Nursing School vs. Family

nikkisn · Apr 30, 2010

well, i don't work but i do have an extra kid :uhoh3: , so i do know what it's like. it's hard but do-able. first off, accept help, it's hard and it's an adjustment but you'll get used to it! you are so lucky to have live in support, it makes a huge difference! i have a 2 and 5 year old and honestly i thought i would miss them sooo much more. it's true, nursing has to be the priority but your son will always be there. you'll just need to learn to study while he plays around you, that way you two will be together AND you'll be getting your work done. tell your parents how you feel and thank them...and then don't let being a burden consume your mind anymore! it's only 2 years (not even that if you have summers off!!) for the last year i pretty much have said goodby to my family that i don't live with, but you can never say goodby to those you live with, especially a demanding 3 year old...he won't let you =) it will be hard and at times you will cry but nursing school is soooo fun!!!! congrats and enjoy your time with your boy this summer!!

Intern67 · May 1, 2010

Anyways, my nursing advisor told me something the other day that truly upset me. She said "tell your family goodbye, and that you'll see them in two years. nursing school has to be #1 right now." I know a lot of people who work and have families that have gone to nursing school. How true is her statement? :]

What your nursing advisor stated is a well known expression and it is not to be taken literally. It applies more to young nursing students who are living at home or just stopped living at home.

The point is that nursing school is very demanding and you are going to be responsible for careful planning and setting priorities so you can be a nursing student and a mom.

Many of my classmates do it - you can do it too.

brownbook · May 1, 2010

Let me just say my adult daughter and grandson moved back with my husband and I. I feel so blessed to have my grandson live with me. Both my husband and I comment how boreing our lives would be without them here. I don't know your parents but talk to them, you might find they love having you and their grandson living with them. Many, most, nurses had children while going to nursing school. Don't let that teacher scare you!

NGeorgia · May 1, 2010

My school must be a lot diff than most! We only have class 2 or 3 times a week for 8 hours and I never hear anyone complain that they have no life or don't see their family.

allnurses Guide · May 1, 2010

By going to school and giving yourself a lasting career that can take care of both of you well into the future, you ARE making your child your #1 priority.

Lots of moms do this. Yes, it is hard. There is a lot of guilt. You may at times feel pretty torn in two directions. You will likely lack in sleep. You will be going to class and clinicals when he is sick instead of being home with him and this is going to be hard. He may at times beg you not to go to school and this too will be hard as you kiss him goodbye. You are going to at times have to say no when he wants to play and go study. And when your friends want to hang out you will at times have to say no and spend that time with your child. But in the end, you will be providing yourselves a better life with INCREASED likelihood that when you go independent again, you will be able to stay that way. Good luck. Don't look back.

chickapea · May 2, 2010

You will be busier and nursing school takes dedication, but you will still see your son and have quality time with him. I remember people saying the same thing to me and it felt horrible. I still spend lots of time with my family. I even made it away for the weekend somehow three times during the first semester. I never miss school though and always make sure I understand all the concepts and skills we are learning. You can be an awesome mom and successful nursing student... don't let anyone else tell you different. Good luck and enjoy it!

KristeyK · May 2, 2010

I have heard the SAME thing. My aunt, who is a nurse, and her niece, both had children while going to get their degrees said it is perfectly doable. (Her niece even just completed her MSN to become a NP while pregnant/with a newborn!) They said to expect to have to pass up on our football season tickets for a couple years, but otherwise I will be able to spend time with my family AND do well. It is all about time management and organization.

I will have to drive almost an hour to school, and my parents offered up front to keep our son for us so we do not have to stress about daycare, or what to do with him when he is sick. YAY! (Thus the reason for the hour long commute, otherwise I'd live MUCH closer to my school and my husband's work.) Feel the guilt when you need to then let it go. None of us can allow it to consume us. Plus, look at it this way, you KNOW the people taking care of your son love him unconditionally and will take great care of him while you are bettering both your life AND his.

suanna · May 2, 2010

I got married to my wife my junior year of BSN. She came with two daughters I think of as my own. Loved them and tried to spoil them as much as any student could. Honestly- I didn't get to see much of them- and I averaged 2 hrs of sleep a day until I quit working full time the second half of my senior year. Never let anyone tell you that your loved ones aren't important, but yes, nursing school will absorb much of your life for the next 2+ years. You will have to restrict your interaction with your son to a much smaller role than you may previously have enjoyed. Do you want to provide for him for the next 15-20 years? Do you want to set an example of earning a living while caring for others? Nursing is a pretty good choice. Please keep in mind that there will be other sacrifices in your nursing career- As a nurse I have missesd a lot of Christmas Mornings, Birthdays, First Communions, and Father's/Mother's Days. Please consider that before going on with your education. I know a lot of nurses who have given up thier career because they didn't want to work every other weekend, every other holliday, spend a year or two on midnights, and have to face "on-call" time, mandatory overtime, and the chance of bringing home a nasty bug from one of thier patients, all at the expense of thier families. There are other ways to make a living as a single mother that will not be as invasive to your home life. GOOD LUCK!!!

CBsMommy · May 2, 2010

I echo everything else said here. I am a single mom of a 3 year old little boy too, who doesn't have live-in help and I can tell you that it is possible to spend great quality time with your kiddo. For me, I treat nursing school like a full-time job. I leave my son in daycare from 8 - 4:30 Mon - Fri. During that time, I have school Monday - Wednesday from 9 - 1 and then I use the rest of my days to go home and study.

When I had early morning clinicals, I let my son stay at my Mom's house and, while I did miss him terribly, it was way worse for me than it was for him!

Finally, I always took Friday night off and my son and I spent quality time together and he got to choose the activities of the evening.

The times that it is hard (when he wants to cling to my leg and stay with me) I remind him that I am building a better life for the both of us and that I will come and pick him up early on that day (if I can). Even though he's three, he does understand. Good luck! This is doable and your kiddo will thank you in the long run!

sammiesmom · May 2, 2010

get ready to lose a lot of sleep! every minute counts when you start nursing school. no more dilly dallying around! that is my plan of attack when i start this fall because i will be keeping my full time job and still spend time with my family. i have a 16 month old daughter. good luck to both of us!

missdixie023 · May 2, 2010

Thank you to everyone who took time to reply to my post. I really appreciate the stories at tips. You all have made me realize that while it may be hard sometimes, I AM doing the right thing for me and my son. It's going to be a difficult couple of years but I CAN make time for both. I wish you all much success :]