When you're in charge and you have to report a friend? Then what?

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Specializes in OB, M/S, HH, Medical Imaging RN.

Yesterday was a bad day on the floor. I work on an acute care med/surg telemetry floor. Everyone was having trouble keeping up and I called the NM and told her we needed more help and that I had taken it upon myself to call in the O/C nurse. I wasn't asking for permission just letting her know. She was very cool with it. When I do charge the nurses always tell me that they appreciate me because I always do look out for them. We all work together very well and I consider all of them my friends but of course you get closer with some than others. One of my closer friends was having a really bad day. She had a new admission who tested positive for the flu and in the next room she had been taking care of a 2 year old post-op T&A admitted for complications. I told her not to re-enter the 2 year's room since she had been in the room with the flu patient (not yet placed on isolation) and explained to her why and told her I was switching that 2 year old patient with another patient/nurse. She said I'm keeping the 2 year old, we have bonded, I'm not taking that other patient in 319. I also changed the techs assignment to keep the 2 year old safer from the flu and the tech were cool with it. I tried again explaining it to her and then I went in and explained it to the 2 y/o's mother. She was cool with it. I caught the nurse going into the 2 y/o's room. I grabbed her arm and looked her in the face and said "no", come I need to talk to you. I told her in an empty room that I knew she was stressed and that I was willing to do whatever she needed me to to get her caught up but that she had to understand that I was in charge and I meant what I said. She said I promised the child I would be the one to give her her medicine. She started out of the room toward the child again and I grabbed the medicine out of her hands. I said "no". Do not go in that room. She huffed off. I called my nurse manager who came and talked with her. The rest of the day she was calm but would not look at me or talk to me. I feel like "too bad" I was right and you were wrong but this is the first time that I have had to report a friend when I was in charge. I know I handled it correctly. I plan on just letting it go because I feel like after a day or two she'll see how wrong she was. I hate to lose a friend over this. I'm not really asking for advice, just need to vent, thanks for listening.............Have you ever lost a friend over being in charge?

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I'm in no way trying to change or divert the topic but how do you test positive for the flu? And what kind of test it it? :)

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

This is why i'm not friends with people i work with (in my own dept. that is). Creates sticky situations that i'd rather avoid.

If she gives you any crap about it, tell her that you would have handled the situation no different with anyone else, and leave it at that. If she's going to be huffy about it, that's her problem, unless it interferes with work (again).

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Specializes in OB, M/S, HH, Medical Imaging RN.
I'm in no way trying to change or divert the topic but how do you test positive for the flu? And what kind of test it it? :)

A special nasal swab. Test results within minutes.

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A special nasal swab. Test results within minutes.

Neat. :)

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I think You did the right thing .My GF was RN charge when I was an aide when I ened up on her unit one day as a float .She asked me if I was Ok with this. I said sure.The nice thing about my friend is she discussed how every thing was going to go and if I had a question or vise versa we could discuss it.IT was great fun working with her.Loved her being my charge .I told her I did not expect privlages over others just cause we were best friends .

I also would have had a fit if .I had been a parent of the child and that nurse exposed my child to flu.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

I'm not "friends" with my coworkers, in that I don't socialize with them, don't give gifts and Christmas cards, but there are people I've worked with for over 14 years that I've shared a lot of good and bad times with. I can certainly understand how you would be feeling bad.

Hopefully, when the dust settles she'll be able to see you were only advocating for the patient's wellbeing and following policy.

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Specializes in med-surg, teaching, cardiac, priv. duty.

For reasons exactly like this (the orginal posting), I have always avoided being friends with co-workers. As a nurse, I want to be professional and objective. People's lives are in the balance. If I see a nurse making significant errors, I do not want to hesitate to do the right thing becasue she/he is my friend. Or create hurt feelings and other problems, by reporting them.

But don't get me wrong...I am "friendly" with the people I work with!! (I am liked and get along with my co-wrokers.) But I do not socialize with them outside of work, don't share overly personal things with them, etc. I keep a distance of sorts. They are "acquaintences", not friends. I prefer to make friends and socialize in other ways - in my neighborhood, church, volunteer activites, family,etc.

My "policy" of "not being friends" with my co-workers has served me well in my 14 years as a nurse. I have avoided a lot of touchy situations and issues that I have seen other nurses have to deal with...

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Specializes in OB, M/S, HH, Medical Imaging RN.

I only have one friend at work that I socialize with outside of work. I consider everyone I work with a good friend and would do anything for one in need. I have several that I pal around with at work like schedule lunches together, if that's ever possible, but no don't socialize outside of work. I've never planned it that way but we all just lead different lives and live in different areas of town. Being in charge I have had several fuss at me when I give them a new admit, even the one I socialize with outside of work, but when the day is over so are all the feelings that have gone on during the day. Were just glad it's time to go home! I sometimes base my decision on whether or not I'll work extra by who is scheduled.

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Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.

You did the right thing.. you know it, and SHE knows it.

If the friendship suffers over it, then she's not much of a friend to begin with, now, is she? Friendship includes having respect for your judgement as charge nurse for that day, or any day.

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Specializes in Neuro/Med-Surg/Oncology.

The floor that I am on for my clinical is very close and "familylike." Here's my problem. I had a agitated dementia pt that I had to give a B12 injection to. One of the nurses on the floor helped me to get him up and cajole him to the tub room so that I could give him his shot. When we got him up some money fell onto the floor. It wasn't mine or the nurse's. The only other person that was around was the pt. We weren't sure that it was his b/c he only had on a gown and not too many places to hold it. We left it at the nurse's station until we could speak to his family. The aide that was on for the day said that it was hers. She wasn't around. We spoke to the unit director and she and the nurse said "It must have been so and so's (the aide). . . . ." The only way that it MAY (a very big may) have been her's was if she dropped it and it got tangeld in his gown when she helped him trf to his geri-chair. I'm the student and the outsider, but I think everyone on the unit is too close if this can happen. I asked patient's family and they didn't know if he had money on him. Here's the other sticky point. Bacause of the "family/clique" situation, I'm not sure if telling my clinical instructor is going to be a problem. She works on the unit full time in addition to having a clinical group. They're all her friends and I don't think she is going to take my word over all of theirs. Meanwhile, someone who can't stand up for himself loses. I'm not sure who to go to. So I guess I have one of these.:innerconf

Anyway, back to original topic . . . . I think it's better to keep a professional distance at work to avoid problems such as these and I also agree with Jnette that if she does not respect you professionally and has turned it personal, it can't be much of a friendship. Just my :twocents: . . ..

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
Anyway, back to original topic . . . . I think it's better to keep a professional distance at work to avoid problems such as these . . ..

You're probably correct. And cliques at work can be frustrating to the outsider.

But I can't say I agree 100% with the distance approach to going to work.

I'm at work to work, not make friends and socialize. I expect profressional behavior 100% of the time and to be aware of and to follow all work policies.

That said, I work with some pretty nice people and we all have lives. We don't come into work and not talk to each other on a level other than work. As I said, I've work beside some of these people for 14 years. We've been through hell and back together work wise. Many of us have shared fun times personally, births, children growing, death, divorce, miscarriage, etc. While it's best to leave the personal life and problems at the door, after 14 years you do get to know some people, and yes consider them friends.

The risk with building a rapport with coworkers is that you'll get hurt. But human beings are social creatures, not robots.

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