Joseph Campbell said something along the lines of, "The consciousness is changed through trials and tribulations and subsequent illuminating revelations".
Basically, this means that if we experience and deal with difficulties, our perception of reality is different; the way in which we view ourselves, others, and our environment is changed.
Many threads here on allnurses are about new Nurses endeavoring to deal with the pains and sorrows of working as a nurse. Some look for support and camaraderie in order to continue on their journey while others are discouraged and disappointed and want a way out.
One common factor amongst the seasoned Nurses focuses on their ability to adapt in order to brave the hardships of nursing. Some become, to varying degrees, calloused and expend their energies only on endeavors which are more assuredly to have beneficial results. Some are labelled COBs: Crusty Old Bats on the outside with gooey centers; coming across as mean, but good at heart.
Another common trait expressed is a type of personality change. Some have said they started out as naive nurses with Messiah Complexes, for they were young and strong and were going to save the world. Often times, these naive Nurses became pessimistic realists and found ways to deal with stress through changing their approach and personality.
Due to dealing with difficulties, these Nurses experienced illuminating revelations and changed the way in which they viewed themselves, others, and their environment.
Do you feel and believe that you have experienced a personality change since you were a new nurse?
I know that my personality changed from the time I began working as a new Nurse.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
35 minutes ago, NurseBlaq said:
I realized ignoring him would do more damage than any physical harm I could/would do to him.
An interesting concept, NurseBlaq. that I recall learning in October 1979!
I was to be a Houseparent, currently referred to as a Residential Counselor, for "troubled teenage boys", ages 14 to 18, at Anomaly Children's Home. Chatting with an older seasoned Houseparent, JB, who became quite a legend there, we were discussing methods to react to the boys' deviant behavior.
"Sometimes the boys will not follow the rules or pay heed to direction. For example, they may try to leave the facility after curfew. At times like this, I say, 'Okay- then you'll suffer the consequences of your actions.'
Even if I have no idea of what ramifications will occur, I use that line because, in their imagination, they can come up with ramifications far worse than any repercussions that I can come up with to use."
An illuminating revelation which changed my consciousness occurred as a result of that chat. I used that concept numerous times in my career as a psych nurse: Let the Patient know that if they, for example, threaten harm, then they'll have to deal with the ramifications of their actions.
Ignoring someone, as you do with your Ex, NurseBlaq, allows him to have to deal with himself. People who are in emotional pain often hurt others in order to get a negative reaction. A negative reaction will divert their emotional pain for bit; it'll feed the monkey on their back.
When no reaction is given, they only have themselves and their emotional pain with which to deal. And like you stated, that is far worse than anything you could/would do.
Since my working years have spanned two very different careers I would say that my personality is as it is today more because of life and experience in general than anything from nursing specifically. (Aside from the fact that my family members would now need to practically amputate limb in order to get a band-aid or much concern from me.) I think life has brought challenges, successes and disappointments in so many areas I've learned to let a lot more things go. Not that I've mastered it, and the state of my unit at work has still caused me to go on some recent rants, but I find that I can better find the line between what I need to get worked up about and what I don't. I've never been a very emotional person outwardly, I have only a few friends with whom I share a real connection, and I think that maybe this past year with COVID has highlighted for me that I could benefit from being a little less closed off, so I'm working on it.
Guilty! ?
6 minutes ago, Davey Do said:
An interesting concept, NurseBlaq. that I recall learning in October 1979!
I was to be a Houseparent, currently referred to as a Residential Counselor, for "troubled teenage boys", ages 14 to 18, at Anomaly Children's Home. Chatting with an older seasoned Houseparent, JB, who became quite a legend there, we were discussing methods to react to the boys' deviant behavior.
"Sometimes the boys will not follow the rules or pay heed to direction. For example, they may try to leave the facility after curfew. At times like this, I say, 'Okay- then you'll suffer the consequences of your actions.'
Even if I have no idea of what ramifications will occur, I use that line because, in their imagination, they can come up with ramifications far worse than any repercussions that I can come up with to use."
An illuminating revelation which changed my consciousness occurred as a result of that chat. I used that concept numerous times in my career as a psych nurse: Let the Patient know that if they, for example, threaten harm, then they'll have to deal with the ramifications of their actions.
Ignoring someone, as you do with your Ex, NurseBlaq, allows him to have to deal with himself. People who are in emotional pain often hurt others in order to get a negative reaction. A negative reaction will divert their emotional pain for bit; it'll feed the monkey on their back.
When no reaction is given, they only have themselves and their emotional pain with which to deal. And like you stated, that is far worse than anything you could/would do.
And if you know anything about narcissism, they're never wrong, literally ever! It's always someone else fault with them. Now, he has to own whatever his latest lie is and I have no parts of it whatsoever. I had to train myself to ignore him as if my last breath depended on it.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Your entire post was one healthy read, JKL.
20 minutes ago, JKL33 said:
I do think I have moved on from having to conscientiously work very hard to combat the negative parts of my "natural" personality to where some empowered yet softened down/more kind version actually feels better and is becoming second nature. So maybe that is a personality change.
This sounds like the perspective of an intelligent higher conscious person.
We all use what we know works best for us, and our methods are not always healthy endeavors. For example, even self-destructive pursuits relieve pain.
We all have to deal with our own personal demons, as you so aptly put, combat the negative parts of our personality. But not all of us make the decision to, again aptly stated, empower ourselves through changing our natural approach.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
31 minutes ago, JBMmom said:
Not that I've mastered it, and the state of my unit at work has still caused me to go on some recent rants... I've never been a very emotional person outwardly
A wake up call atypically from someone who doesn't often rant can be quite resounding, JBMmom.
Sometimes we just need to use what works in order to achieve a desired goal.
Can any of you recall a specific pivotal point in your lives when you realized that the high road is the better road?
That one is easy. I was 13 when I clearly realized for the first time that there was a difference between naturally fitting in with the culture at church and making choices based on what Jesus Christ requires of me.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Just now, Kitiger said:
That one is easy. I was 13 when I clearly realized for the first time that there was a difference between naturally fitting in with the culture at church and making choices based on what Jesus Christ requires of me.
Wow. Quite an epiphany for an adolescent, Kitiger!
Was this due to a specific situation, or a general observation/ contemplation thing?
Wow. Quite an epiphany for an adolescent, Kitiger!
Was this due to a specific situation, or a general observation/ contemplation thing?
It was due to a sermon that clearly pointed this out. I chose to follow Jesus. That means I chose to do my best to obey Jesus. I became a Christian that day. (I could go through and explain what a Christian is and how to become one, but that, perhaps, belongs on a different thread.)
Colossians 3:12-14 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
9 hours ago, Kitiger said:
It was due to a sermon that clearly pointed this out.
A conscious-changing moment when the world became a different place and now there is a known direction. Everything seems to fall in place from there.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Kitiger.
Your post caused me to consider the subject of this thread. Perhaps the subject isn't really about our personalities, but our consciousness.- the way in which we view the world.
Specializes in Physiology, CM, consulting, nsg edu, LNC, COB.
On 6/6/2021 at 10:25 AM, NurseBlaq said:
Dealing with my narcissistic ex, I didn't kill him! I realized ignoring him would do more damage than any physical harm I could/would do to him. Years later and he's still seething.
Same here. He was ripped when four yrs after we divorced that I married a wonderful man (who was more successful in business than he was, largely because he wasn’t a narcissistic jerkwad) and have gone on to more than 3 decades of a very happy life.
Karma intervened: #1 is now dxd c vascular dementia. If I were a better person, I wouldn’t be so tickled. #2 makes me the envy of all my friends.
My turning point was when I learned never to fear to say the truth- that wasn’t a safe option c #1, but it’s the only way for #2 and me now.
Davey Do
10,666 Posts
An interesting concept, NurseBlaq. that I recall learning in October 1979!
I was to be a Houseparent, currently referred to as a Residential Counselor, for "troubled teenage boys", ages 14 to 18, at Anomaly Children's Home. Chatting with an older seasoned Houseparent, JB, who became quite a legend there, we were discussing methods to react to the boys' deviant behavior.
"Sometimes the boys will not follow the rules or pay heed to direction. For example, they may try to leave the facility after curfew. At times like this, I say, 'Okay- then you'll suffer the consequences of your actions.'
Even if I have no idea of what ramifications will occur, I use that line because, in their imagination, they can come up with ramifications far worse than any repercussions that I can come up with to use."
An illuminating revelation which changed my consciousness occurred as a result of that chat. I used that concept numerous times in my career as a psych nurse: Let the Patient know that if they, for example, threaten harm, then they'll have to deal with the ramifications of their actions.
Ignoring someone, as you do with your Ex, NurseBlaq, allows him to have to deal with himself. People who are in emotional pain often hurt others in order to get a negative reaction. A negative reaction will divert their emotional pain for bit; it'll feed the monkey on their back.
When no reaction is given, they only have themselves and their emotional pain with which to deal. And like you stated, that is far worse than anything you could/would do.