Alex3

Appreciate your reply - thanks. Started back today & trying to take one day at a time - in theory. Just want to finish my first year as it would be a positive step but there's no doubt about it, I am very fragile. My course leader said the right things but was v quick to defer me. One foot in front of the other.....Will carry on exercising and will visit my GP to change meds but yes, I'm really depressed, watching your loved one detioriate does not make me feel that life is precious - it makes me feel depressed, empty and cheated. On the inside I'm a miserable sod and the outside, appear as if I am coping. All empty words.

Hi there, My partner will be changing his meds soon as his GIST is resistant to Gleevec. He will shortly be taking Sutent and will need to do a lot more travelling which he finds tiring at present. Having looked-up the side effects of this drug I am naturally concerned about how responds to this drug and also how I will cope when the pressure of long shifts kicks in, as opposed to office work. My first priority is to him. In short, I deferred from my course earlier in the year and since then I have been undertaking officework. I have no idea what to do for the best. I know that long term I do want to become a nurse but frankly I'm not sure whether I can look after others when I am finding it difficult to look after my self mentally and eventually be the sole carer for my partner. I would be very interested to know what you think. I am supposed to be re-enrolling back onto my nursing course tomorrow and am really confused. Should I just go for it or what? Pls help - both our families are too worried to share this additional burden.

Hi there, My partner will be changing his meds soon as his GIST is resistant to Gleevec. He will shortly be taking Sutent and will need to do a lot more travelling which he finds tiring at present. Having looked-up the side effects of this drug I am naturally concerned about how responds to this drug and also how I will cope when the pressure of long shifts kicks in, as opposed to office work. My first priority is to him. In short, I deferred from my course earlier in the year and since then I have been undertaking officework. I have no idea what to do for the best. I know that long term I do want to become a nurse but frankly I'm not sure whether I can look after others when I am finding it difficult to look after my self mentally and eventually be the sole carer for my partner. I would be very interested to know what you think. I am supposed to be re-enrolling back onto my nursing course tomorrow and am really confused. Should I just go for it or what? Pls help - both our families are too worried to share this additional burden.

Dear All, I am struggling to make a decision and would appreciate any advice you may be able to offer. At present my partner is 'fairly well', despite having terminal GIST. Unlike me he does not suffer from depression and is intent on enjoying the remainder of his life and really does enjoy each day. Earlier in the year I deferred from my nursing course due to depression and found some temp administrative work. As yet, despite being on anti-depressants and working in an easy job I feel I have not progressed in terms of coming out of my depression. I'm angry, withdrawn and could sleep all day, given the chance. I have to force myself to go running and go to work. I am due to be returning to my nursing course in a couple of wks but I have major concerns as I feel I will have to lie to the occupational therapist and say that all is fine, when it simply isn't.I'd love cognitive behavioural therapy but my college does not do it and frankly I'm broke. I do want to be a nurse but think the timing is wrong at present. In terms of my partner's illness - it seems as if he will no longer have any more active treatment as the tumours have spread. This will be confirmed next week when he goes for a second opinion in another hospital. If you were in my shoes, what would you do? I know this sounds very pathetic but I really don't know what to do for the best.

Totally agree with the last post but as one reader said - if anything goes pear-shaped, then the NURSE is accountable. That being said, nursing shouldn't be about egos - this aid sounds great. What an asset!

Agree - it would be interesting to know what the other staff think of this aid. I assume she is considered a great asset? If it was me, I'd be very careful & choose my words carefully - there could be serious repercussions. Can't fathom out whether there's much respect or team work for all parties...As my partner says, unhappy people moan!

Agree with Spring Peeper & Military Spouse, encourage her to do nurse training - she'd be brilliant but at the same time, she needs to be careful. Suspect that all staff are well aware of the strengths & weaknesses of this member of staff. Personally, I think it's the Sister's role to ensure all are working in a team and understand each other's roles. On my placement, we have a very experienced HCA who back home is a qualified nurse. She's tough-minded, bossy but at the end of the day is respected because she knows her stuff and we all appreciate her and encourage her to convert her qualification.

I agree to disagree on this one. When your loved one is facing death - it doesn't matter that your'e scribing a diary, making notes - Nurses/doctors shouldn't feel threatened - why hide your feelings, your writings? In my mind - it's insecurity on the 'professionals' part if they are feeling anxious on seeing people scribing. Respect the patient - respect the relatives.

Oops - meant for her husband - not her patient.

My partner's CA has just returned. I take notes when the consultants come round because I'm tired and when it comes to updating the relatives, I can simply rattle my notes off and it's less effort - rotton memory due to exhaustion. I make notes of all those who look after him so that I can send cards etc... and keep a journal, which is more for me and his family. It's not a law suit in my case and as a nursing student, I've seen another nurse do this for her terminally ill patient. In my case, it's my treasured book.

This thread has made me think .... In my placement, the majority of the nurses use 'sweetie, love, honey, darling'... and I find myself using these names too. I will stop doing this now. Can't believe I got into the habit - oops! Livning and learning.

Hi there, In my first year of a dip/adv dip/degree course but would be interested to find out just exactly how much physiology training we should be getting. So far, we have had a couple of hours a week, and a couple of hours of science - when we're not on placement. Is this the norm? Recognise that am only in foundation year but having spoken to some third year students, the input & quality of the physiology teaching doesn't seem to get any better, at my college anyway. Is this just my college or is the teaching of physiology a problem throughout the uk? The first module was a disaster, we would cover all the systems in a two hour lecture! Our tutor read out her notes, threatened us with tests and then never followed through. In our next module, different tutor, teacher knew her stuff but lessons were not tailored for the students and as a result, we learned by ourselves. The college's response is that the tutors are facilitators. The majority of us have no science A'levels so you can imagine, we don't understand much in these lessons. I'll learn myself but discouraging to know have another two years of this... Talked to nurses on my current ward and they seem to think that quality of physiology is poor, that is, some of the nurses that have just qualified seem to lack the basics. Is this a problem throughtout the uk? Has anyone experienced good physiology teaching? What do you think?

Thankfully, (in second placement) in the medical ward which I have been assigned to, to date, the majority of the heathcare assistants are brilliant, work hard and have a good sense of humour - all work in a team . In my first placement, I had to work with a HCA who did appear to run the ward. On the final day of my assessment, without warning, she asked my mentor if she could sit in on my assessment and help with assessing me. Whilst I respected and listened attentively to her when I worked with her (about 2 hours in total over the 4 wk placment), she didn't do the same for me. She aspires to be a nurse and as a result, wanted to be involved in my assessment process. She was a very capable HCA and having worked on the ward for at least two years, had a lot of knowledge about renal failure.. & was good with the patients, but not so good with the rest of the staff. She liked to play the 'no confidence' card so would ask me questions to 'test' and try to intimidate me. As it was my first placement, and being in my 30s I didn't let this bother me but I did tell my mentor that I didn't think it was appropriate for her to be involved in my assessment as I had not really worked for her. Funny, I encouraged her about training but she seemed to go out of her way to tell stories about others and show other people on the ward up. Worrying though - if she pursues nursing, will she be able to work in a team? What do you think?

During my second placement this week, I helped to look after a rta patient who is only young.It was a 'hit & run'. One of his daughters had recently had a baby, so when I entered his room, it was heart-rendering to see the picture of his grandchild next to him in the bed and I tried to fight back the tears. His wife is also a nurse, so I know it's going to be a real privilege to provide care for him and his family, and at the same time, challenging emotionally-speaking. We all keep upbeat as his partner informs me that he has a wicked sense of humour. Needless to say, it is difficult to 'switch off' and for me personally, having had my partner in ICU and about to have surgery next month, I do think it's hard to manage now and again. We're all human. Look after you!

First week over on my second placement. In this ward, it seems common practice to get a coffee break of about 10 mins in a 7.5hr shift. All staff seem to take theirs entitlement and the staff so far, encourage it which is great. If you are busy, or dealing with a crisis....the staff tend to tell you to take a break regardless of your status (student/hca/qualified nurse)... Despite being short staffed, we all still managed to get a break the other day.I was impressed! For me personally, I need 10 mins to sit, drink, write notes....and then I can start again, a bit more refreshed. I hope to keep on doing this, but it will be interesting to see whether on different placements breaks are not taken/not encouraged.