Nurse with a condescending attitude - rant

Nurses Relations

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Most of the nurses I speak with are nice. A few are kind of rude, but not enough for me to really care.

Today, the ED was beyond busy. I don't ever expect the nurses to chat with me or anything. I ask them simple questions(Can so-and-so have a visitor?), only when necessary. I also don't expect them to be chipper or anything. Just answer my question as good as you can. That's all I ask.

However, this extended triage nurse was just flat out rude. We (the ED visitor services employee and I) went into the extended triage area to try and locate a patient. This was only after 1 hour, and his family had been up every 15 minutes. They really wanted to know where he was or what was going on. Understandable.

Typically, patients don't get visitors in the extended triage. We wait until they get a room. But considering how busy we were, there was a good chance they weren't getting a room. Their triage room was going to be there room. So the nurses had been letting us bring visitors.

We never ask a nurse questions when they are with a patient, we wait until they are out of the room. We ask this nurse if they knew where Mr. Jones was. She goes, "What do you mean? Is he in triage? Is he in minor care?" My co-worker states that he was in triage, not minor care. She says, "Well I don't know. Are you sure he isn't in minor care?" She just had this real snarky tone. Just flat out attitude. Condescending and rude. She was clearly talking down to my co-worker as if my co-worker didn't know anything. My co-worker has been there for years. She knows what she is doing. We walked away. I know it's hard to see an attitude through text, but she was just beyond rude and nasty. I don't know how else to put it.

My co-worker is so sweet and beyond polite to this chick. The funny thing is, we were in the room next to this nurse before we asked her the question, and she was so polite to the patient, yet she talks down to us.

So my co-worker says that nurse is like that all the time. What the heck. Isn't there someone she can be reported to? I'm sorry, I just don't think it's acceptable to talk down to a co-worker. Ever. I don't think employees should have to put up with that crap. I don't care that we aren't nurses. We're all on the same team here.

How would you approach someone like that and what would you say to let them know you will not accept their condescending attitude? I think she needs to be approached before being reported. What would you do in this situation? It's obviously going to keep happening. She isn't going anywhere, and neither am I, nor my co-worker. She needs to act like a professional, not a b****.

I should've never started this thread because none of you will ever understand the level of rudeness. It just can't apply in text form. This wasn't an attitude. This wasn't snippy. This isn't rude. This is beyond rude.

This is talking to a person as if they are the lowest of the low or the scum of the earth. My coworker does avoid her at all costs because she always treats her as if she is below the bedbugs.

the point of my post, was you have the right to call her on it.

there's nothing stopping you from directly telling her: "there's no reason for you to be so _____________ with me."

don't be accusatory, or emotional...just short and to the point.

then let it go.

do not give her permission to have this effect on you.

feel better, happy.

leslie

That's what makes it tough. Hospitals make these policies that end up making more work and stress for the nurses to deal with. Who knows though, this nurse could be rude by nature. Just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt :). But regardless, try not to take her comments to heart because I'm sure it's not just you she's mean to!

I agree.

From what I hear she is rude by nature, I've only had a few encounters. Most rude, but this is many steps above that. Which is why I wouldn't say anything to her until it happens again (on that level.)

I don't take them to heart, but I think it bothered my coworker. I just don't think its right, at any company or in any business.

I should've never started this thread because none of you will ever understand the level of rudeness. It just can't apply in text form. This wasn't an attitude. This wasn't snippy. This isn't rude. This is beyond rude.

This is talking to a person as if they are the lowest of the low or the scum of the earth. My coworker does avoid her at all costs because she always treats her as if she is below the bedbugs.

So maybe she's really just not a nice person and thinks she is better than others. We are all here to do a job, including the volunteers who graciously offer their time. Sometimes if you speak up to people like that and let them know you won't tolerate them, they back down. Obviously people who work there tolerate her behavior and choose not to do anything about it.

the point of my post, was you have the right to call her on it.

there's nothing stopping you from directly telling her: "there's no reason for you to be so _____________ with me."

don't be accusatory, or emotional...just short and to the point.

then let it go.

do not give her permission to have this effect on you.

feel better, happy.

leslie

Thank you.

I didn't know, since I was a volunteer, if I was overstepping a boundary by calling her out on it.

So maybe she's really just not a nice person and thinks she is better than others. We are all here to do a job, including the volunteers who graciously offer their time. Sometimes if you speak up to people like that and let them know you won't tolerate them, they back down. Obviously people who work there tolerate her behavior and choose not to do anything about it.

That's true. Then I definitely feel sorry for the nurses, doctors, and pca's that have to deal with her on a regular basis

Specializes in CVICU, Obs/Gyn, Derm, NICU.
I agree.

From what I hear she is rude by nature, I've only had a few encounters. Most rude, but this is many steps above that. Which is why I wouldn't say anything to her until it happens again (on that level.)

I don't take them to heart, but I think it bothered my coworker. I just don't think its right, at any company or in any business.

'Rudeness' has a subjective component.

Offhand and direct can be rude to some people ...not so rude to others.

You need to have a quick chat with her and clear it up .... and stop taking this kinda stuff to heart.

If she was abusive ..... then that is different and you should report it.

Like I said ...everyone pulls together on very busy days ....they don't get upset with a little bit of curtness ...they understand that it is very busy (you said there were 10 MVA's in 2 hrs) and that it is stressful

'Rudeness' has a subjective component.

Offhand and direct can be rude to some people ...not so rude to others.

You need to have a quick chat with her and clear it up .... and stop taking this kinda stuff to heart.

If she was abusive ..... then that is different and you should report it.

Like I said ...everyone pulls together on very busy days ....they don't get upset with a little bit of curtness ...they understand that it is very busy (you said there were 10 MVA's in 2 hrs) and that it is stressful

I would say she was on the line of abusive. Had we not walked away, it very likely would have turned into verbal abuse.

There were 10 MVA's, all lucky to be alive. 2 were rollovers. But they never actually go into the triage area, at least the area where this nurse was working today. It's just the way our ED is set up. Most went into the pods, which other nurses are assigned to. Only one went into her section, and that was due to overflow. The hospital, for the most part, is very organized with how the ED functions.

Specializes in CVICU.

I don't care what your position is or what the position is of the person who got rude and obnoxious is, there's no excuse for that kind of condescending behavior at all. This is lateral violence and it's unacceptable. I don't care how busy you are, you do not talk to another coworker or really, anyone, this way.

Personally, I would have said to her at the time of the incident, "You will not talk to me that way again. If you can't speak to me politely, we can discuss it with your supervisor." and walked away if she didn't respond in an appropriate manner. There are an awful lot of bullies who will treat everyone they consider beneath them like crap until you call them on it.

Specializes in CVICU, Obs/Gyn, Derm, NICU.
I would say she was on the line of abusive. Had we not walked away, it very likely would have turned into verbal abuse.

There were 10 MVA's, all lucky to be alive. 2 were rollovers. But they never actually go into the triage area, at least the area where this nurse was working today. It's just the way our ED is set up. Most went into the pods, which other nurses are assigned to. Only one went into her section, and that was due to overflow. The hospital, for the most part, is very organized with how the ED functions.

Resources are frequently rearranged during very busy times ....I don't think it's possible for you to know how her workload was impacted. Quite possibly she was without a float to help her. Doctors would be busy with the trauma and couldn't process the backlog of p'ts that were building up.

Again ....why are you so quick to judge this very busy nurse ....doing a job that not-so-many other people could do?

Triage is one of the most stressful jobs in the hospital (responsibility and liability ++) .... I hate it when outsiders think they know all about our job

Resources are frequently rearranged during very busy times ....I don't think it's possible for you to know how her workload was impacted. Quite possibly she was without a float to help her. Doctors would be busy with the trauma and couldn't process the backlog of p'ts that were building up.

Again ....why are you so quick to judge this very busy nurse ....doing a job that not-so-many other people could do?

Triage is one of the most stressful jobs in the hospital (responsibility and liability ++) .... I hate it when outsiders think they know all about our job

I really don't understand why you feel the need to attack me. I never judged her. Where did you get that? You do not know how our hospital and triage are set up, so yes, I do know she was not helping with any of the MVA's. I never said she wasn't busy. I know she was busy. I am in the waiting room where there are no seats. I see how many patients are waiting to be triaged or are in triage.

Since when is being busy justify verbal abuse? I think it's a shame that you seem to think it's okay to talk to people like that.

I don't need to defend myself to you. I don't like when you judge me and call me an "outsider." Clearly you have the same mentality as her as if you are better than me. You don't know it all either. You weren't there.

God made us all equal. Your license does not make you better than me.

I'm going to kindly ask you leave my thread before continuing with your attacks.

I really don't understand why you feel the need to attack me. I never judged her. Where did you get that? You do not know how our hospital and triage are set up, so yes, I do know she was not helping with any of the MVA's. I never said she wasn't busy. I know she was busy. I am in the waiting room where there are no seats. I see how many patients are waiting to be triaged or are in triage.

Since when is being busy justify verbal abuse?

I'm going to kindly ask you leave my thread before continuing with your attacks. I don't need to defend myself to you. I don't like when you judge me. You don't know it all either.

Hey now. You do not dictate who is allowed to post in a thread in an open forum.

Just because a poster does not agree with you or expresses opinions contrary to yours, just not mean a personal attack has been made.

In regards to judgements: None of us were there. You're asking us to judge a nurse based on your interpretation of events which is inherently biased. So, when other people extrapolate possibilities, scenarios, and the possibility that you might be biased, it is the same judgement you are asking for.

Chill out.

I don't care if you disagree with my opinion, but you don't need to call me judgmental to make a point.

I came on here asking for opinions on a situation, not for people to try and assess me through the internet. I didn't ask you to judge a nurse Fribblet. I asked for advice as what you would do in that situation.

If someone is going to attack me I'm going to report them. I have the right to do that.

It's good to see how some of you take the side of someone who is attacking me.

Geez. I think my time at allnurses may be up.

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