Nursing school, no friends

RN OR DIE TRYING :0) · Mar 15, 2010

My recommendation would be to just stay focused on what's important.

I completely understand what you're talking about and I find it a little mind boggling that adults in college still act like that. It's just a bit "high school", if you know what I mean.

Keep your head high and focus on your studies.

You never know, one of them may one day come to you for assistance in something you aced but they were unable to grasp cause they were pre-occupied with planning their weekend's social events. :lol2:

Hang in there.

Nurse Joey · Mar 15, 2010

Hang in there. School is about learning to be a good nurse, not a good gossiper. Over time egos fade and your fellow nurses start to become like family, if only because you see them more than actual family.

aura_of_laura · Mar 15, 2010

Try getting involved with other school activities and organizations, think outside of the nursing program! It's nice to have friends in your program, but sometimes things just don't click, especially when you're at a different maturity level than most of your peers...

It sounds like you are lonely in general, what with being in a new city and all. If you're on Facebook or other social networking sites, see if your city has a page - I get updates from my favorite cafes, local shops, and music venues for fun community events where it's easy to meet new people. And don't underestimate the power of walking into a new place (a local coffeeshop comes to mind) and saying, "I'm new in town and don't know anybody... What's fun to do and where are the best places to meet people?"

sunnycalifRN · Mar 15, 2010

I also understand and sympathize with your situation. I was one of the oldest in my nursing class and had little in common with the younger students. However, being married with kids, socializing with my classmates was not high on my priority list. I did, however, find one "study partner" who I'm still friends with and we supported each other throughout the program.

You are just starting out so you may find some classmates that you can relate to. However, as the other poster said, concentrate on the program itself and don't get distracted by all the petty stuff that you will encounter. Best of luck to you.

StudentGrace · Mar 15, 2010

No worries, you will be fine. I am over 40 and even though there are students my age, most are much younger. While I do not have much in common with them, I find that I can socialize in school with them. They do not ask me to go out with them outside of school, which at first kind of made me feel weird, but then I also reminded myself I'm kind of beyond that and it doesn't really entertain me any longer to go out partying. Like the other poster stated, keep your focus on what really is important. If you are finding the lack of friends and socialism getting the best of you (and sometimes it will), find a club to join, a reading group at the library, or a craft class to attend. Sometimes one of these "non-nursing" events are a fun way to relax and get to know people beyond school.

ubcgirl · Mar 15, 2010

Thanks to everyone! That does make me feel better.... I feel like I haven't had time to seek out extracurricular things, but obviously I should raise that up on my priority list.

During my first degree, I lived in dorms and had a boyfriend the entire time, so it seemed like more of a community, whereas I haven't quite adjusted this new lifestyle yet, despite having been here since September.

Lovelymo79 · Mar 15, 2010

Hugs to you! While I have met two great friends in school, I'm the type either you love or hate me:lol2:. Seriously, focus on your school work is easier said then done..when you don't have anyone to vent to (no one outside of nursing school understands how hard it truly is!).

In order to make friends, one must show themself friendly. Granted, you're going to have some of those that are young and immature:uhoh3: and I know you said you are quiet (which some may mistake as being stuck-up or a loner). Maybe if there is one particular person there that seems cool, you may want to smile and start a conversation up. We have all had those hard exams..or a crazy instructor..maybe if you say something like "Wasn't that exam ridiculous" or something like that, you may be able to spark up a convo. Also, try to find out what other people's interests are outside of the school (which can be a little hard). If you share the same interest, that's also a leadway. I also agree with the poster that said to join some of the school's organizations.

No matter what, I wish you the best of luck. I can't imagine going through nursing school with my fellow friends!

greenfiremajick · Mar 15, 2010

I am in my first year of nursing school, although this is my second degree. I moved here from another city so I don't know anyone in the city other than the people I have met in nursing school. Most of my classmates are much younger than me (I'm in my late 20's). I did my best to make friends the start of the school year, but its not going so well. I am quiet, I work hard, but it seems quite a few students don't like me, and will be passive aggressive with me or just outright ignore my existence. I've given up on trying to have a social life with them outside of school (which is mostly because they've stopped inviting me out), but it does make class and especially group work uncomfortable. I am very careful about what I say, I do not think I am abrasive, I don't gossip.... I don't mind the aspect of studying for nursing school, and I love clinical, but I hate the social part. I don't know how to make friends outside of school (not that I would really have the time). This is a four year program and any advice on how to make it through would be great.

Just keep coming here, girl! We will give you support, as well as all kinds of crap (which is always a condition of support and sharing!!) :lol2:

iwanna · Mar 15, 2010

You are still young at 28. If they are fresh out of high school, chances are they are immature. My question is why would you want to hang out with them outside of school? You can make friends outside of school, there have been some good suggestions. You can do some social networking and find some groups in your new locale

If you have time to socialize outside of school, please do the social network. You may find some nursing students on facebook in your new community.

My daughter told me at work, there was a girl that nobody liked. My daughter asked why they didn't like her, and they all told her that she was a stuck up rich girl. Well, my daughter found out that she had a hard family life and was not a stuck up snob. Even my daughter didn't like this girl at first. However, when they were alone together in the break room, she got to know her better. She even considers her a friend now, and they went out one night. This girl is going to school to be a physician's assistant, and focuses on her studies as well. I believe the other girls may also be jealous of her.

Moogie · Mar 15, 2010

I agree with the above posters who gave excellent advice regarding getting used to living in a new community. You might not have as much time to get involved with the community as if you weren't in a nursing program, but you will have some opportunities to get to know others, both within your program and within your new locale.

During my AD and BSN programs, I felt a lot of camaraderie and had several good "foxhole" friends. We were all similar in age, had similar life experiences, and were going through the same challenges in our educational journeys. Years later, I started a grad program but found the experience to be very socially isolating because I was a commuter and most of the students lived in the area in which the school was located. Also, many were employed at the same medical center, so they already had strong bonds and many commonalities. I was older, a single parent, and lived 100 miles away, so I essentially had no social contact with any of my classmates at that time.

Life changed and I moved too far out of that area to complete the degree (and no online option was available) so I left that program and worked for a little while before deciding to go back to school. This time I chose a school that offers online classes and at first I expected that the online format would mean that I wouldn't get to know anyone else. I have been pleasantly surprised because I have met some amazing people and have started some friendships that feel a lot like those I had in my early years. I feel far more socially fulfilled in this program and it's a nice, but totally unexpected benefit to online education.

So I guess what I am saying is---you may find friendships where you least expect them! I hope all goes well for you and that you do find some like-minded peers in your program and some friends in your new community!

Guest 360983 · Mar 15, 2010

I've made some great friends by using Meetup.com. It's a collection of groups with common interests (like anime or writing or people who like going to ren fairs) and they meet in person. It might be good to give yourself a break from nursing once every couple of weeks.