Published
On the first day of first grade, the new teacher announced that there will be no more "Baby Talk"
She started the day. "Johnny, what did you do over summer vacation?"
Johnny said, "I went to nana's."
"No, you mean Grandmother's. You must remember to use big people words class."
"Shirley, what did you do?" She replied, "I took a ride on a choo-choo." "No, you mean train."
She asked Kevin what he did over summer vacation
Kevin replied "I read a book."
Excellent the teacher said. "Which book did you read?"
After a long pause he said...
"Winnie the shit."
ptnurse
185 Posts
Jim and Mary were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly junped in to save him. She swam to the bottom of the pool and pulled Jim out. When the medical director bacame aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead.":o
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry.":roll