Share Your Funniest Patient Stories...

Nurses Humor

Published

We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2:

Here's mine...

I keep remembering a particular incident a few years back. It wasn't even my patient.

I was heading down the hallway on the CCU unit in which I worked. I was minding my own business, heading down the hallway and I just happened to glance into a patient room...

I couldn't believe what I saw...

An older gentleman, who clearly was having some post-op dementia after open heart surgery....

he was sitting up in the middle of his bed and with knees bent and feet braced at the bed rail for extra support....

With both hands...

HE WAS PULLING on all of his CHEST TUBES with ALL OF HIS MIGHT!!!

giphy.gif.540a285eddb8d014dd82b5c46a5a5c08.gif

Needless to say, I sprang into action along with all the surrounding nursing staff. It took security along with all of us to restrain this man so he wouldn't hurt himself. Though it wasn't funny at the time....I can't get this picture out of my mind and find it amusing to remember.

What's your story?

Specializes in Me Surge.
nursetrese said:
I was a nursing student when this little man asked me to put him on the bed pan.. so I did this with ease and told him I would return...to this day I still don't know why the hell I put both side rails down to remove him from the bed pan... I gently push him on his side all the while saying " a little farther,,,a little farther......until you guessed it.....I pushed him right off the other side.... immediately I panicked and thought about running out of the room.....( I could see my licence being ripped apart).. as I am heading for the door he yells out " Teresa help me up" OMG now he knows who I am......so I go back to the bed and put both side rails up.... Then I go to the other side of the bed where the patient is on the floor and as god as my witness I scream the loudest scream of my life when I looked down on the floor and saw this little naked man with no legs...........I screamed " where are your legs"""" and he screamed " Vietnam""" I swear to god I thought I broke them both off in the fall.......then the teacher comes walking in... sees the patient on the floor,,, both side rails up and says " what happened here"? I looked her straight in the eye and said " you know how double amputees are? they are wiggley..... I think he wiggled through the bars....... yes I said it....

First, when a patient falls you run toward them not away from them. Second, when you make a mistake you own it. Admit it and devise a plan not to make that same mistake again. As nurses we have all made mistake at one time, but the outcome depends on that nurse admitting the mistake and taking appropraite action.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Sue7573 said:
speaking of pt's farting. I have always held pride in the fact that I can hold my composure when something like that happens for the sake of the pt. One morning I was changing a really big man, that could not roll himself I was log rolling him and had his brief ready and moved in to make the change as fast as I could (for his comfort) I was leaning in to wash him up in the same motion I was log rolling him which put my face only inches away from his bottom by the time he got on his side. I know that he didn't mean too but he let one rip, and I felt the air on my face and It surprised me, and that particular gust was one of the foulest and before I knew I had said "wheeww oh my lawd, bud". He started laughing and pooting everytime he pooted he laughed harder and on the circle went till the two of us was crying from laughing so hard. He and I both apologized at the same time, and got our composure back. He will still get tickeled when he sees me in the hall or something.

Sue

I am crying I am laughing so hard!!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I work in LTC, a resident continued to find ways to scratch his self always needing steri strips or band aide, followed by an incident report. Anyways, he scratched his elbow one night and he was wondering the halls about 2 am, I said " OH MR, you are bleeding" Yes, I know, I want a band aide. Please follow me so we can report this to your nurse. As we approched the nurse station, I said "Stay there, I need to get Brandy", (the nurse) The manager was sitting there and heard him say, "Well, h*ll A cigarette would be nice, I dont think I need any BRANDY!!!!

Same LTC facility, A confused women that at times got violent was up heading to the bathroom when the Aide heard her bed alarm going off and asked her" miss D, What are you doing?" , "oh honey, I was aimin' to change my underpants, I started my menstration" she said...

The aide attempting to re-orient her says, " miss D. How old are you? " "I am 89 years old" GUESS I wouldnt be havin' my menstration.... Would I?"

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×

LTC facility, had a little old lady, 100 years old weighing about 80lbs, she would sleep for two days and would be up for two days, by night two she would be so tired and she would wonder the halls yelling "how much are the rooms?" We would say they are free! How much? They are free! Honey I can hear you talking, but, I can not hear what you are saying.... ( she was hard of hearing, wouldnt try to read lips)

The same little old lady night two no sleep... Wondering around doing the same thing asking about the rooms, we try to distract her with laundry out of the aides carts to see if it would keep her occupied. She would get bored soon, So we put her to bed, some times this would work, She would ask how much are the rooms, I said 20$, how much, I got down to her ear 20$ dollars, How much 20$, OH my.... Dont you think you ought told me that be for you put me to the bed???? OH MR. Haines is not going to like this, He is not going to like this at all.. . So, there we go, another 6 hours of her wondering from room to room, asking how much are the rooms tonight....

Same old lady.... in bed was asleep, checked on q2hrs, ( on the second night she slept hard, she never got up or tried to until she slept her two days and nights) suddenly her bed alarm went off, walked into the room and she is standing up next to her bed in a squatting position. Mrs. H what are you doing?? she looks down and says " I am pi**ing, whats it look like? "lol, I miss that old lady..... tons of stories to tell about her.....

Same lady, the night she was supposed to be sleeping she was sqatting by the bed again, Mrs. H, what are you doing?? Im a layin' my eggs......

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Oncology, Cardiology, ER, L/D.
MamaTheNurse said:
oh yeah - OB is great - my husband misses the stories that I came home with when I worked in OB

we had a patient come in to deliver with a tatoo just above her pubic hair that was the word "C**T" and below it was an arrow pointing down towards said body part - the OB who did her delivery was quite amused and said "How dumb are the guys that she's fooling around with that she has to provide them with directions to where they need to go?" I said "Well, obviously one was smart enough to follow the directions...." :rotfl: :rotfl:

Oh man, that is one classy broad!:chuckle

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×

:nurse: ]My friend M.D. and I were working the night shift together. Our L&D unit was relatively busy. Both of us had laboring patients without epidurals. We had given our patients IV analgesia and back rubs to help with their pain, but the meds had little effect. It seems that both of our patients were quite vocal during their labor experience despite our best efforts to keep them comfortable. They could be heard not just down the hall, but over the entire unit, yelling, hooping, and hollering in unison!

]Anyone who has ever worked nights (in any department !) knows how slap happy silly you can get when you are sleep deprived in the middle of the night.

]After hours of simultaneous screaming and yelling by our two patients q. 2-3 minutes, and exhausting our resources in attempts to make them as comfortable as possible, we looked at each other (in our lounge)....began to smile, then laugh, covered our ears and exclaimed: "Oh, my goodness, THEY ARE SCREAMING IN STEREO!" Laughter erupted throughout the staff and we have never forgotten that moment! :chuckle :roll

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×

Psych ward...a group came in and set up refreshments. A new nurse is in line to get some punch. A patient comes up behind and grabs her breast. She yells "Hold it!" Not the best choice of words in a room filled with first and second year residents in psychiatry and about 10 psych techs.

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×

While I was doing my L&D rotation I was paired with a 'slightly' ditzy classmate who sometimes spoke before thinking. Together we were hooking up a new admit to monitor for FHT's.....classmate asked.."why do you have a mole tattooed on your belly?"......pt. replied "It's a mouse." :chuckle :chuckle

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I worked in long term care as a RN for 8 years, and many more as a cna before that. I have seen and heard many very funny things. One particular story comes to mind. I was working on an intermediate care unit, and most of the patients could do for themselves, but most weren't necessarily orientated. There were two women who were room mates, and often bickered back and forth. One day, they were having a pretty heated discussion in the lobby. One of the ladies finally walked away from the other and came to me at the nurses station. She proceeded to tell me that the other lady needed to be put in a home. I didn't know quite what to say.:chuckle

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×
loriannlpn said:
OH MR. Haines is not going to like this, He is not going to like this at all.. . So, there we go, another 6 hours of her wondering from room to room, asking how much are the rooms tonight....

Great story, but you need to change his name to Mr. H like you did with the LOL... otherwsie it's a HIPAA violation to put patient names on here. (I'm sure it wasn't intentional since you refer to the lady as "Mrs. H")

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I've worked in a nursing home last year and the Elderly Mental Institution department is in the same building wherein the Residential department where I worked is located.The two departments is separated with a double glass door with specially coded lock.One morning when I was passing by the door , I saw a very smart woman banging the door and shouting help.Thinking that she was one of the visitors and can't get out coz she doesn't know the code,I hurriedly went to open the door for her.It's good one of the staff in the department saw me or else I could have let one of mental patient out.:rotfl:

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Hi Guys we had an evaluation last week on our clinical skills,I have one more week before I become a second year student. Anyway the Uni provided patients to practice some of the skills.One of the students went in and asked a female patient for a urine sample as the doctor had requested it.:nono: The patient nearly hit the roof, as she was in perfect health, the student nurse was supposed to get the urine sample from the patients baby who was in a cot in the room. Well we all had a great laugh

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment