lecture part of the class highly interesting, as I love to learn, especially about diseases/mental nervous, stuff like that. I am actually very pleasantly suprised at how interesting it is and how fast ten hours of strait lecture can be!!!:chuckle HOWEVER, and that's a BIG HOWEVER, I am seriously becoming concerned that my personality is not going to jive with nursing. I am not much a people person. I'm a talker, but I don't really like to be around people or have much desire in helping them. (bear with me here, OK ). I get very anxious when I start thinking about having to touch patients and talk to patients, and, well, basically relate to them in any way! My anxiety too at performing the skills and check offs in school is VERY high...(my hands shake, I get flushed, etc) The hands on aspect of nursing is very scary for me and I get super anxious just thinking about it! I have been struggling with depression and have been socially isolated up until NS, but really my personality has been this way all my life.
I have taken tests that tell me I am not good with people, am much of a loner. Do you think I could ever change this part of my personality or am I just swimming upstream here??Would I ever grow to enjoy nursing and truly be fulfilled by it? Psych nursing appeals but I don't know if that is just because I feel a little psycho right now.:rotfl:
Basically, if I am working against my personality, is there any way I can succeed or find a good "niche" in nursing or should I just cut my losses finally and get out and go into lab work or something?
I am just waiting for that light bulb to go off where I go, "WOW! This is really fulfilling for me, to help others without expecting anything in return!". Plus, I am so impatient with people. The other day I was watching Discovery Health and they had a 31 YO man on there with a diabetic foot ulcer. Well, his toes turned black and he ended up having to have his lower leg amputated. Well, the first thing I thought was "How could he have been so stupid to not change his diet/habits before his foot rotted off??" But I really didn't feel too much empathy. Now, maybe I would in person, but this still worries me... In CNA clinicals I did feel bad for the LTC residents but I did not want to touch them or talk to them really. I felt so, so, so incredibly akward.
Should I just bail or give it some more time?? I swear this is the absolute last time I am going to wonder about this!!!!
And don't ask me to do what I "really want to do" cuz I don't have a clue there!:chuckle Seriously.
I know I can go BSN or MSN and go into research or something less hands on but with a personality this extreme as far as social interaction goes, do you think I can even get thru school??
I grew up in one of those families where we were kept isolated from the outside world (except school) until I went nuts as a teenager and broke away. I still have a lot of problems with people but I found that working in health care taps into a part of compassion and true interest in people that I knew was always there but was never able to express.
When I first started working as a CNA I had a horrible time, I was filled with dread all the time. After working for about a month and having pts. talk to me about their problems and their lives, and me listening and getting engaged I found it to be an incredibly rewarding experience.
You didn't say why you chose nursing school. It sounds like you are more interested in the cerebral part of it then the hands on. I think some of the OP gave good advice -- spend time working as a CNA to see if this is right for you. If it's not, then it's no big deal. Don't feel like a failure because you don't have that people personality. There are tons of people out there -- the majority -- that work in professions where they don't have to work so intimately with people. They do good things too.
It get's better the more you get into the program and the longer you're in nursing. I became very comfortable with people and communicating with them as years have gone by and I'm a 100% different person than the mousey, anxiety-ridden loner person I was when I started. I've changed and learned so much about myself, and I still am in that process 14 years later.
I did however, have a desire to help others, etc. I would think that unless you have a desire to nurse, which obviously you do, you would be doomed.
Good luck! All students are nervous about starting their clinicals, that's normal and it gives you a bit of an edge.
I am in some ways a fairly reserved person--not the touchy-feely sort at all, although I think I relate well to people as a listener. I'm definitely more of a handshake than a hug kind of guy.
I also had lots of anxiety in clinicals. The manual skills are tough enough, but add to that washing someone else's member or peering closely at their butt, and it can get a little overwhelming.
But I very much agree with those who suggest giving yourself some time. I very strongly believe introspection can be a source of empathy, and if you are as in tune with your own feelings as you seem, you'll probably be as perceptive with others. The object in a therapeutic relationship is not to let your heart break with every patient's, it's to be able to understand what they need and give it to them. You can love someone without "being in love" with them, and you can care for someone without really loving them.
You may find, as I have, that overcoming the awkwardness remains a challenge, even beyond school. It isn't easy to pull up the covers and examine the groin of a woman your mother's age. It isn't a bit easier if she's your sister's age.
You may also find, as I have, that maintaining objectivity and detachment are also challenging. I think the key to both is trying to always think of yourself as a professional.
We aren't examining people voyeuristicly, and if feeling their pain was all they needed, they wouldn't need us. They can feel their pain quite nicely for themselves.
The other thing I want to mention is that a lot of this gets to be fun. Trach suction always scared me to death. If you go that far, you'll see why. It justn't look right to stick that catheter down someone's windpipe "until it meets resistance." Do it wrong, and you can actually put their life at risk, too. Plus, the sound of mucus being suctioned makes me want to hurl. But doing it successfully is a blast!
In one of my clinical rotations, I spent most of my morning giving Depo-Provera injections. Depo-provera is a contraceptive. You give it, generally, to women of childbearing age. You can give it in the deltoid, but the clinic I was at only gives it in the dorsigluteal. I'm a middle aged bachelor. I like women of childbearing age, but, frankly, they scare me a little. Asking them to pull down their pants was not easy. Giving my first IM injections was exciting, but not remotely erotic. You have to find the site, inject, make sure to aspirate to ensure you didn't hit a blood vessel--oh, and don't forget to Z-track (so you have to touch an actual butt) and administer the med slowly and smoothly. I was literally halfway home, afterward, when it occured to me, "Hey, I saw butts. How about that?"
I might add that it took real restraint not to exclaim, "My God, that's HUGE!" on the first one. Not what any woman wants to hear when she's standing there with her pants down, but I doubt she'd have been relieved to know I meant the needle. An inch and a half doesn't sound like a lot, but it is.
Nursing needs caring, but I think it's actually hard work not to care. Nursing also needs perception, and honesty, and perserverance. If you have those, you'll find your caring.
I am in some ways a fairly reserved person--not the touchy-feely sort at all, although I think I relate well to people as a listener. I'm definitely more of a handshake than a hug kind of guy.
I also had lots of anxiety in clinicals. The manual skills are tough enough, but add to that washing someone else's member or peering closely at their butt, and it can get a little overwhelming.
But I very much agree with those who suggest giving yourself some time. I very strongly believe introspection can be a source of empathy, and if you are as in tune with your own feelings as you seem, you'll probably be as perceptive with others. The object in a therapeutic relationship is not to let your heart break with every patient's, it's to be able to understand what they need and give it to them. You can love someone without "being in love" with them, and you can care for someone without really loving them.
You may find, as I have, that overcoming the awkwardness remains a challenge, even beyond school. It isn't easy to pull up the covers and examine the groin of a woman your mother's age. It isn't a bit easier if she's your sister's age.
You may also find, as I have, that maintaining objectivity and detachment are also challenging. I think the key to both is trying to always think of yourself as a professional.
We aren't examining people voyeuristicly, and if feeling their pain was all they needed, they wouldn't need us. They can feel their pain quite nicely for themselves.
The other thing I want to mention is that a lot of this gets to be fun. Trach suction always scared me to death. If you go that far, you'll see why. It justn't look right to stick that catheter down someone's windpipe "until it meets resistance." Do it wrong, and you can actually put their life at risk, too. Plus, the sound of mucus being suctioned makes me want to hurl. But doing it successfully is a blast!
In one of my clinical rotations, I spent most of my morning giving Depo-Provera injections. Depo-provera is a contraceptive. You give it, generally, to women of childbearing age. You can give it in the deltoid, but the clinic I was at only gives it in the dorsigluteal. I'm a middle aged bachelor. I like women of childbearing age, but, frankly, they scare me a little. Asking them to pull down their pants was not easy. Giving my first IM injections was exciting, but not remotely erotic. You have to find the site, inject, make sure to aspirate to ensure you didn't hit a blood vessel--oh, and don't forget to Z-track (so you have to touch an actual butt) and administer the med slowly and smoothly. I was literally halfway home, afterward, when it occured to me, "Hey, I saw butts. How about that?"
I might add that it took real restraint not to exclaim, "My God, that's HUGE!" on the first one. Not what any woman wants to hear when she's standing there with her pants down, but I doubt she'd have been relieved to know I meant the needle. An inch and a half doesn't sound like a lot, but it is.
Nursing needs caring, but I think it's actually hard work not to care. Nursing also needs perception, and honesty, and perserverance. If you have those, you'll find your caring.
Here! Here! Nursemike, These are very good words. Read well and understand his last paragraph, you are hearing from those who have been there-done that. I love the quote:" It's actually hard work not to care". There is so much to learn that will really turn you on and excite parts of you that you will want to do more and more.When you see yourself mastering a skill and performing it well and you see the result in another human beings suffering...well it just doesn't get any better than that .
I am in some ways a fairly reserved person--not the touchy-feely sort at all, although I think I relate well to people as a listener. I'm definitely more of a handshake than a hug kind of guy.
I also had lots of anxiety in clinicals. The manual skills are tough enough, but add to that washing someone else's member or peering closely at their butt, and it can get a little overwhelming.
But I very much agree with those who suggest giving yourself some time. I very strongly believe introspection can be a source of empathy, and if you are as in tune with your own feelings as you seem, you'll probably be as perceptive with others. The object in a therapeutic relationship is not to let your heart break with every patient's, it's to be able to understand what they need and give it to them. You can love someone without "being in love" with them, and you can care for someone without really loving them.
You may find, as I have, that overcoming the awkwardness remains a challenge, even beyond school. It isn't easy to pull up the covers and examine the groin of a woman your mother's age. It isn't a bit easier if she's your sister's age.
You may also find, as I have, that maintaining objectivity and detachment are also challenging. I think the key to both is trying to always think of yourself as a professional.
We aren't examining people voyeuristicly, and if feeling their pain was all they needed, they wouldn't need us. They can feel their pain quite nicely for themselves.
The other thing I want to mention is that a lot of this gets to be fun. Trach suction always scared me to death. If you go that far, you'll see why. It justn't look right to stick that catheter down someone's windpipe "until it meets resistance." Do it wrong, and you can actually put their life at risk, too. Plus, the sound of mucus being suctioned makes me want to hurl. But doing it successfully is a blast!
In one of my clinical rotations, I spent most of my morning giving Depo-Provera injections. Depo-provera is a contraceptive. You give it, generally, to women of childbearing age. You can give it in the deltoid, but the clinic I was at only gives it in the dorsigluteal. I'm a middle aged bachelor. I like women of childbearing age, but, frankly, they scare me a little. Asking them to pull down their pants was not easy. Giving my first IM injections was exciting, but not remotely erotic. You have to find the site, inject, make sure to aspirate to ensure you didn't hit a blood vessel--oh, and don't forget to Z-track (so you have to touch an actual butt) and administer the med slowly and smoothly. I was literally halfway home, afterward, when it occured to me, "Hey, I saw butts. How about that?"
I might add that it took real restraint not to exclaim, "My God, that's HUGE!" on the first one. Not what any woman wants to hear when she's standing there with her pants down, but I doubt she'd have been relieved to know I meant the needle. An inch and a half doesn't sound like a lot, but it is.
Nursing needs caring, but I think it's actually hard work not to care. Nursing also needs perception, and honesty, and perserverance. If you have those, you'll find your caring.
It's very encouraging to read all these nurses working with their fears and difficulties and encouraging you to do the same. Just to add my 2 cents...I too grew up in a very dysfunctional, damaging family and for many, many years worked in jobs that isolated me from other people. Worked with depression and self hate for most of my "grown-up" life. I just finished nursing school yesterday (Yeah!!) and will be accepting a job at a pediatric hospital that's one of the best in the US. It's a real challenge for me because I was brought up to believe I was worthless, stupid and good for nothing. As a result I didn't really learn how to relate with people in a "normal" way. Instead, I kept to myself and became very introverted and a lone wolf. Still am and I still find it at times very difficult to just talk with people. Working with patients throughout clinicals was tough. What I learned was to focus on the patient's needs, what were they saying, what did they need. I, at times, would also just remind myself to communicate something to them about how they were doing, what their day looked like. That way I could get out of my own head and be helpful to them. This helped to reduce my anxiety and I found that people genuinely responded to me and I to them. I don't believe that as a nurse you need to be chatty or happy all the time with your patients. Rather, I think most patients respond to an authentic human presence and not a forced cheerfullness. Good luck with what ever you choose to do. It's a reall plus that you can look at yourself honestly.
Give yourself some time, you may find things change as you go through school. I'm not a people person either; I never go out of my way to touch people when I'm not in some type of nursing situation.
For clinical, it did take me some time to get used to the idea, however there was so much else to think about that I didn't have time to worry about it much. I'm perfectly comfortable dealing with people in the setting of the hospital, or the volunteer clinic, or whatnot but in my time off, I'm still me. Me the wallflower, little to no social life, etc. I don't think nursing school can change a person completely but it can help make you outgoing enough to get your job done.
Wow, good for you Gampopa! You are a success story for sure! Yeah, my therapist is telling me about something called "survivor guilt". It is a phenomona that occurs apparantly when you are more successful, or threaten to be more successful..emotionally or professionally, than your parents or other family (in my case). You tell yourself that because they did not succeed, you cannot, or if they are not happy, you cannot be. You deserve better, and think you know you do, but you keep sabotaging yourself. So........I hope I don't do that to myself. You give me hope; you crawled out of it to succeed!:balloons:
Good Luck with your new job, must be a great feeling (to soon be replaced with anxiety, I am sure!:chuckle )
It's very encouraging to read all these nurses working with their fears and difficulties and encouraging you to do the same. Just to add my 2 cents...I too grew up in a very dysfunctional, damaging family and for many, many years worked in jobs that isolated me from other people. Worked with depression and self hate for most of my "grown-up" life. I just finished nursing school yesterday (Yeah!!) and will be accepting a job at a pediatric hospital that's one of the best in the US. It's a real challenge for me because I was brought up to believe I was worthless, stupid and good for nothing. As a result I didn't really learn how to relate with people in a "normal" way. Instead, I kept to myself and became very introverted and a lone wolf. Still am and I still find it at times very difficult to just talk with people. Working with patients throughout clinicals was tough. What I learned was to focus on the patient's needs, what were they saying, what did they need. I, at times, would also just remind myself to communicate something to them about how they were doing, what their day looked like. That way I could get out of my own head and be helpful to them. This helped to reduce my anxiety and I found that people genuinely responded to me and I to them. I don't believe that as a nurse you need to be chatty or happy all the time with your patients. Rather, I think most patients respond to an authentic human presence and not a forced cheerfullness. Good luck with what ever you choose to do. It's a reall plus that you can look at yourself honestly.
After reading this post and through the many replies it is heartening to hear from people in our profession who recognize and validate our humanity. I myself decided to become a nurse after working in a clinic with nurses who I came to admire. They were nice, and I wanted to be like them. Sure, they were smart and they helped people too, but mainly they were nice. Most of the time it's really that simple. Who doesn't want to hang with people who are nice and treat you well?
I am by nature an observer and a loner. I whole-heartedly admit that nursing taught me a great deal about proper social interaction, and quite a few social skills where I was definitely lacking. My initial motivation for becoming a nurse was to become a better person; it had nothing to do with helping other people. Our life experiences are determined by the choices we make and our openness to being changed by the experiences. Study your intent, be open to growth. You can be a nurse. You can be anything.
There's a great deal to learn in becoming a nurse, as there is in any profession. But the motivation to learn, that's the trick. You sound as if you're on track. Good Luck!
Hi all!
I started NS a few weeks ago and have yet to start the clinical component. I find the information/lecture part of the class highly interesting, as I love to learn, especially about diseases/mental nervous, stuff like that. I am actually very pleasantly suprised at how interesting it is and how fast ten hours of strait lecture can be!!!:chuckle HOWEVER, and that's a BIG HOWEVER, I am seriously becoming concerned that my personality is not going to jive with nursing. I am not much a people person. I'm a talker, but I don't really like to be around people or have much desire in helping them. (bear with me here, OK ). I get very anxious when I start thinking about having to touch patients and talk to patients, and, well, basically relate to them in any way! My anxiety too at performing the skills and check offs in school is VERY high...(my hands shake, I get flushed, etc) The hands on aspect of nursing is very scary for me and I get super anxious just thinking about it! I have been struggling with depression and have been socially isolated up until NS, but really my personality has been this way all my life.
I have taken tests that tell me I am not good with people, am much of a loner. Do you think I could ever change this part of my personality or am I just swimming upstream here??Would I ever grow to enjoy nursing and truly be fulfilled by it? Psych nursing appeals but I don't know if that is just because I feel a little psycho right now.:rotfl:
Basically, if I am working against my personality, is there any way I can succeed or find a good "niche" in nursing or should I just cut my losses finally and get out and go into lab work or something?
I am just waiting for that light bulb to go off where I go, "WOW! This is really fulfilling for me, to help others without expecting anything in return!". Plus, I am so impatient with people. The other day I was watching Discovery Health and they had a 31 YO man on there with a diabetic foot ulcer. Well, his toes turned black and he ended up having to have his lower leg amputated. Well, the first thing I thought was "How could he have been so stupid to not change his diet/habits before his foot rotted off??" But I really didn't feel too much empathy. Now, maybe I would in person, but this still worries me... In CNA clinicals I did feel bad for the LTC residents but I did not want to touch them or talk to them really. I felt so, so, so incredibly akward.
Should I just bail or give it some more time?? I swear this is the absolute last time I am going to wonder about this!!!!
And don't ask me to do what I "really want to do" cuz I don't have a clue there!:chuckle Seriously.
I know I can go BSN or MSN and go into research or something less hands on but with a personality this extreme as far as social interaction goes, do you think I can even get thru school??
After reading this post and through the many replies it is heartening to hear from people in our profession who recognize and validate our humanity. I myself decided to become a nurse after working in a clinic with nurses who I came to admire. They were nice, and I wanted to be like them. Sure, they were smart and they helped people too, but mainly they were nice. Most of the time it's really that simple. Who doesn't want to hang with people who are nice and treat you well?
!
I totally know what you mean!! The think I most want to know when I meet new people is if they are nice!!! I mean I love smart people, educated people, folks who have top degrees, and enjoy reading Foreign Affairs magazine. But above all that, they have to be nice or I just won't like them. Of course I know not all people are nice but I can still choose to be around those who are no?
The best advise that I can give you is to get out. Nursing is 95% heart and 5% knowledge. If you do not love being around people than you need to find something that would suit your personality. Sorry to be so blunt but we have too many nurses now that are only in it for the money and job security and not for the love of nursing. :angryfire
If this were the case, then there would only be about 5 nurses in America. The love of nursing? I have met a few who actually would still be nurses even if they won a million dollars and didn't have to work for the rest of their lives. But to most of us, it's just a job. We go in, do what we do, and go home. People will get on your nerves (non-compliant patients, family members, doctors, other nurses) but you complete your tasks, try to make a sick person feel better and bring home a good paycheck. Some of the best nurses I've worked with are not very personable but are very detail-oriented and see their shift as a list of required tasks to complete. Their patients are very well cared for. I think it is unrealistic to expect all nurses to be gregarious people-lovers. We come in all personality types, just like in other jobs. You could work in the OR where your patients are zonked -- then you would just have to deal with grumpy doctors (but they are the most entertaining). That is definitely a more task-oriented position that requires less "heart" than floor nursing. You could work in Recovery where you take care of your patient after surgery and then send them back to the floor when they wake up. Outpatient surgery centers pay well and you just start IVs, assist the doctor, recover the patient and send them home. You aren't forming life-long friendships here, these people are customers and you serve them and say good-bye. If you really want to be a nurse, I encourage you to stick to it. Don't give it up just because you think you'll be expected to sit at the bedside and talk about WWII with some old man while giving him a back massage. Even the people-loving nurses don't have time to do this.
I totally know what you mean!! The think I most want to know when I meet new people is if they are nice!!! I mean I love smart people, educated people, folks who have top degrees, and enjoy reading Foreign Affairs magazine. But above all that, they have to be nice or I just won't like them. Of course I know not all people are nice but I can still choose to be around those who are no?
People that are sick, in pain, scared, vulnerable can sometimes be very nasty and demanding. Families of sick people can be very difficult to deal with. Overworked nurses, CNAs and doctors can get snippy. And if you read the weeding out thread on this forum you will find that nursing instructors can be truly dreadful human beings. Of course there are nice people out there. I hope to be one of them. But there are things that are outside our control and those are the "perks" that come with the job!
). I get very anxious when I start thinking about having to touch patients and talk to patients, and, well, basically relate to them in any way! My anxiety too at performing the skills and check offs in school is VERY high...(my hands shake, I get flushed, etc) The hands on aspect of nursing is very scary for me and I get super anxious just thinking about it!
I have been struggling with depression and have been socially isolated up until NS, but really my personality has been this way all my life. 
leopold
179 Posts
I grew up in one of those families where we were kept isolated from the outside world (except school) until I went nuts as a teenager and broke away. I still have a lot of problems with people but I found that working in health care taps into a part of compassion and true interest in people that I knew was always there but was never able to express.
When I first started working as a CNA I had a horrible time, I was filled with dread all the time. After working for about a month and having pts. talk to me about their problems and their lives, and me listening and getting engaged I found it to be an incredibly rewarding experience.
You didn't say why you chose nursing school. It sounds like you are more interested in the cerebral part of it then the hands on. I think some of the OP gave good advice -- spend time working as a CNA to see if this is right for you. If it's not, then it's no big deal. Don't feel like a failure because you don't have that people personality. There are tons of people out there -- the majority -- that work in professions where they don't have to work so intimately with people. They do good things too.