Adderall addiction

Nurses Recovery

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I am new to this site, this is my first post. I have been desperately searching the web for forums with people who might be able to relate to the despair that I am feeling right now. I am in my 30s and have been an ER nurse for three years, I started in the ER fresh out of nursing school. In school, I was in a very competive nursing program, most of my classmates wanted to get jobs in critical care after graduation. I have always been a high acheiver and push myself as hard as I can to reach my goals. I suddenly found I was having a difficult time focusing in my classes. I had always been a daydreamer but it had never seemed to matter much before. I had been seeing a psychiatrist for years, I had suffered from depression and anxiety since my teens. I was already taking antidepressants but expressed to my doctor that I was having a very difficult time focusing in school. He prescribed Adderall as needed, he informed me that the med was addictive, I didnt think much of it at the time...

It has now been four years since I took my first adderall. Since I began taking it in nursing school, I cannot even imagine being a nurse and not taking it. I have never worked a day as a nurse when I have not been on Adderall. I have tried to start my shifts without taking it and I only make it a few hours until I find myself having to pop another pill. When I don't take it, my mind is foggy and I find myself moving slowly and having difficulty calculating med dosages. I work in a busy ER and I have to be on my toes all the time, I have to think quickly and move quickly, my patient's lives depend on it. I cannot afford to have a slow and foggy mind because if I make a mistake I can kill someone.

I started to find myself very lethargic and unmotivated on my days off from work, so I started to take the Adderall on those days, too. As with any drug, I find myself having to take more of it to get the same effect as before and even then, the effect does not last long. When it wears off I feel moody and immediately want to take more. Now I spend more time coming off of the drug than I do feeling the "good" effects of it. I am living my life from one pill to the next. My doctor continues to prescribe it because he doesnt know that I am feeling this way. I do not tell him because I am terrified he will stop prescribing it and then I would not be able to function at work.

I love my job and I dont want to lose it. Nobody at work knows that I take Adderall. I am sickened that I let this happen to me, knowing that this med was so addictive. I feel so alone and lost right now. I worked so hard to get to where I am in my career, but maybe that is because the adderall gave me the confidence to get to where I am. My entire life I have always been introverted, a bit of a loner that would keep to myself. I was very shy as a child (and as an adult) and was never comfortable meeting new people. When I started taking Adderall I noticed that it was much easier to talk to people. Not only did this drug make me happy and focused, I was able to be more social and engage people in conversation.

I would love to hear from anyone that can possibly relate to this and any advice you might have. Please no criticism, I am hard enough on myself about this, I dont need anyone else to be.

Thank you for listening....

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Just to let y'all know---this thread is 2 years old and the OP has never been back.

Good discussion though. :yes: As a psych patient myself, I agree with TerpGal---when you take psychotropics to treat a medical condition such as ADHD etc. you are going to become physically and psychologically dependent on them. You're supposed to, that's what they're for! They do all sorts of things like replace depleted brain chemicals and help 'rewire' connections......if you're not dependent on them, you're either not ill or you're on the wrong ones.

Hope I'm not too late to offer some help.

Help, Advice, Stories | Quitting Adderall

This site may offer some advice and support, check it out.

I might recommend taking 2 weeks off of PTO or sick leave just to endure the crash without it. Also get your adrenal labs checked out to make sure you're not going through adrenal fatigue. Quit caffeine and other stimulants. There is a good book called "caffeine blues" that talks about the danger of caffeine over time on your adrenals. Start eating organic food and drink lots more water. Non organic food contained trace pesticides that can act as hormones in your body and make it harder to normalize moods a feelings.

I may even recommend going to a naturopath that may have some ideas as well. Check out these supplements: sulbutiamine - modulates dopamine receptors, may help with recovery, l-theanine for calm and sleep, n-acetyl tyrosine, ashwaganda, rhodiola rosea. Don't take them with adderall unless you've done your research and feel comfortable, only start one new supplement at a time.

Start meditating every day, yogani has a book called "deep meditations" that's a good short intro if you're not familiar with meditating.

Let me know if this helped.

Specializes in Outpatient Surgery, Psych, Emergency.

I wonder what happened to this nurse. Their story could have been my story,

It really doesn't sound like your abusing them...

What your experiencing is expected. Most scrips say take once a day, and she's not even doing that, she's been using them prn, it's not like you don't have adhd on your days off.

Hope things are going well for you!

1 Votes

Just wanna remind folks of some clinically important terminological distinctions, since many posts on this thread conflate the terms.

TOLERANCE and even DEPENDENCE do NOT in themselves mean ADDICTION.

By definition, ADDICTION involves psychological cravings for ever-increasing dosages of a drug. Physiological tolerance may, or may not fuel these cravings. Dependence, on the other hand, can be either physical or psychological. Yet even psychological dependence doesn't equate addiction when the effect on which one's dependent is therapeutic.

Again, the 2 necessary conditions for addiction are

1). Psychological craving (for)

2). Perpetually increasing dosages

Whether or how any of this applies to the OP, no one can really say without personally assessing her.

It's just important to use these terms mindfully since they're loaded but confer important, if subtle, distinctions. And addiction is such a complicated topic as is, semantic clarity is essential to communicating anything meaningful about it.

Sorry for the interruption!

Specializes in Med/surg/ortho.

Wow I've been going trough the exact same thing. I started taking adderAl in college to help me study and many years later I find myself needing it just to St out of bed and function normally. Didn't happen overnight but gradually over the years.

Now im in recovery after completing treatment 3 times this past year. Every day is a struggle and some days I don't think I can manage.... but if I want to remain a nurse this is what needs to be done.

my advice to you would be to get help now before your addiction progresses. Get help before something bad happens.

Hey, this is me to a T! I started adderall before nursing school and took it on and off. I loved it, not because it made me "high" but because it genuinely helped and took away my lethargy and inattentiveness. The comedown was awful. Depression, lack of motivation, unable to concentrate.. It was terrible. I could be having a wonderful day with no problems but a comedown would cause me to find a million and one things wrong with my life. I hated it but I was a slave to it because I needed it. I tried everything, lowering the dose, splitting the dose, eating better, etc. but nothing really did much. I tried XR and even vyvanse with only minor differences.

Well fast forward to today and after going into this monitoring program for other medications, I was forced to stop the adderall. At first it sucked but I started to get into a routine where I wasn't taking it and I discovered that I am able to function without it. Some days I miss it, I miss taking it then having that energy to clean and clean or play video games and kick ass or whatever but I DONT miss the horrible side effects, not one bit. I can say that my life is better without it. Every person is different and I'm not going to say "try to stop taking it youll be happier in the long run" but you should know I was in your exact same shoes and am glad I was forced to stop taking it.. PM me if you have any questions

Sorry to say this again but I was surprised when I read this post because what you're going through is EXACTLY what I was struggling with. Take care

Specializes in Med/surg/ortho.

Nice to know I'm not alone.

I honestly hate how there is so much stigma. I have a horrible binge eating disorder been tested for ADHD by a neuropsychologist, and severe depression.  Adderall affects me differently. I sleep, I can actually pay attention to how much I am eating which over eating and having Crohn's disease is not fun. I feel calmer, less depressed, have less emotional outbursts, less thoughts of self harm, and can actually read a full book. I have a chemical imbalance and adderall helps, medication helps. It sounds like your doctor needs to adjust your dosage to every day usage and not as needed.

We are in the medical field, unless you are a holistic nurse how can we tell a patient that they can't take a medication because it has a million side effects when they absolutely need it. I do understand that these medications are abused and addictive but when taken properly and whwn patient is properly diagnosed the medication can help. I'm not a nurse yet but I'm going for my nursing and applying for a job at a hospital and I'm so nervous because I would be fully disabled if I did not take my medication. I'm nervous that I won't be able to get my nursing license or this job if I'm being prescribed adderall.

Rosemary Maxwell said:

I'm nervous that I won't be able to get my nursing license or this job if I'm being prescribed adderall.

I'm a nurse who takes adderall for adhd. You'll be fine. As long as you have current prescription for inevitable positive drug screen, it will never be an issue for yiu

Sam_0896 said:

I'm a nurse who takes adderall for adhd. You'll be fine. As long as you have current prescription for inevitable positive drug screen, it will never be an issue for yiu

I have to disagree. The issue here isn't about if you are addicted to medications, or if you are taking medications as prescribed or getting illegal medications- all that does play a part in the whole thing but it's not the main issue why a nurse has her licensed suspended or revoked. The main issue is whether she is impaired and if she is a threat to the safety of the community. If the nurse is experiencing times where she is not able to function, she is very fatigued and not thinking clearly and she is working- she is a safety concern and that is the main reason the BON gets involved. This is a complicated issue and there are a lot of different things the come to play here but mostly what the BON is concerned with is safety. Patient safety. It doesn't matter if you have a prescription from a doctor or not. If you are impaired at work or coming down from the high and not safe to work - there is a problem. The issue is primarily about whether you are impaired and not able to practice nursing safely.  There are many reasons that cause nurses to be impaired- lack of sleep,  stress, mental illness, emotional problems, trauma, abuse, alcohol, drugs, lack of food, etc. and it really doesn't matter what the cause of the impairment is- if the nurse is not safe to work- she cannot be working. If the nurse has uncontrolled diabetes and she is experiencing altered cognition- she is impaired and should not be working and if she is reported the BON will get involved. So, it really doesn't matter if you have a prescription from a doctor or not it's really about if you are impaired and a safety concern. 

I should add- I am not saying that you are impaired or not. I am really not commenting on anything regarding to anyone here. I am just saying that a prescription for a medication isn't the issue here. A nurse can have a prescription for a medication and still be impaired just the same as a nurse who doesn't have a prescription. 

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