Nurses, it's time to harden up

[Koyaanisqatsi-RN]

I've been reading a lot of posts here lately about people complaining about nursing schools "churning out nurses", (if I hear that phrase one more time I might throw up in my mouth!) about bad staffing ratios, bad management, bad patients, bad families, bad jobs, bad economy, bad co-workers, bad docs, bad techs, bad hair days and so on ad nauseum.

To all of that, I have one response: Warning, this video is very not safe for work and has "naughty words" in it. If that offends you though, I suggest you harden up even further!

My point with this is that while I fully understand that people love, LOVE to complain endlessly about every little thing, it's easy to forget life's many beautiful things. It's also easy to forget that all the crap you're complaining so tirelessly about usually has a whole other side to it. I'm willing to bet for every "jerk" family member or manager you talk so much garbage about, they've got an equally angry story about this "horrible idiot" nurse they have to deal with. It certainly gives me food for thought when I realize that the people I may want to lash out at so frequently also have their own goals and problems.

What does this have to do with nursing? Everything.

For one, I myself am one of those new grads who was "churned" out according to a great deal of you who believe people like me are worth less than nothing, apparently. As if my schooling was somehow less of a nightmare than yours. And guess what? I actually have a job because I worked my tail off to get it, and spent a lot less time complaining about it on the internet. I honestly believe that we are largely in control of how we respond to what life deals to us, and the endless complaining I have seen on here has really gotten so bad lately that it seems like it's just largely noise when compared to signal.

A little optimism goes a long way. Optimistic people command respect. They don't wait or hope for it. Optimistic people work with their goals in mind, and find no comfort in a lifestyle of complaints and anger. Optimistic people are that way for a reason. There is nothing keeping you or anyone from doing whatever it is in life that you feel needs to be done. If you hate nursing, I mean REALLY hate it, then go find your happiness in life. Irrespective of how great an actor you think you are, you're taking it out on your patients and co-workers and everybody sees it. Don't be THAT guy / girl.

Anyway, as far as the youtube video goes, whenever I find myself getting too bummed out over some ridiculous detail or find myself complaining way more than my fair share, I remind myself to harden up and be the change I want to see. It's good advice for anyone in the world, regardless of their profession.

[oryxandcake]

I just wanted to say I like your user name!

[edrnbailey]

Well put. I must say I think I needed that. I am guilty of negatism lately. I have noticed it on here also. And it's not just here it seems to be in the air. Just for clarification, I don't think most nurses were churned out. I know I wasn't. Worked my behind off in school AND maintained a full time job. I understand how difficult it can be. It is still the hardest thing I've ever accomplished 14 years later.

So maybe we all needed to be reminded that there is much more for us to be grateful for instead of whining about things that are outside of our circle of influence (things you have no control over).

So everyone, I'm drawing my circle. If the problem, attitude, person doesn't fit into the circle, wish it well and let it go. You will be much happier and your stress levels will thank you...

Great reminder! AND THANK YOU:yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah:

[Davey Do]

Koyaanisqatsi-RN:

I can't access youtube but wanted to say I enjoyed reading your post.

Keep On keeping on.

Dave

[Fribblet]

May I recommend the book "Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking has Undermined America" by Barbara Ehrenreich?

Also:

For one, I myself am one of those new grads who was "churned" out according to a great deal of you who believe people like me are worth less than nothing, apparently.

Dramatic much? Optimism is great, but the truth is better.

The converse of that statement is true as well.

But please, don't try and prevent those who feel used, abused, and have less than safe or desirable working conditions that put their license and patients at risk from venting their frustrations and talking and seeking the advice of others of regarding how to improve their lot because it hurts your feelings.

Just because things are great for you, doesn't mean it's great for everyone else. Nursing isn't all sunshine and puppies.

[Koyaanisqatsi-RN]

Well put. I must say I think I needed that. I am guilty of negatism lately.

Don't get me wrong, like I said in the post itself I need this reminder as well, quite often. It's just part of life, but even particularly so when you do something as stressful as nursing. Nursing and healthcare run in my family, so I know that many people may say that I don't know how "bad" it really can get, but I've seen quite a bit in my day!

We've got to stay positive though, and try and have a little fun, or else we are basically doomed to become the miserable old grumps we always swore would never be us.

So everyone, I'm drawing my circle. If the problem, attitude, person doesn't fit into the circle, wish it well and let it go. You will be much happier and your stress levels will thank you

That's good advice. Another one that has helped me SO MUCH throughout my life has been this:

If something is honestly driving you crazy, and you have no idea how it will ever get better, write it down on a piece of paper and put it away somewhere. Look at it again two weeks later and see if what you wrote is even remotely still relevant in your life. If it is, then you know you should focus on it and try to help or fix it. If not, throw it away and laugh at how bad you felt when you wrote it down originally. :)

[Koyaanisqatsi-RN]

May I recommend the book "Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking has Undermined America" by Barbara Ehrenreich?

I've read it. :) Freud gave us a much more lucid look at society and it's need for delusion / optimism in Civilization and its Discontents, but I digress!

Also:

Dramatic much? Optimism is great, but the truth is better.

Care to tell us how this is true? What is dramatically different about nursing school today than it was before, with specific regard to recruiting, retention, and matriculation practices that weren't in place before?

edit:

Just because things are great for you, doesn't mean it's great for everyone else. Nursing isn't all sunshine and puppies.

Things aren't all great for me. Never have been, never will be. Some of it I can change, some of it I can't. That's the difference between optimism and pessimism. It's simply being able to tell the difference in what you can and can not actually influence in your life.

People aren't hurting my feelings by venting, but it sure as hell makes it tough to sift through all the chaff to find something worth reading some times!

[Fribblet]

I've read it. :) Freud gave us a much more lucid look at society and it's need for delusion / optimism in Civilization and its Discontents, but I digress!

Awesome! No one else I've met has read it.

Care to tell us how this is true? What is dramatically different about nursing school today than it was before, with specific regard to recruiting, retention, and matriculation practices that weren't in place before?

Reread what I quoted.

Things aren't all great for me. Never have been, never will be. Some of it I can change, some of it I can't. That's the difference between optimism and pessimism. It's simply being able to tell the difference in what you can and can not actually influence in your life.

People aren't hurting my feelings by venting, but it sure as hell makes it tough to sift through all the chaff to find something worth reading some times!

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

While I agree perception is reality, I have to agree "eternal optimism" is every bit as poinsonous as negativism.

Since we are throwing around Freud/Confuscious quotes, here is mine:

Optimist says "My glass is half full".

Pesamist says "My glass is half empty".

Realist realizes both are missing the point and says "I'm thirsty" and drinks 1/2 glass of water, leaving the optimist and pesamist with nothing to argue about.

I truly understand where you are coming from. I've had managers who should be shown this thread. Negative negative negative all the time, nothing is ever right. Sour/poisonous personalities to say the least.

At the same time, there are people working in unsafe conditions. Things are being done to make a little more profit that are simply unacceptable. Threads about hot water being shut off during weekends at nursing homes, benefits being "reevaluated" and retirements being lost and many other real life incidents abound.

I was working on a unit recently that thought nothing of giving its night nurses ten patients, all very acute (pulmonary unit), at least half of which were on tele, and pulling our aid to other units hence making us primary care. Now...........unless you are "eternally optimistic" there is just no silver lining there other than dumb luck kept people from dying.

[CVmursenary]

Great post and the video is awesome. I like your style

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

A little preachy. I'm going to bed before the barbs start flying.

[nursel56]

Ahh -geeeze! I thought it was bleepin' hilarious!! Maybe it's late, maybe it's the Aussie accent, I don't know but I don't even want to analyze it's deeper underlying meaning! Thanks Koyaanisqatsi-RN !!