Share Your Funniest Patient Stories...

Nurses Humor

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We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2:

Here's mine...

I keep remembering a particular incident a few years back. It wasn't even my patient.

I was heading down the hallway on the CCU unit in which I worked. I was minding my own business, heading down the hallway and I just happened to glance into a patient room...

I couldn't believe what I saw...

An older gentleman, who clearly was having some post-op dementia after open heart surgery....

he was sitting up in the middle of his bed and with knees bent and feet braced at the bed rail for extra support....

With both hands...

HE WAS PULLING on all of his CHEST TUBES with ALL OF HIS MIGHT!!!

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Needless to say, I sprang into action along with all the surrounding nursing staff. It took security along with all of us to restrain this man so he wouldn't hurt himself. Though it wasn't funny at the time....I can't get this picture out of my mind and find it amusing to remember.

What's your story?

Worked in LTC, had a very confused LOL who had forgotten her husband had been dead for many years. She would talk to him, and of course when she got no answer, she would say "You SOB! You can hear me, but you won't answer me!" When I told her that her husband was in heaven, she replied, "He won't be there long!"

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Specializes in PeriOperative, Endoscopy, Hospice.

I was working in the Endoscopy room helping with a lower endo. Well, the dr put a biopsy forcep thru the scope and asked the asst. to 'OPEN'. The patient promptly opened his mouth.:lol2: The the dr said 'CLOSE' and the pt. did.:lol2: Love that Versed!

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Specializes in PeriOperative, Endoscopy, Hospice.

I went to an AORN conference a few years ago. A urologist shared some slides of a little Mexican boy with 2 memberes. He named one, Jose. The other was Hose B. :lol2:

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:chuckle My story happened a couple of years ago when I was a CNA on a tele. floor and several of us were sitting around the nurses station just winding down the shift. We were sitting next to the tele. monitors when a patient rang in and on speaker we heard him say in a loud and pitiful voice "can you send my nurse in - I'm having pain!"... To that the monitor tech inquired "where are you having pain?" .. and the patient replied in all seriousness

"in 221" !!

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Specializes in Surgical Nursing, Agency Nursing, LTC.

This was a weird incident when I was an CNA on a labor/delivery floor. We had a patient that came onto the floor beginning the laboring process. We took her to the room and asked her to undress into a gown and the MD would come in to check her. When the MD came in to lady partslly check her... he pulled back the sheet and saw the tatoo on the lady partslly area with the words,"Man's best friend" and her privy parts had an earring:uhoh3: . Talk about a quiet moment in the room.

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Specializes in Tele, ICU, ER.

Just remembered this one from a couple years back.

Had two patients in rooms next to each other. Both were in for a few weeks and neither was ambulatory. The Lady tended to be on the call bell often for this or that - nothing horrid and she was nice but got pushy and demanding at times. The Gentleman in the next room had a habit of ignoring his callbell and just shouting NURSE at the top of his lungs when he wanted something, to the point that his wife would tell him "now you leave that nurse alone, you can move your own foot 2 inches over!" She wasn't around at night.

Both rooms were right by the nurses station. One night they'd both been dinging/yelling off and on, especially the gent. Finally, the Gent shouted NURSE again one more time (he'd been checked on not 5 minutes before) and before we can even move, our Lady in the next room screams SHUT UP ALREADY. Then the Gent shouts HELL NO! YOU SHUT UP. and the Lady shouts I'LL MAKE YOU SHUT UP! (at this point we're simply dying at the station. He shouts back LET'S SEE YOU GET UP AND COME IN HERE! and so on till we finally quit laughing and calmed them both down. Mind you, they'd never laid eyes on each other.

I'll never forget those two LOL.

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Specializes in LTC, MSP, ICU.

Right now I am a CNA in a nursing home( until I graduate this spring). A couple of years ago, I had a very elderly lady age: 103. She couldnt sleep. So as I sat down talking to her she asked "Are there any old people in here?" I replied Yes M'am. I have a patient who is 103 years old. After a gasp and horrible look of disgust, she said "Oh, good Lord! Dont she have the sense to just go on and die?" Never realizing she was talking about herself. Now she is 105, I guess she never did take her own advice.

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I work as a Home Health Nurse . I was talking to a pt's husband . when she told me to keep my" hands out of her cookie jar ,"

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Specializes in Orhto, med/surg.

While transferring a drunk pt who was slurring his words, the pt said "Look at all of these beautiful nurses... I'm gonna get laid". (Did I mention I am hard of hearing too?). So I said.. "Hey.. we don't talk like that around here". So he said "What??" So I said.."No one is getting laid around here". After gasping in shock.. he replied.. "I said I've got it MADE". All of the other nurses laughed, I turned bright red, and luckily the pt saw the humor in this whole thing.

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Specializes in ER,ICU,PEDS ER.

:smilecoffeecup: Working in a pediatric ER can be challenging ,not only to get the kids to do what you want, but, also dealing with the parents. These parents see us hold down their child to start IV's and do other procedures. One night I had a 3 year old boy who was very dry, and needed fliuds. He was a fighter, and it took 5-- count'em 5 nurses to hold him down. We got the IV and bloods on the first stick. After labeling all of the blood, and sending to lab, I went in to hang the fluids. He then announced to me "Lady... my daddy is gonna whip your butt". We all laughed and the dad seemed to be shrinking!!!!!!! :chuckle

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Specializes in Medic, ER, Flight, ICU, Onc.

My favorite was the pt who had a rollover ATV accident and needed a splenectomy. His mother didn't speak much English and apparently didn't grasp my explanation of her son's injuries. I came to full realization of this when his sister called. He was still intubated and couldn't talk, but indicated it was ok for me to talk to her. I told her he was going to be fine, to which she replied, "Well, I don't know how you can say that when he'll never walk again." I replied that he would be able to walk and she said, "How is that possible without a spine????"

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Specializes in TCU,ICU,OHRR,PACU,5Solid Organ Transplan.

I was a nursing assistant on TCU while in school. I was bathing a man who was unresponsive. The word was "He" was already gone. Things went great!.......Until. I began washing "P" and "The boys" when he got an erection! I was sooo excited!!! You see, at that moment I thought they were all wrong! He was alive!! Guess what.....He had an implant.

I swear this is true.

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