Terms we will not admit to using

Nurses Humor

Published

You all have heard of them and of course we never actually use any of these terms but somehow they are there and everyone knows them.......

There the "unofficial" abbreviation list

like

FLK Funny Looking Kid

or

Craft syndrome - Can't Remember A Flippin' Thing

PFO - clean version - Potted (Drunk) and Fell Over

AHD - Acute Haloperidol Deficit

Or the pseudomedical jargon for describing patient peculiarities i.e.

Mononeuronis Asynapsis

Acute Pneumoencephalopathy (thanks TeeitupTom)

Acute Hyponicotaemia (busting for a cigarette)

Does anyone know anymore??

Okay can anyone add to this list

Specializes in OR, OB, EM, Flight, ICU, PACU.......

Some of mine:

HSLT- High Speed Lead Therapy (from a chart I saw when I was on Active duty)

DFO-Done Fell Out.

DFOIC-Done Fell Out In Church.

SPAK- Status Post A** Kicking.

CODS- Cause of Death, Stupidity.

Geosphere- Dirt Ball.

HARM- Human Attempting to Reach Maker.

Chrome Induced Ischemia- Chest pain after being arrested/handcuffed.

HDST- High Dose Slap Therapy.

DBI-Dirt Bag Index(see tooth-tatoo ratio)

Law of Innverse Worth- the more worthless to Society the person is, the more

Trauma they can survive without sequela.

and my favorite--- SOCMOB-Standing on the Corner Minding own Business.(usually occurs shorly before being shot, stabbed, beat up by "some Dudes".)

"and now for something completely different!"

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CTD: circling the drain.

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Stop and Drop -- mother shows up (usually with no prenatal care) in VERY advanced labor.

Needs to go see Jesus ---- baby has no hope; should be let to pass peacefully

DFO --- done FLOPPED out; baby has suddenly become limp and unresponsive

Splash Down -- baby born in a toilet

A cover-up --- linen needed to changed but the previous nurse just put a blanket over the spit-up, urine, etc

Buggerectomy ---- removing a "Bugger" from a baby's nose or back of mouth

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Buggerectomy

and Feather Count - measure of skin flakiness (e.g. high feather count)

:D

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Specializes in mental health + aged care.

Adiposity+++

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cell by cell skin closure, for the surgeons that take forever to close -

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In our office we use the diagnosis code for rectal pain as an alert message for patients that are difficult.

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Specializes in mental health + aged care.
In our office we use the diagnosis code for rectal pain as an alert message for patients that are difficult.

So what happens if they really do have rectal pain?

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Specializes in 6 yrs high-risk OB.

dump and run's - when family leaves a LOM/LOL who is "acting off" and leaves as quickly as possible. Often happens around holidays.

ABT (arms broken too) - patient comes in for something totally unrelated to their arms/hands, but suddenly they cannot feed themselves, pour water, wipe their own rears, hold urinal, etc.

5150 - the code for someone who has been baker acted

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Psych, Tele, ICU.

We have used AVD=acute vistaril deficiency, Vit A deficiency=in need of some ammonia or my personal favorite, used by paramedics dropping off a patient in the ER(when describing the family) "they have acute attacka lawdy's with junctional jesus's".

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One of the nurses wrote "Has ***** drainage." That was on a male patients chart. Correct is purulent. Also best I ever saw (or saddest) "Patient stopped breathing X 10 minutes. Tolerated well." Lord help us all!

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Specializes in LTC.

NO new order

zero ASE- adverse effects

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