Nurse dating former patient?

Nurses Professionalism

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Unethical? What are your thoughts on this?! Thanks

Update: I think I exaggerated with the calling he called 3 times. The first I was with a client so I told him glad he was doing great but I'm providing care, the second time- I was giving report and the 3rd I told him it wasn't professional and etc. To also add, I never even gave this guy a medication only applied a band aid to his finger from a cut. There is attraction there thats why I asked. I wouldn't date a patient. But thanks for everyone's advice! He hasn't called back since then. During his stay I did tell him when he first approached me for a date when he was released I also told him no that I didn't cross that line.

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Update: I think I exaggerated with the calling he called 3 times. The first I was with a client so I told him glad he was doing great but I'm providing care, the second time- I was giving report and the 3rd I told him it wasn't professional and etc. To also add, I never even gave this guy a medication only applied a band aid to his finger from a cut. There is attraction there thats why I asked. I wouldn't date a patient. But thanks for everyone's advice! He hasn't called back since then. During his stay I did tell him when he first approached me for a date when he was released I also told him no that I didn't cross that line.

So based on the update you gave him mixed signals. You should have reiterated the "no" on the first call, especially since you told him no in person initially. He still crossed boundaries when he called you at work. He didn't get in touch the second time and he called a third time, in which what you said the 3rd call should have been what was said initially or the first call.

Secondly, it's fine to be attracted to someone, we all are at times, it's another to know when it's not appropriate and leave it alone. Your actions seem to have been leaning towards maybe dating him but I think even you realized it wasn't right with the continued calls, kudos.

However, I'm still concerned that you trivialize it by stating you think you exaggerated the calling. No ma'am, 3 calls is still 1-3 too many. I don't think you realize how out of line this man was but the takeaway is you still turned him down and told him it wasn't professional which then set that boundary. Glad he hasn't called back.

FYI I'm not trying to be hateful, I just think you need to take this more serious cause it had the potential to get worse. I'm speaking from experience, although it wasn't a patient, just a regular jerk. Establishment of boundaries and a clear no are necessary when dealing with men like the one you encountered. Best of luck to you in the future.

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As ethical as a teacher dating a consenting student.

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When I first read the OP, I agreed with other posters - depends on the relationship, how long you cared for the pt, how long ago it was, etc. as others said.

Then, the OP said that she said no, but seemed to be defending the guy's actions, which implied she wanted to say yes. So, it seemed to me she probably gave him mixed signals. She might have liked him and been kinda flirty with him, making him think he had the okay. BUT, when he asked her out and she said no, no matter how she said it or how she acted before she said no, she said no. It should have ended there. Like another poster said, he could have sent a nice note saying thank you and giving his information in case she ever reconsidered so she could get a hold of him. But, going out of his way to get the number to the unit and calling 3x seems hugely inappropriate to me.

The OP didn't give him the number and tell him it was okay to call her at work - he'd asked her out and she said no. Leaving a nice note saying thank you and here's my info if you change your mind, that's not creepy or stalkerish, that's just saying hey, I thought we had a connection, I think you did too, but I totally get your reasons for saying no, but in case you change your mind I'm giving you my info. But, going out of his way t get the number to the unit and calling like that, that's just creepy to me. If I didn't give you the number and say you could call me - DON'T! I wouldn't like that on my personal line, let alone my work line!!

But then, after everyone is saying how this guy seems like bad news because of how he's acting, the OP goes in defense again. Saying she over-exaggerated and it was only 3 calls and that she never gave the guy medication and she only applied a band-aid to cut on his finger - it seems she really wants to say yes to this guy. She is defending his actions. But, she feels it is wrong to date a patient. Maybe she was looking for someone to say it would be okay.

On a side note, I'm not sure why giving the guy medication would mean you couldn't date him? You asked if want people thought of dating a former patient. Was he a pt of yours or did you just help him out by giving him a band-aid? If you just helped him out with a band-aid, then by all means if you wanna date him go for it!!

So, I guess it depends if your facility has any guidelines on dating pts. If not, I guess it's more about how long you cared for the pt and how long ago it was. From there, it depends on how you feel. If you feel in your gut the guy is a good guy and you feel that when you cared for him, it wasn't enough to make it unethical and are okay with that, go for it girl!! But, if you feel in your gut he maybe went too far by calling your unit 3x after you said no, or that he was a pt, no matter how long you cared for him or what you did for him, that makes it unethical, then go with that!! If all you did was give him a band-aid and you don't think he crossed a line with the calls, then I don't really see a reason not to say yes to him if that's what you want! As long as it isn't against the policies where you work!

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I used to work part-time at a clinic that seemed to do a lot of genital warts. These sleazy guys would come in for their appointments and flirt with us. So...no dating of patients for me!

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Ok I didn't read all the pages of responses, but yes, that sounds like stalking. Also, it is a violation of the therapeutic relationship and you're likely to be reprimanded by your licensing board.

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Specializes in Cardicac Neuro Telemetry.

In general, I think it is a bad idea. If things go sour and the other party is bitter, they could throw some major accusations your way. It sounds like a great romance novel idea, but not a good idea for real life.

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Thanks everyone,

My friend also dealt with a similar example.

But he called once more and I was stern and told him no. Even had to go as far to say I had a boyfriend. He said he would no longer call.

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This may have already been brought up.....

Informing your manager should be considered. If this former patient is persistently pestering you, he could be problematic down the line. Getting "in front" of the situation is a respectable move. Situations like this can twist and turn in directions never imagined. You'll want to protect yourself and your career.

I hope it works out well for you.

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Specializes in ORTHO, PCU, ED.
Unethical? What are your thoughts on this?! Thanks

I once had an man much older than me, like 25 years older, think I was interested in him I guess because I treated him well. Turns out he kept calling the unit I worked on and yes as said above, it's stalking and this guy wasn't even allowed on hospital property because it got so bad. If your boss and/or others you work with are not aware of this, you need to make them aware. This is actually a very serious matter whether or not it seems so and your safety could be at risk. No telling what kind of person this is. Sends huge red flags when once told no and persists. Take this up several notches.

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After you said no, he called your work and continues to call despite being told (I assume) you aren't interested. This type of control to get what he wants can be an early sign of an abuser. Tell management so you don't get in trouble for having "too many phone calls" and tell them to no longer pass him through! Give a specific extension to family for emergency calls. Take it from a woman who thought he will never hit me and then had to spend 2 years trying to get out of hell

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