Stupid things said by your non-nurse significant other - page 9

This thread is started in honor of my darling husband, who told me this morning that he almost woke me early because he had a bowel obstruction. I said, "A bowel obstruction? Really? Tell me... Read More

  1. by   Just a Dose
    I was talking to my friend after my son and I had a really bad stomach virus. She said, "my pharmacist tells me to always keep a suppository of Phenergan handy - which at first is great advice for just nausea... but her rational was that "it absorbs the virus in your colon."
  2. by   Just a Dose
    Gess - little do they know. The same friend I posted about keeps telling me that "Your going to be bored as a nurse cuz your so smart" - implying what exactly? Nurses don't really have to think much? No so funny. If only she knew.
  3. by   bren1598
    My little brother, a physics major, one time said to me "I could never be a nurse because I want a job where I have to think." You'd better believe I just about socked him in the face. Pretty sure that wasn't how he intended it to come out, so I let it pass...
  4. by   carolcowanrn
    I wrote the following to a friend yesterday - it applies (loosely).
    My "dealbreakers" are a lot better than Dr Phil's.

    You're entitled to end your marriage when:

    Your husband only buys you presents from the dollar store.
    He tells the maitre'd at a nice Italian restaurant that his spaghetti sauce (Hunts - 98 cents a can) is better than theirs.
    You find out he was a mortician for 10 years before you met him.
    He installs a full length mirror one foot from the front of the toilet.
    He announces 12 years into your marriage that he's switched to the Republican Party and George Bush was the best president we ever had.
    He decides it's time to downsize from a 4 bedroom house to a "double-wide".
    He donates your cherished heirlooms to Goodwill.
    He says you only need 3 channels on the television.
    He calls every female in the world "hon" but you.
    He tells you to sit down because he wants you to hear it from him first, "I felt dizzy yesterday".
    He goes to 17 doctors in a row to find out why he's had "ringing in his ears for the past 24 years" and they blow him off.
    You see him outside wearing knee pads, goggles, work gloves, velcro shoes, a respirator, and a huge hernia belt over his clothes to rake leaves.
    He tells your kids, "Did you know your mother is the Anti-Christ because she has three 6's in her Social Security Number"?
    Whenever you have an argument, he sleeps at his mother's house - which is where you found him in the first place.
    He's too cheap to pay $5.00 for caller ID.
    and the only one in the house who can stand him is the dog.

    The divorce was final a year ago!
    . Carol

    (addendum: I offered to draw a tube of blood from his arm and drop it off at the lab so he wouldn't have to take time off work. I didn't even need a tourniquet. Five cc's later he's ready to pass out and moaning about feeling weak. "Did you have to take a pint?" I told him 5 cc's is a teaspoon. He says, "Fine, next time I'll have a REAL NURSE do it".)
  5. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from carolcowanrn
    i wrote the following to a friend yesterday - it applies (loosely).
    my "dealbreakers" are a lot better than dr phil's.

    you're entitled to end your marriage when:

    your husband only buys you presents from the dollar store.
    he tells the maitre'd at a nice italian restaurant that his spaghetti sauce (hunts - 98 cents a can) is better than theirs.
    you find out he was a mortician for 10 years before you met him.
    he installs a full length mirror one foot from the front of the toilet.
    he announces 12 years into your marriage that he's switched to the republican party and george bush was the best president we ever had.
    he decides it's time to downsize from a 4 bedroom house to a "double-wide".
    he donates your cherished heirlooms to goodwill.
    he says you only need 3 channels on the television.
    he calls every female in the world "hon" but you.
    he tells you to sit down because he wants you to hear it from him first, "i felt dizzy yesterday".
    he goes to 17 doctors in a row to find out why he's had "ringing in his ears for the past 24 years" and they blow him off.
    you see him outside wearing knee pads, goggles, work gloves, velcro shoes, a respirator, and a huge hernia belt over his clothes to rake leaves.
    he tells your kids, "did you know your mother is the anti-christ because she has three 6's in her social security number"?
    whenever you have an argument, he sleeps at his mother's house - which is where you found him in the first place.
    he's too cheap to pay $5.00 for caller id.
    and the only one in the house who can stand him is the dog.

    the divorce was final a year ago!
    . carol

    (addendum: i offered to draw a tube of blood from his arm and drop it off at the lab so he wouldn't have to take time off work. i didn't even need a tourniquet. five cc's later he's ready to pass out and moaning about feeling weak. "did you have to take a pint?" i told him 5 cc's is a teaspoon. he says, "fine, next time i'll have a real nurse do it".)
    [font="comic sans ms"]sounds like cause for celebration! you're better off without him!
  6. by   Moogie
    Quote from kchandler76
    I'm not a Nurse yet still working on pre-reqs for the program however I do medical billing and have scattered useful medical knowledge. My DH was having groin pain so he came to the Urgent care clinic where I did medical billing. I asked him what the Dr said was wrong and sarcastic him said "I have a leaky gasket" I'm a whiz with medical terminology and translated dumb husband to "The Dr. told me I have a hydrocele in my testicle" and when he had the hydrocele repaired I let him drive himself so I wouldn't have to fight with him since he thought he could drive himself there and back and just picked him up after the surgery was over. I know he's said other dumb stuff and I know there is more to come as I go thru school and my future career.
    Oh, I wish I could be your skills lab instructor. A couple of years ago, when I taught clinicals and skills lab, the students each had to take home a Foley. Now, I don't know why they had to take home Foleys. I mean, what were they supposed to do with them?

    Well---apparently a couple of my creative students told their husbands or boyfriends that they were supposed to PRACTICE catheterizing them. I would have LOVED to have seen the expressions on those guys' faces! (One student really had her boyfriend going and he honestly thought she was going to put a urinary catheter in him.)

    Please, please promise me you will pull this stunt on your husband when you're learning urinary catheterization in skills lab!
  7. by   Brikkz
    This isn't by my SO/DH but this is from a relative. This person said they are going to school to be a nurse but they said i nthe same breath "But I am not going to wipe any butts or mess with puke"
  8. by   knzaku
    I didn't see any humor in any of these comments at all except ignorance in the posting! You don't expect people who aren't nurses or medical experts to understand and discuss medical issues like you do. You too make funny comments on other fields everyday but you don't realize. The title "stupid things said by..." is even hilarious!! You think your spouses are fools and you are the nerd? If only we can be sensitive to different backgrounds and occupations then we will understand that our relatives and friends don't have to be medics
  9. by   obicurn
    "If only we can be sensitive to different backgrounds and occupations then we will understand that our relatives and friends don't have to be medics."

    Kind of on the same note, if we all could try to have a little less stick up our butts, we could share little things that make us giggle without being bashed. Lighten up. This is a fun thread!
  10. by   knzaku
    Ha Ha! Now thats funny! I should confess that I am against the term "stupid". Fun works for me!
  11. by   Bubbles_RN
    Ummm I convinced a friends signifigant other that his cramps were really ovarian pains......which he promptly reported to my friend (also a nurse).......oh dear we laughed until we cried over that one........
  12. by   chelynn
    Quote from knzaku
    I didn't see any humor in any of these comments at all except ignorance in the posting! You don't expect people who aren't nurses or medical experts to understand and discuss medical issues like you do. You too make funny comments on other fields everyday but you don't realize. The title "stupid things said by..." is even hilarious!! You think your spouses are fools and you are the nerd? If only we can be sensitive to different backgrounds and occupations then we will understand that our relatives and friends don't have to be medics
    Why are you even on this thread? We in the professsion love to find humor in what we do on our OFF time. Are you so hardened and cynical that you can't appreciate that? I'll tell you what I (jokingly) love to tell my DH, "Mind you're business!"
  13. by   meintheUSA
    Quote from knzaku
    I didn't see any humor in any of these comments at all except ignorance in the posting! You don't expect people who aren't nurses or medical experts to understand and discuss medical issues like you do. You too make funny comments on other fields everyday but you don't realize. The title "stupid things said by..." is even hilarious!! You think your spouses are fools and you are the nerd? If only we can be sensitive to different backgrounds and occupations then we will understand that our relatives and friends don't have to be medics
    YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID ......:bowingpur

    (Just laugh at it and it WON't go away)

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