Surprise!?!?!!

Nurses Humor

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Thought this might kinda' be a fun and interesting topic.

What is the most "interesting" or weird object/thing that a patient has lost/lodged/stuck in an orifice? I know there's got to be some good stories!

I have a good one involving a baby bottle nipple...;-)

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Specializes in Critical Care.

Shampoo bottle in rectum that they "fell on" in the shower. Seriously, if I had a dollar for every FO that pt's "accidentally" fell on I'd be rich.

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Specializes in ER.

Rectum: 3 golf balls, 2 Bartlett pears, Coke bottle, Large can of Scrubbing bubbles, splinters left from ladder back chair, gear shift knob, a number of vibrators.

lady parts: light bulb (unbroken)

member/urethra: Glass thermometer, BB's inserted into urethra.

Large Craftsman wrench (the kind with the open wrench on one side and closed one on the other side a little bigger than a quarter) stuck near the shaft of the member. Required fire dept "special tool" to cut through that one!!

Wrapped around scrotum: Very thick brass ring = Versed, urologist, and a special saw. Ouch!!

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Specializes in MDS/ UR.

Glass pop botle.

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Specializes in Med/Surg,Cardiac.

Not as surprising as just disgusting: rotting tampon. Ugh the smell still haunts my poor nose. I'd rather smell a GI bleed on a cdiff pt :/

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Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.

at this level, here goes my :twocents::twocents: cents...a pt. walked into ed one slow evening c/o supposedly of abdominal pain. however, now behind close doors and further into examination the pt. confessed that it had been several days he hadn't gone to the bathroom, due to a battery operated sexual stimulation phallus known as the french tickler :uhoh21:. the pt. informed us that it had gotten inserted via his rectum by "mistake pure accidental" and he had tried everything possible to see if would come out on it's own. lastly, the doctor at ed was furious and he asked the pt. "were you waiting till the batteries went dead in order to come to the er?"

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Specializes in Trauma, Critical Care.

I said this in a diff thread, but I've seen a guy who repeatedly stuck Nerf footballs up his rectum and had a guy fall off his lawn mower to be impaled in the rectum with a piece of metal piping.

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Specializes in IMC.
Rectum: 3 golf balls, 2 Bartlett pears, Coke bottle, Large can of Scrubbing bubbles, splinters left from ladder back chair, gear shift knob, a number of vibrators.

lady parts: light bulb (unbroken)

member/urethra: Glass thermometer, BB's inserted into urethra.

Large Craftsman wrench (the kind with the open wrench on one side and closed one on the other side a little bigger than a quarter) stuck near the shaft of the member. Required fire dept "special tool" to cut through that one!!

Wrapped around scrotum: Very thick brass ring = Versed, urologist, and a special saw. Ouch!!

OUCH! I am wondering how they got there in the first place! A pear?! :eek:

A wrench? Yikes!!!!:confused:

People do some weird things to their bodies!

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

Lamp pull chains, a carrot, a toothbrush, glass pipette...vibrator of varying types. Light bulbs, a flurry of the furry about 20 years ago. Various veggies and vibrating balls.....that needed battery changes. :no:

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Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.

here's another full moon ed visit, a recent married couple were at their honeymoon in a near by hotel since they couldn't afford a cruise or something in that nature. needless to say, they were both very nervous and upon answering the questions at triage it was discovered that as they made love they got the idea of spicing things up a bit, like using whipped cream etc. well things went wrong pretty fast when they couldn't retrieve an jumbo strawberry from the females lady parts, and so happened that one of our resident doctor was working that evening, who is known for her dry sense of humor. once everything was retrieved and done, our resident said without missing a beat "next time eat your strawberry short cake on the platter" :eek:

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Specializes in Med/surg, Quality & Risk.

A metal tent stake. A cassette tape. A nail polish bottle (the x-ray showed the little metal bb's in the bottom of the bottle lmao)

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Specializes in MS, ONCO, Geriatrics, HH, HS.

while working in longterm facility a resident was found to have a sippy cup (the two handle each side kind) stuck so far up her lady parts dr couldn't reach with gloved fingers! He had to use forceps! Then when cup was removed sittin on surgical tray the dr turned away for a moment and it disappeared! Yep right back in her....um cubby hole!

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