cathy2

Any advice on oncolgy nursing as a student nurse

An old couple goes the doctor, just to check their general health. The husband goes in first and the doctor says: "Well, Mr. Jones, you are in a perfect shape considering your age".And the man says: "Sure I am: I don't drink, I don't smoke and the good Lord takes care of me". At which point the doctor seems puzzled and says: "What do you mean?". The old man replies: "For example, last night I had to go to the toilet and God switched on the light for me, so that I wouldn't fall down." The doctor doesn't understand and asks the man to go out and let his wife in. The woman enters the room and the doctor visits her and says: "You are in a perfect shape, considering your age". At which the woman replies: "Sure I am: I don't drink, I don't smoke..." The doctor interrupts her: "... and the good Lord takes care of you, doesn't He?". "The woman looks puzzled: "What are you talking about?". The doctor explains: "Your husband told me. He says the good Lord looks after him. Like last night, when he was in the toilet and God switched on the light for him so that he wouldn't fall". The woman replies: "Good Lord, he peed in the fridge again!"

A new nurse listened while the doctor was yelling, "Typhoid! Tetorifice! Measles!" The new nurse asked another nurse, "Why is he doing that?" The other nurse replied, "Oh, he just likes to call the shots around here."

Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator? Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off. How do you save a doctor from drowning? Take your foot off his head. How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? None - They just have a nursing assistant do it. Patient: "Nurse, I just swallowed my pillow!" Nurse: "How do you feel?" Patient: "A little down in the mouth"

Well hospitals here are becoming no smoking zones, but I am sure that will also cause problems because people who want a smoke are still going to do so.Goooooooooooooooooooooooood luck to them.

This is a question I hear often as it varies from place to place,but by law I am sure every worker is entitled to a break after a certain amount of time.:balloons:

Another website that I have found usefull in www.internurse.com Good site for Nursing info as practiced in United Kingdom. Karen

The time was right

Hi Guys we had an evaluation last week on our clinical skills,I have one more week before I become a second year student. Anyway the Uni provided patients to practice some of the skills.One of the students went in and asked a female patient for a urine sample as the doctor had requested it. The patient nearly hit the roof, as she was in perfect health, the student nurse was supposed to get the urine sample from the patients baby who was in a cot in the room. Well we all had a great laugh

:lol_hittiDont knock yourself, :nurse:It is stressfull with so much going on but work with the team, and dont be afraid to ask questions and sing in your heart :heartbeatI will survive good luck:balloons:

:smackingfooooo thats a scary one especially if you are doing the report/handover for the first time. I remember when I had to do it on my second clinical placement I was shaking from head to toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

HI Guys and Gals tell me is this site just for American nurses/students