Would you marry a Doctor?

Nurses Relations

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Im new to this site and have been looking around. I was pretty shocked to read so many nurses saying they would never with a capital N, marry a DR? Are you kidding me? I would love nothing more to fall in love with and marry an intelligent, powerful, rich man who I have something in common with (healthcare). In fact, that would be like a dream come true for me. I dont get it???

Specializes in ED/ ICU.

My husband is a doctor and we work at the same hospital. He is an emergency room physician which affords us a more normal life since he works only specific scheduled hours and no "on-call". Working in a community hospital helps too, very few of the doctors we work with have big ego's and all the nurses, doctors and staff are more like family. We had just as many paramedics, housekeepers, and support staff at our wedding as we did doctors and nurses. I certainly never thought I would be married to a doctor, but truthfully I hardly think of myself like that now--he's just my husband.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i will be exposed to lots of drs. and i would love it if i ended up marrying one! so what!, what is the big deal ladies!? i do fully admit that one of the attributes/requirements of any man i date is that he has the potential to be an excellent provider, however, that doesnt make one a 'gold-digger' at all. im quite capable of financially supporting myself and i happen to believe that all women should be able to, i just happen to not want to. i much rather focus my time and attention on my children.

i thought the definition of gold digger was someone who was looking for an "excellent provider" to support them. perhaps i have it all wrong?

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

i've known physicians who were looking for "trophy wives" to help them pay back their medical school loans and to give them a leg up on the society scene. most of them were successful in bagging a "trophy wife" but none of them stayed happily married. two are still married, but both of them cheat.

i've known nurses who were looking to marry physicians, or even physicians of a specific specialty. most of them are still single although they've all had affairs with numerous physicians -- some of whom were already married.

looking for a mate based on a specific career or earning potential strikes me as shallow. there are a lot better reasons to "go after" someone and marry them -- sterling character, honesty, trustworthiness and a sense of honor seem to me to be better reasons to want to share a life with someone than money or prestige. but that's just me. your milage may vary and the op's obviously does!

Specializes in CVICU, Obs/Gyn, Derm, NICU.
I can only imagine you made your posting to stir us up. You're a nursing student, is that right? Once you have being working as a Registered Nurse and experience first hadn the disregard and disrespect Doctors have for, and treat Nurses with, you will understand why many, if not all, Nurses are so opposed to the idea of marrying a Doctor. As well as the fact that, as you will come to realise in your real practice, Doctors don't become Doctors because they want to care for or help people. Most do it for the status, prestige and money, and because they believe it makes them a superior person.

And let me give you a tip, Doctors may chase Nurses skirts, but you'll be lucky if they marry you. That would be far to degrading for them. They'd rather marry another Doctor or Pharmacist. I've seen many a young nurse be swept of their feet by the recently divorced Consultant, or the new Resident, and then the crying when they move on. Or the sad older nurses who make them selves up everyday, but have never landed "their Doctor".

But good on you for having a bizarre and fantastical view of Doctors, and your future working relations with them.

Many of my nurse coworkers and friends are married to doctors ... nothing unusual for my 'older nurse' generation.

However I have noticed that the newer doctors tend to marry other doctors rather than nurses.

Most of the doctors I work with, and know socially, are top people. I think your depiction of them is rather harsh

Specializes in CVICU, Obs/Gyn, Derm, NICU.
Im new to this site and have been looking around. I was pretty shocked to read so many nurses saying they would never with a capital N, marry a DR? Are you kidding me? I would love nothing more to fall in love with and marry an intelligent, powerful, rich man who I have something in common with (healthcare). In fact, that would be like a dream come true for me. I dont get it???

Doctors are not 'powerful and rich' LOL

They are highly educated professionals who usually have a comfortable upper-middle class lifestyle.

Donald Trump , Bill Gates and Larry Ellison are rich and powerful ... and others like them

Such sexism here.......of course I'd marry HER! LOL

As a somewhat new nurse, 2 years in, I had the passing thoughts...Oooo a Dr., but at this point in the game I realize, they are not "powerful" or "rich" (well richer then I am but after 12+ yrs of schooling and residency, and 100000+ in college expenses)...and not always "intelligent". They are working class just like nurses, dedicating themselves to the profession of service to people. If anything marry a "Dr" because you have fallen in love with his or her personality and kindness, not his or her initials or bank account. And where does the deifinition of "powerful" come into play. A dr. can write prescriptions and make diagnoses, but I disagree with defining their job description as "powerful". We as nurses need to stick together and stand assertive and educated, alongside of our co-workers, and keep advancing our profession.

Specializes in Emergency Nursing.

Intelligent... let's hope they have some common sense intelligence, or how about emotional intelligence...

Powerful... maybe if they have 30 years experience and are on the board of directors at the hospital. Otherwise they will get crapped on like everyone else. And of course, they are only as powerful as the staff that carries out their directives.

Rich... LOL in 20 years when you pay off your medical school loans!!!

"I'm heading to nursing school and my almost-fiance is heading to med school. So yes, I would." Quoted by MsChloe

Well report back to us 1yr into nursing school on the status of you and your almost-fiance.

In an effort to not sound TOTALLY condescending, I really hope your career goals will keep both parties interested beyond the stress and strife. But back in nursing school, I believe there were 15 or so married women and 3 married men in my class. 7 of the 15 separated and 3 actually got a divorce, during nursing school. Now, only one was married to an EMT, everyone else's spouses had regular careers. The 3 married men??? One dropped out the nursing program because his spouse couldn't handle the stress and he was afraid to lose his wife, although he desperately wanted to be a nurse. The other two, who were married to RN's already, both were cheating on their spouses with the single women in our class. Apparently, the "reason" given when asked on the cheating was that although their wives were nurses, it seems they had forgotten what it was like to be a student. After, "using" their spouses to carry them through school, they also divorced. All the single, but dating people were either no longer dating the same individual or not dating period. So, dating or being married to someone in the same field doesn't necessarily hold a relationship together, as opposed to dating ppl in opposing careers. No one should become a nurse to hopefully gain a rich doctor for a husband. Nor strategically work in a hospital to mingle either. Meet a man and date him for his character and how much he respects you, whether he's a doctor or the guy in environmental. POINT BLANK!

Yes, I will be sure to report back on that.

I answered the question, which was, "Would you marry a doctor." Since I am planning, heaven forbid anything horrible happens, to marry a man who will be a doctor, I answered that yes, I would. Just because the people in your class were cheaters or unable to mantain a relationship does not mean that I can't handle it.

Specializes in Hospice, ONC, Tele, Med Surg, Endo/Output.

If you are the type of person who needs a doctor to marry to feel superior then marry one. Also marry a doctor if you like to be lonely, like being second fiddle to his patients, like to be interupted during meals, movies, etc...In the eyes of everyone the doctor will be more important and more intelligent than you are. Not all doctors are powerful, either. Some are out of control alcoholic, jerks who like to squash those beneath them. And they are always tempted by young, pretty nurses who are naive, but can drag a doctor away from his wife. Even if he doesn't have an affair he is constantly scoping out the females he works with. Just a few compliments from a nurse could land your doctor- husband in bed with a manipulative female. Enjoy the ride.

Specializes in ER, progressive care.

NO THANK YOU!

I love my soldier...proud army wife here!!

:prdmltywf::D:heartbeat

I've dated a few docs, one anesthesiologist I met at the Apple store while we were waiting for our computers to be fixed (we only dated for a few months) and one neuroradiologist I met at the bar of my favorite restaurant (we ended up dating for about 1 1/2 years). I also happen to know a few doctors as friends...and wow, the guys love working that, "I'm a doctor" angle!!

The guys I dated were nice and respectful, and, not being in nursing school at the time, I found it flattering that these guys were interested in me. However, as nice as they were, there was still this air of superiority I didn't like. Maybe it was in my head, but I always felt like they thought they were a little better than me.

Now that I'm almost done with nursing school, I don't think I'd date a doc again. I might date a nurse, but I'd love to marry a teacher or a computer guy or someone who doesn't know about the medical field. I don't want my whole life to be medicine related. When I leave the hospital for the night, I don't want to talk about medicine anymore, I'm done. I also don't want someone who is always as tired as I am! I mean, if I fell in love with someone and they happened to be a doctor then maybe, but I wouldn't date them based on that. And I don't think I'd ever date someone who worked at the same hospital I did! But if you see yourself being happy dating or marrying a doctor, then go for it! You'll never know until you try it! Good luck!

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