Nursing Instructor Anger Management

[sarahky79]

I have a problem and I need some advice... I am a non traditional adult college student (I'm 39 years old). After raising my daughter, I felt it was time to go back to college and complete my nursing degree. Currently, I'm in the 4th semester of a ADN Nursing Program at a local community college. I'm supposed to graduate this coming May 2018 (only 3 or so months away).

The Spring 2018 Semester just began a couple weeks ago. Our instructors made it clear they didn't want to see anyone on their cell phones. If a student is caught on their cellphone in the middle of class, the student would be asked to leave. Today, I had our Pediatrics class, which is taught by my favorite instructor. Being the oldest student in the nursing class, I got a seat in the front row almost in front of the instructors desk. Before class was started, I turned my iPhone on silent and placed it in a pocket located on the bottom front of my shirt.

About 40 minutes or so into the class, I hear my phone alarming. I thought to myself, "Oh No! That's MY phone alarming! I know it was on silent, how can it still be alarming!?" I didn't know that, even if an iPhone is on silent, it will still alarm. So I grabbed my phone really quickly and pressed all the side buttons, praying one would shut off the alarm. As I pressing every single button on the sides of my phone, I glanced up and noticed my instructor giving me a look that, if looks could kill, I'd definitely not be breathing right now. My instructor put her hand out and I placed my phone in her hand. She uses my phone to point at me and say, "Next time I will ask you to leave!" I apologized and told her it wouldn't happen again. She walks over and places my phone on her desk. After a few minutes, it dawns on me that the alarm probably has "snooze" on so it was going to be alarming again soon.....and I was right! My phone did start to alarm again. I immediately attempted to explain to my instructor that, when my phone went off initially, it was an alarm and now it's alarming again due to snooze being on. I apologized to her again and told her she was more than welcomed to turn the entire phone off. Before I could finish my sentence, my instructor picked my phone up from her desk, grabbing it by a corner and threw my phone at me! Had I not caught it, it would've hit me pretty hard in my lower face and neck area. I was extremely surprised that the instructor had thrown something at me in anger. The entire class went very quiet. The instructor told us to take a short break.

I understand completely that I should've ensured that my phone was completely off. I wasn't texting or even looking at my phone. Had I been blantantly disrespecting my instructor, I could've somewhat justified what happened.

Now, I feel I will be targeted by this instructor. I have clinicals for 12 hours every Monday with the same instructor. I don't feel comfortable having clinicals with this particular instructor. She has failed students on the spot during her clinicals and I feel I will more than likely be one of the students she will fail this semester.

Does anyone have any suggestions??

[CelticGoddess, BSN, RN]

Just for the record..You can be an RN or LPN, and a student! I like this forum, but people can be a little too quick to judge and assume.

When someone is in their 4th semester of an ADN program, that person is NOT an RN and that is the point. It is against TOS (and illegal in most states) to use RN, LPN or nurse unless you are one of those. And that is the point.

[FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN]

Maybe it's because I work in mental health but I just can't see how a nurse could view someone throwing your phone to you, especially since you caught it, as an assault.

It was definitely rude. But assault?

Hyperbole is not your friend here.

Don't go running to her boss and there will be no target on your back.

It would be best if you could just take this as a lesson in cell phone alarms and keep it as a good story for allnurses topics like "What was the most bizarre thing that happened in nursing school" or "nursing instructor from hell stories".

But I sense that you can't do that.

So send the sandwich email and smooth it over as best you can.

Good luck.

[Hospcorp, RN, EMT-B]

You can be charged with a simple assault without ever hitting someone... Just saying. You can even be charged with assault for verbally threatening a patient, so..throwing something with the intention to injure would fall into that category. I wasn't there, don't know if it was thrown in anger, but I'm still shocked by the amount of people who think this is okay. I mean to each his own, but I feel like there would be a completely different response if the situation was at work, and the nursing supervisor threw a phone at a staff nursing during a staff meeting, But, because she's a student there is this attitude that this should be tolerated and endured. Anyway, I think the OP will not be back to respond, so I wish her the best!

[Oldmahubbard]

It is not OK! A lot of things happened to me in life, in other professions, and in nursing, that absolutely were not OK.

They were total BS.

But all these years, I have still had to make a life, and a living.

The standard to bring any type of legal charges is very, very high, and the law is always on the side of the higher status person.

The OP was not injured, so it is just not worth it.

Ok, I have said my piece.

[opalbee]

Maybe it's because I work in mental health but I just can't see how a nurse could view someone throwing your phone to you, especially since you caught it, as an assault.

She didn't throw her phone to her, she threw it at her.

Do you think that it wasn't "assault" because it didn't hurt OP? She stated that it could have hurt her if she had not caught it. What if we changed the perspectives a little bit..? If I threw my phone at my instructor at anger, do you think that she would see that as assault? Or what if I threw my phone at a patient in anger? Or my spouse? Or if I was a high school teacher, and I threw my phone at a student who was being unruly? How do you think his parents would see that?

Note- I'm no longer talking about what OP should do about the situation. I think perhaps other users are right, that maybe she shouldn't report the situation and make herself a target, that she should just focus on finishing up her 3 months. I don't know what the best way to handle this situation is, but she's gotten plenty of great feedback to make a good judgement. I also don't think that we should normalize the instructor's behavior because objectively, it was absolutely inappropriate and could've potentially harmed someone.

[Oldmahubbard]

Her instructor is definitely crazy, make no mistake.

But when I was a teacher 3 decades ago, trying to get my Masters in Education as required by my state, I encountered a crazy instructor in a summer session for teachers.

He didn't throw a cell phone at me, cell phones didn't exist.

He threatened not to give me credit in for the course, because I had missed a class. I was at a necessary job interview. He left a nasty message on my answering machine.

I went to the Dean to complain, and the Dean was completely on the side of the Professor.

I had to do whatever they said, or risk my entire career. I had to play nice. A few sexual metaphors are coming to my mind about the approach I had to take.

I had to be subservient and take whatever was shoved into my mouth.

A month later, the professor, who was in his 60's, fell apart in class, and started ranting and raving like a mad man. It was terrifying.

A bunch of people then went to the Dean.

I got my credit and went on with life.

The moral of the story?

You are a lowly student, or employee, and you can forget making any complaints, especially if you violated any rules.

I missed a class, and her cell phone was disruptive.

The experience was both traumatic and instructive.

[FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN]

She didn't throw her phone to her, she threw it at her.

Do you think that it wasn't "assault" because it didn't hurt OP? She stated that it could have hurt her if she had not caught it. What if we changed the perspectives a little bit..? If I threw my phone at my instructor at anger, do you think that she would see that as assault? Or what if I threw my phone at a patient in anger? Or my spouse? Or if I was a high school teacher, and I threw my phone at a student who was being unruly? How do you think his parents would see that?

Note- I'm no longer talking about what OP should do about the situation. I think perhaps other users are right, that maybe she shouldn't report the situation and make herself a target, that she should just focus on finishing up her 3 months. I don't know what the best way to handle this situation is, but she's gotten plenty of great feedback to make a good judgement. I also don't think that we should normalize the instructor's behavior because objectively, it was absolutely inappropriate and could've potentially harmed someone.

I don't think it was ok. It was uncivil, rude, nasty, imprudent. It was embarrassing, I'm sure. None of that is ok.

But just because it was not ok, does not mean it was an assault.

I don't believe there was an intent to injure. And I think an injury would be very unlikely. OP was sitting in the front row.

OP caught the phone. So the argument that the phone was thrown at OP is weak.

To clarify, yes, I would feel the same way if this happened at work.

An assault is something to be resolved by a judge. I think this doesn't really reach that level of severity and could be resolved by the parties, especially since there was some good feeling before the incident.

[K9lover, ASN, RN]

That is assault and if she did it to me I would have her angry, unstable *ss hauled of to jail. Seriously, she thinks she an throw phones??? I'd be more shocked if she did not remind me of a couple of nurse managers I have had.

I work in corrections and it is actually a felony to destroy property over $400 (which most phones are) even if only charged with a misdemeanor that would get her thrown out of teaching. She sounds as if she needs anger management and to be brought down a few notches.

Dad was a cop and he always advised me to utilize legal channels in matters such as this.

[K9lover, ASN, RN]

I think her best bet is discussing it to the police. The instructor can go on to discuss with the court how she thinks assault is acceptable.

Too many instructors and management believe this sort of thing acceptable. Nursing students have enough stress without angry, abusive instructors believing assault is acceptable.

[CardiacDork, MSN, RN]

Should be escalated. Looking back, idk why I put up with so much nonesense in nursing school.

I CANNOT stand nursing instructor bullies.

Nursing education needs to worry less about trying to seem all tough, and failing students for stupid crap.

Nursing education need to stop treating their students like slaves or pre-k students, surprise ... nursing students are paying YOU for a service.

Nursing education should focus amping up the curriculum itself and making nursing more about the science of the human body and diseased states, instead of all this nonsense sending students home for having white shoes with a discrete line of blu or black ... oh sorry they're not all white (no this didn't happen to ME, but I saw it happen and it's ridiculous!!!)

[Axgrinder]

I find it an odd trait in myself that I always try to justify bad behavior in others, perhaps it is my own short comings surfacing. Putting myself in your place I can see myself trying to give this instructor the benefit of the doubt, but also looking at this objectively from the outside my brain screams this was wrong. Had you been hurt then what?

Mistakes happen, and we don't always get to pick when or where they occur by the virtue that they are outside of our control. Sometimes as humans we have to acknowledge that and move on. Having a fit of unbridled anger and physically lashing out is not a mistake, it is a decisive action of choice.

Where to go from here is something I find I am at a loss to advise you on, because some really good advice has already been put forth - but I do want to say that no matter how bad of a day we have, or what is going on in our lives at any given moment there is a certain level of professionalism expected of us as nurses on the job, which your instructor was. Perhaps doubly so in regard to what is acceptable behavior for adults to adhere to in civilized society. Striking another person is outside of orthodox conduct no matter the circumstances, or who you are.

[Ambersmom, BSN, RN]

This has to be resolved or else your clinicals are going to be super awkward... I'd suggest going to your academic advisor as you may need to go up the chain of command for the complaint, at least thats what my college required you went to professor first, then chair of dept, then dean, they you could go to the chancellor. I would definitely bring this to the attention of someone soon, it will also provide a little protection against retaliation in clinicals. Good luck.