Creative Writing

[WashYaHands]

Analogies & Metaphors Found in High School Essays

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its 2

other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. -- Sue

Lin Chong, Washington

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking

alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

-- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience,

like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar

eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it

and now goes around the country speaking at high schools

about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without

one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. -- Joseph Romm,

Washington

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a

sneeze. -- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots

in the center. -- Russell Beland, Springfield

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who tried his level best

to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but got

T:flw.quid55329.com\aaakk/ch@ung by mistake. -- Ken

Krattenmaker, Landover Hills

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. -- Barry

Johnson, Richmond

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. -- Jack

Bross, Chevy Chase

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots

when you fry them in hot grease. -- Gary F. Hevel, Silver

Springs

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two

freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m.

traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at

a speed of 35 mph. -- Jennifer Hart, Arlington

A politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after

the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can. -- Wayne Goode, Madison

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket

fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. -- Paul Kocak, Syracuse NY

John & Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds

who had also never met. -- Russell Beland, Springfield

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a

thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. -- Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola

crayon. -- Diane Welch, Richmond

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she

was the East River. -- Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel

trap, only one that had been left out in the weather so

long it had rusted shut.-- Sandra Hull, Arlington

The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during

the interview portion of "Jeopardy!" -- Jean Sorensen, Herndon

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. -- Jerry Pannullo, Kensington

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But

unlike Phil, this plan just might work. -- Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from

not eating for a while. -- Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington

"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like

a college freshman on $1-a-beer night. -- Bonnie Speary

Devore, Gaithersburg

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck

either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from

stepping on a land mine or something. -- John Kammer,

Herndon

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone

who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

-- Barbara Collier, Garrett Park

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a

dog makes just before it throws up. -- Susan Reese, Arlington

It came down the stairs looking very much like something

no one had ever seen before. -- Marian Carlsson, Lexington

The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila

Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of

parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.)

in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the

impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton. -- J.

F. Knowles, Springfield

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one

slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. --

Jennifer Hart, Arlington

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a

rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. -- Paul J. Kocak, Syracuse

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an

oscillating electric fan set on medium. -- Bill Johnson, Alexandria

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids

around with power tools. -- Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard

bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. -- Susan

Reese, Arlington

She was as easy as the "TV Guide" crossword. -- Tom Witte,

Gaithersburg

Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten

to put in any pH cleanser. -- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he

was room-temperature Canadian beef. -- Brian Broadus,

Charlottesville

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing

legs. -- Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-

generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band

tightened. -- Sue Lin Chong, Washington

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally

staple it to the wall. -- Brian Broadus, CharlottesvilleThanks so much

[renerian, BSN, RN]

Wow that was a long list of chuckles........

Funny,

I like the sneeze one...

renerian

[Mkue]

Originally posted by WashYaHands

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he

was room-temperature Canadian beef. -- Brian Broadus,

Charlottesville

LOL:chuckle :rotfl:

that was my favorite, they were all very funny ! thanks :)

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

So good!, thanks.

[christianRN]

They are all so funny!! The e.Coli is my favorite, too! :)

[JonRN]

I liked the one about grandpappy's steel trap mind the best. I can identify with it I guess.

Pappy

[OBNURSEHEATHER]

Originally posted by WashYaHands

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who tried his level best

to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but got

T:flw.quid55329.com\aaakk/ch@ung by mistake. -- Ken

Krattenmaker, Landover Hills

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. -- Barry

Johnson, Richmond

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone

who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

-- Barbara Collier, Garrett Park

It came down the stairs looking very much like something

no one had ever seen before. -- Marian Carlsson, Lexington

My favorites!

Thanks! These are great!

Heather

[l.rae]

[,

Herndon

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone

who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

-- Barbara Collier, Garrett Park

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one

slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. --

Jennifer Hart, Arlington

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally

staple it to the wall. -- Brian Broadus, CharlottesvilleThanks so much [/b]

my favorites

[donmurray]

"It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools" Life is obviously never dull in Charlottesville!

The nosehair is sheer poetry!

[KP RN]

What's wrong with chasing your children around with power tools??

I don't get it!

Tee Hee!

[rebel_red]

LMAO!!! Since ya'll like these, there are a few books you might enjoy. The University of Arizona (I think!) runs a contest every year named after the Victorian author who penned the longest sentence "It was a dark and stormy night (naw not Snoopy) and it goes on for an additional 52 words. Anyhoo his name is Bullwer-Lytton (not sure about that spelling). They have at least 2 books out with the contest results. My favorite has always been: Why was the first ice age in Scotland? God likes his Scotch on the rocks......

bwahahahaha

Tres

[zudy]

:roll ROTFALMAO!!!!! The nosehair is my fav,too! I have read some of the "It was a dark and stormy night" they are too funny. Has any one else heard of these? Where can I find them?