Despite the popular image of nurses as healthy people who model the healthful behaviors we want our patients to adopt, we come in all sizes, ages, genders, and abilities. Here are a few thoughts on being a nurse who is less than perfect.
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I have long despised the word "disability". While it's certainly an improvement over the frightful "handicapped", it still smacks of patronization, as in "Oh, we can't expect too much from Mary, she's disabled. Don't give her anything hard to do."Thus, I prefer the term "differently abled".
Yes, it's awkward and doesn't roll off the tongue quite as smoothly, but I think it's a more apt description of nurses who have physical and/or mental health issues, and yet who bring many gifts and talents to this profession in spite---or because---of their condition.
I wonder sometimes how a nurse who has never been ill in some way is supposed to relate to patients. Not that it's necessary to experience every human misery in order to take care of people, but let's face it: no one who has NOT been overweight or obese at some point in life can possibly understand what it's like to live inside a 300-pound body. Nor can a person who's never battled a serious mental illness comprehend the desperation that drives someone to attempt suicide. Patients need nurses who can at least imagine what they're going through, if not identify with them; they don't need perfect size-2 Mary Sunshine clones preaching at them from some lofty ivory tower.
That's why it puzzles me that so many institutions, such as hospitals and high-end care facilities, are so leery of hiring nurses with a little sinus condition (so to speak). Whether they like it or not, nurses come in all sizes, ages, genders, and abilities. We are young and we are older; we have bad backs and bum knees; we get migraines and MRSA. Many of us fight anxiety and depression, in no small part due to the stresses of our work; in fact, I'd bet a month's pay that at least a third of us are on prescription medications for these (or similar) conditions.
And yet, as judgmental as management can be toward nurses with "nonconformities" of one sort or another, that's small potatoes compared with the way nurses themselves view each other. It's a shame, but the truth is, most of us can spot another nurse's weaknesses with the accuracy of a sniper. It doesn't take much for the co-worker who's carrying an extra 50 pounds to be labeled as "lazy", the older nurse to be called "slow", or the one with labile emotions to be whispered about in the break room ("I think there's something wrong with that Mindy girl"). Nurses do eat our young, yes, but also our old and experienced, our empaths, our free spirits.
What, then, can be done to assure a place at the table for every kind of nurse? Other than a full cultural shift in thinking, a good place to start would be for us as individuals to develop an appreciation of the gifts each of us brings to the profession. For example, I once knew a nurse who was a survivor of domestic violence, a woman so shy that most of our co-workers either ignored her or made fun of her behind her back ("she's so quiet that she could be dead for a week and we'd never know it"). It turned out that she knew how to calm violent patients better than anyone else---a craft undoubtedly learned from years of negotiating with her abuser---and after a couple of demonstrations of this ability, she became the one we all turned to whenever a situation began to escalate.
Let us also try to view the "differently abled" at least as charitably as we do the perfect (or near-perfect). No one gets up in the morning saying "Let's see, how can I make life more difficult for my co-workers today?" The overweight nurse doesn't want to put anybody out or make them work harder; in fact, she's embarrassed when she can't move as fast as her thinner counterparts. But she's strong and she's kind, and she'll help you with chart checks and fingersticks when you're swamped at the end of your shift.
Likewise for that odd little duck who runs hot and cold, isn't always sure of herself and tends to get easily distracted by competing priorities. She isn't being scatterbrained on purpose---trust me, the feeling of having all the TV channels on in your head at the same time isn't pleasant. Chances are though, when a psych patient who is desperately needy comes up to the floor and pushes his call button thirty times an hour, she'll probably be the one he opens up to, taking the pressure off other staff members and giving her something to do for which she is uniquely qualified. A win/win situation for all concerned.
As Kermit the Frog used to say, it's not easy being green........nor is it easy being a nurse with medical or psychological challenges. Let us do our best to remember that everyone has something to offer, and that even the least among us has a talent or ability that can be used to benefit our patients, our employers, and one another.
