1. My New PCP

    Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

    A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

    Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
    A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

    Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

    A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

    Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
    A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
    A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

    Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

    A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

    Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
    A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

    Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
    A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

    Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

    A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

    Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

    And remember:
    Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"


    For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

    1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

    2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

    3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

    4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans...

    5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

    CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you....lol
  2. Visit GitanoRN profile page

    About GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN

    Joined: Jan '10; Posts: 2,358; Likes: 3,117


  3. by   Kittypower123
    Time for me to learn a new language!
  4. by   GitanoRN
    Quote from kittypower123
    time for me to learn a new language!
    those were some the comments of some of my colleagues after reading this :d
  5. by   CapeCodMermaid
    Your PCP forgot one important thing: meat is not bad for you. Cows eat the grass(vegetable) you eat the cow, therefore you are eating vegetables. Yum
  6. by   KelRN215
    The rest of the world has a good handle on things... everyone gets healthcare, everyone gets good vacation time and takes it regularly, everyone gets a guaranteed paid leave upon the birth of a child and you leave work in the middle of the day to nap.

    This reminds me of a great quote from Eat, Pray, Love: "For me, though, a major obstacle in my pursuit of pleasure was my ingrained sense of Puritan guilt. Do I really deserve this pleasure? This is very American, too – the insecurity about whether we have earned our happiness. Planet Advertising in America orbits completely around the need to convince the uncertain consumer that yes, you have actually warranted a special treat. This Bud’s for You! You Deserve a Break Today! Because You’re Worth It! You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby! And the insecure consumer thinks, Yeah! Thanks! I am gonna go buy a six-pack, damn it! Maybe even two six-packs! And then comes the reactionary binge. Followed by the remorse. Such advertising campaigns would probably not be as effective in the Italian culture, where people already know that they are entitled to enjoyment in this life. The reply in Italy to “You Deserve a Break Today” would probably be, "Yeah, no duh. That’s why I’m planning on taking a break at noon, to go over to your house and sleep with your wife."
  7. by   chaka_1709
    Hahahaha that's great. It really is the american way.. spend a lot of money for only a little bit of good
  8. by   Aongroup1990
    It's funny this cracked me up...
  9. by   nurse671
    Nice one. Hehe.
  10. by   Creamsoda
    that was great! Thank you!
  11. by   GitanoRN
    i'm glad that you liked it just as much as i did, needless to say it brought a smile & a chuckle to my lips once i read it for the first time. consequently, one of our doctors in the facility where i work send it to me via e-mail and i felt the need to share with the rest of an members.
  12. by   Esme12
    My sediments exactly.....
  13. by   Epic_RN
    Love it!! This gave me a much-needed chuckle this morning!
  14. by   GitanoRN
    Quote from epic_rn
    love it!! this gave me a much-needed chuckle this morning!
    i aim to please.... have a great week...aloha~