Just whining. Pretty bummed.

SororAKS, ADN, RN · Nov 21, 2015

I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your husband. I wish there was something I could say that would help.

Is there a specific person on the BON that you have to talk to, or could you have an attorney do the talking/send a letter? Sometimes attorneys can get through when we can't. Keep on trying and don't give up.

I have felt like I was in that same punishment loop and that things would never get better. I didn't feel like having hope, but I still kept a small shard of it.

Don't give up. PM me if you need to talk.

Big Blondie, ASN, BSN, MSN, APRN · Nov 21, 2015

When I dealt with tthe board I always called my investigator. She answered her phone. I never had to leave a message. Tx has. Attys that work there also that I called about practice issues and got them the same day. All is in Gods time. Bless you and your family...

dirtyhippiegirl, BSN, RN · Nov 21, 2015

I'm not really motivated enough to spend potentially four-figures to have a lawyer write a letter and push the matter. Do all that & they can just say no, y'know? Bleh. :/ The investigator on my case retired. (Thank god. I only had to talk to her once for about two minutes but she was an awful person.) If we stay in the US or even Canada, I just have to let my program know and keep COC copies on me should I have to test.

CryssyD · Nov 22, 2015

So sorry you're having trouble with the IUI--I haven't been through it myself, but it sounds very frustrating; repeated losses are hard to take.

I think you deserve a vacation! Were you planning to go to several countries, or just stay in one? If you're staying in one, maybe there is some way to arrange out-of-country testing? I know I can be a pie-eyed optimist sometimes, but it may be workable--you won't know if you don't ask!

As far as the BON, pester them! Make them pay attention to you and give you a straight answer in a reasonable time. I know it seems safer not to bother people so they don't get ticked off at you, but they shouldn't be ignoring you, either. You deserve some simple consideration--if the Board isn't there to help nurses with BON-related issues, who is?

I wish you good luck in all things--hang in there!

Omaapecm, ASN, RN · Nov 23, 2015

The good thing about these forums is once you "vent" there really is some sense of relief. At least, it is for me. It sounds like a real crap of a situation but pretty much out of your control. Hopefully your case worker has some compassion. I know in the state of nevada you are allowed 2 weeks of a monitoring interruption however it is only approved if there has been no previous issues. Relapse, missed check in ect..........good luck and keep us posted

dirtyhippiegirl, BSN, RN · Nov 25, 2015

I am going to call again Monday. Maybe someone will be in after the holidays? Although at this point it just seems silly. Would it kill them to take two minutes to call me? Even if it's just a "no" or "we have to talk about it at the next board meeting" or whatever. I hate how small and ignored this makes me feel.

catsmeow1972, BSN, RN · Dec 3, 2015

I'm not sure I have any advice other than the lawyer bit others have put out there. I do know (as does others in our boat) that the BON and these so-called "monitoring" programs honestly do not orbit in the same universe as the rest of humanity. A while back, I had a death in my immediate family. I contacted the program because there was no way I was going to leave my mom at that time. I did get a break but when I asked if I had to still "check in" during this time, the response was "wouldn't want you to get out of that habit." Wut???? Cripes, lady! My grandmother just died. I don't give a **** about that but gee, thanks for your sympathy.

Every day, it appalls me that these programs have such a stranglehold on our lives. I also recently had a medical issue and it just yanks my chain to know that I am a competent medical professional and that I have to compromise my own medical care seemingly at the whims of these clowns who know nothing about me except what some corrupt shrink told them.

Someone in the hidieous "weekly support group" (I use the term support loosely) told me that he thinks I am very angry about this whole thing. Really!? Thank you Captain Obvious!

So far as whining, you go right ahead and whine. That's is what we're here for. And please, as hard as it is, try not to feel small. You are a much bigger, better and stronger person and nurse than these people will ever be.

SororAKS, ADN, RN · Dec 3, 2015

Yes. We all need a place to come and talk when we get aggravated with the various hoops and snafus that seem to be part and parcel of these programs.

It's also very ok to be angry. Hell yes. I was angry yesterday about issues that are very small in comparison to those mentioned in this thread. I was angry but I still stayed focused and dealt with it. Thank goodness I didn't have to deal with any patronizing a******s and I was able to solve the situation in my favor. It isn't the fact that we have anger. What is poison is when those around us come across with the attitude that it's not ok to feel anger or frustration, and we compromise ourselves by suppressing it or denying its existence. I refuse to do either. I also refuse to allow it to paralyze me to the point that I do something ineffective, inappropriate, or detrimental to me. I will get angry, acknowledge its existence, identify the source, try to identify if I can do something about that cause, and identify possible options I have.

What made yesterday difficult was feeling like I didn't have any choices. I nipped that in the bud quickly. Soon I realized I had several things I could do, did the research I needed to do prior, and I did it. Short, sweet and to the point. I'm fortunate that it worked and the situation resolved itself. There have been a few things I've had to deal with, and I've been able to resolve them. Not without feeling nervous at first, not without some feelings of frustration and anger and regret that I even have to go to these lengths to cover myself. But cover myself and proactively fight back I will. Part of what got me where I am was my own failure to do that in a way that was healthy and self sustaining.

Catsmeow1972 good for you. I would have done the same thing you did. If I might offer a word or two about the medical issues though...Don't compromise your own self care or medical care for anyone, especially those folks. You have the right to be assessed and treated, like anyone else. Being in a monitoring program does not change that. I"m sorry you are having a rough time. *HUG*

SororAKS, ADN, RN · Dec 3, 2015

Been thinking about your situation dirtyhippiegirl. How did things turn out?

You most certainly are not small. These agencies are bureaucratic and have all the bs that goes with that. Mine is no different. To help counteract that, I just bug them until I get an answer, as well as doing the best I can to not take it personally.

Even though that makes me angry inside. If we are in recovery, we at least deserve answers to our inquiries. How being ignored really facilitates that I have no idea. To me, it's unacceptable. If I gave that kind of care as a nurse I'd fail my patient and my profession. If I was in charge of a monitoring program or a member of a BON, I'd do everything I could to make sure people get their answers and are treated like human beings. Perhaps that would help more nurses recover and stay in nursing, which would result in better care, improved morbidity and mortality, etc etc. But I digress.

Personally, I think it would be an interesting exercise to either serve on a BON or in a monitoring program as a director. I'd have fun banging some heads and changing policies to deal with nurse substance abuse people with workable, respectful, and individualized care. It might even be enjoyable. I will never forget what I went through and how I ended up in my monitoring program, and I would love the challenge of showing those that work in them a side of things they have no idea about. I'd find it immensely fulfilling to do something like this for my peers that I know struggle every day, and actually see that they had a chance of being treated like a human being.

NurseEmRN · Dec 3, 2015

OMG - "corrupt shrink" !!!! you nailed it- how are these "professionals" even allowed to practice while causing the damage that they do with their " evaluations"

catsmeow1972, BSN, RN · Dec 3, 2015

$$$.....I think that is how they are allowed to continue, as with all of these kinds of programs for nurses and other professionals alike. That, 500mg q6 hours of not caring a bit about anything but themselves plus the fact that the majority of people associated with these programs/treatment centers what have you likely have addiction issues themselves. At my time stuck in that horrid treatment place, with the exception of the couple of licensed counselors, every person with any kind of authority were addicts/alcoholics and in some cases pretty hard core. The liaison between the facility and the monitoring program was in fact a defrocked surgeon whose license had been revoked due to multiple issues with drugs. I think the worldview there is that everyone is addicted to something and you weren't getting out of there until you agreed. Can we say cult indoctrination or what?

Editing because I feel I need to clarify my point about the treatment center personnel being "hardcore" addicts/alcoholics. I did not mean to disparage anyone. What I am questioning is how people (not even nurses, doctors, etc.) that have zero training and their only background is that of addiction/alcoholism, are placed in authority over clients of these places. I find that to be scary.