I Desperately Want Out

Nurses Career Support

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Hi Everyone,

i just need to vent and I need someone to talk to me. I'm just feeling very upset right now and I want out of nursing..

I graduated with my associates a year and a half ago and have been practicing as a RN for about a year now and I absolutely hate it.

I work on an observation floor and everyone's super helpful but I'm starting to just dread coming into work and that's never happened before.

I'm 22 years old and I'm starting to realize what I want out of life and it's becoming more and more clear that it's not this. I'm starting to realize that I want a family and nursing is far from friendly hours. I don't want to be working on holidays, weekends, or especially nights. I know some parents make it work but I don't want to be one of those people.

im starting to resent people and I've never been like that before. I have no patience anymore and I'm just burnt out.

Ultimately, I just feel like a failure. I went to school for something that I thought I would absolutely love. I thought I wanted this. I worked so hard for my RN and I'm giving it all up.

I'm sorry for ranting and I know that these paragraphs don't flow easily... I'm just blurting out all my feelings at this point..

The sad thing is, I don't think I'll be good at anything else. I'm not sure what else id do if I wasn't a nurse.

How do I tell my family and especially my boyfriend that I love so very much that it's not for me without looking like a huge failure? I also don't want my partner to leave me over it.

What should I do?

Sincerely,

a very sad young RN

Specializes in Peds, Med-Surg, Disaster Nsg, Parish Nsg.

This is the kind of thread that makes me smile! Thank you to all who have responded for providing such helpful information and insight to this struggling newer nurse.

Keep it going!

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Specializes in Critical Care, Peri-Op, Aesthetics.

Nooooo.. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. But I think all nurses go through spots like this. I definitely did when I started off on a med-surg floor, then moved to CVICU. Now I'm happy I found my home lol. But you have to remember that you have chosen one of the most versatile careers EVER. There are tons of RN jobs outside of the hospital and as far as scheduling goes, there are tons of different schedules out there. If you are in the hospital, most likely you will have to work weekends, holidays and even nights. But there are definitely positions within the hospital that don't require any of these, you just have to do your research.

You will probably find a more "normal" schedule outside of the hospital. Nurses can work in so many different capacities, it just takes a little research and wiggling around to find your happy place. Primary care clinics, urgent care, med spas, dermatology, plastic surgery, law... the possibilities are endless.

Don't make any rash decisions based on this one experience. Most careers out there are limited in the capacities they can perform and people get stuck and resort to going back to school. In the nursing world, you can avoid that with proper research and a little hustling. You'll save yourself from feeling this way. Trust me, you have an infinite amount of options. Best wishes!

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In addition to the great input you've had from other posters, I was thinking that could very well be the actual job making you feel depressed, OR it could be that you are changing phases in your life from student to full-time working adult. I know for me when I finally graduated and went to work as a young adult I remember getting some sticker shock-- was depressed that this might be what the rest of my life would be like-- just work endlessly and pay bills, etc.

I am always an advocate for counseling. Seriously. It's good to talk about your feelings, tease them apart and find out what the source of them is, and then what changes need to be made to get you to a better place-- whether that be a job change, a career change, or personal change (such as stress management, etc).

I found my first nursing job to be very difficult and I stuck it out to the point of burn-out. I finally changed jobs and it was not as scary as I thought it would be. I now love the area of nursing I work in, and can see myself doing it until retirement. I'm so glad I didn't give up on nursing.

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I didn't like nursing already when I was a nursing student. I didn't quit nursing school because I worked so hard to get in to the program. I didn't wanna waste my hard work.

I have been a nurse for about three years (one year of med surg and two years of OR). I don't like nursing still. I cannot see myself doing this job for the next thirty years. I am actually quitting nursing half way. That is, I currently work just 0.5 FTE and take some classes at a local college to get a master's degree in non-nursing. I am really happy that I finally became a part timer for work because being a part timer made my quality of life much better.

I feel majority of Nursing Jobs are too stressful physically or/and mentally. I was really not happy when I was working especially in med surg. I could not see anything good about nursing. But now I can see something good about nursing. It's flexibility. I can work just part time and go to school (part time) without taking out loans.

If you wanna quit your job right away, you'd better not make the decision quickly. You may wanna be part time instead, so you have more time taking care of yourself and thinking about your future. I have seen a nurse who was stressed out made a decision to quit way too quickly and she regretted.

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Speaking as someone who loves being a nurse for the past 20 years, the first few years are really the hardest and it does take time before you find that love. Not only are you trying to learn your new role as an RN, you're usually subject to rotating shifts and trying to figure out where you fit in best. These things will iron themselves out over time. You stated in your OP that you have an associate's degree, if you really can't see yourself in nursing role, you could consider applying those credits towards a bachelor's degree in something other than nursing. Best of luck to you!

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Specializes in Varied.
OP does not have to pursue a BSN to "do Public Health (health department), school nursing, home health, case management, utilization review, telephone triage, and some management positions." All of these positions are available to the nurse with an ADN.

Was speaking for my area! Most health departments and schools require a BSN where I live. :)

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Specializes in Varied.

Also, I would say that furthering my education gave me a better understanding of nursing. My BSN was mostly busy work, but there were a few courses that renewed how I felt about nursing.

I wish you the best of luck!

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Specializes in hospice, LTC, public health, occupational health.

I'm now working the first M-F 8-5 job I've ever had. I hate seeing my kids for 20-30 minutes in the morning and maybe an hour or two in the evening, and never being available to drive to sports events and such. I hate that if I get to cook, it's only on the weekends. I wouldn't go back to nights but I'd love to go back to three 12s.

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Specializes in hospice, LTC, public health, occupational health.
Was speaking for my area! Most health departments and schools require a BSN where I live. :)

Jeez, where do you live?! I currently work in public health and my boss, who supervises two clinics, doesn't even have a BSN.

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Specializes in Flight, ER, Transport, ICU/Critical Care.

A couple of things.

• You can't see yourself doing anything else. Hmmm.

- I think there is something here worth exploring further. Something big & very important. Start with your dream jobs and work backward. What really interests you. Find a mentor. Trust me, there are plently of nursing mentor type folks that need to pay it back, that had it paid forward for them.

• You have concerns that if you were to leave the profession your partner/boyfriend would leave you?

- Wait, what? Why? Because you aren't going to be a nurse and do something/anything else. I have ?'s about that issue you worry about rightly so or not (kinda breaks my heart) but it's prolly just the old person in me or spidey senses firing or something.

Now there's lots of great advice here. I will add.

Regulate your schedule. Be selfish with your needs a bit (sleep and pre-shift become sacred things) if you are not. Hit the door ready to have a great shift! Self talk is everything! Try it for 2 weeks!

Exercise moderately. Good nutrition. Avoid excess anything. Spend time in nature. Go to church (if that's your thing). Sing loudly. Set a goal outside work. Be conservative with time and money (it will increase your options - ALWAYS!). Volunteer to help in your community.

I always recommend counseling and an honest talk with how you are feeling with your primary care doctor - we cannot take care of patients/our families or business, till we get right with ourselves.

FTR I wanted to quit - heck, too many times to count. I was great a being a medic, I was an epic dumbass (at least I felt that way) as a nurse. But, I embraced the suck and it eventually sucked less. But just a tad.

It takes a bit of time. The funny thing was I did not really love working in the ER as much as I thought I would, I liked some of the ICU/CCU's as much or more. You just never know till you try. Surprise.

Try on something. You know what you should be doing, you are a nurse.

Good luck.

Keep us posted.

:angel:

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Take a year off and travel the world. You'll find as a nurse there are plenty of voluntary organisations that will grab you.

When I became a nurse i did it because I wanted to work in Israel and I did that for a while.

I'm now retired.

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Specializes in Hospice,LTC,Pacu,Regulatory,Operating room.

I will start with this, you are only 22 years old. Your boyfriend you loooove so much is not whats important here. If you love him and he loves you even if you share these feelings he wont look at you as a failure. Second, you may need to find a new job. All nursing gigs are not hard with crazy hours post the first year. I just think you are not aware of other opportunities. get your resume together,talk to nurses who do different jobs. Get a few mentors(not from your current job) I will tell you hospital nursing was not for me either. I got my 1 year experience and have never looked back.

I wish you well sweetheart and i am proud of you for such a great accomplishment at 22 years old.

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