Why so closed minded? WHY?

mark_LD_RN · Jul 30, 2002

matts mom i stand by my last post, it is you who is controlling and very angry sounding. I alaways put my patients first, i never once said other wise . i have no agenda except to provide the best care possible to my patients. you are more than welcome to your opinion, but you should stop projecting it on others, you are attempting to speak for all patients not just for yourself. I am sure if you were a manager of an ob unit you would be one to stand in my way due to your opinion. that does not seem to be inthe patients best interest to me. i have patients that prefer me over females often your prejudgement and closed mindedness actually would hurt them and limit the care they recieve. so you claiming to be a patient advocate is not totally true! I never force a patient to let me be there nurse if they request another nurse i wish them well tell them good luck and move on. I am not here to change the world but just to do what i love and that is care for my patients. i will state again that i never ever had a problem with a female patient rejecting my care. i do not go to work to make people love me or to think i am the best. I want to be the best nurse ever (male or female) and i work hard to be that. but in no way am i bragging as you seem to think, i am just pointing out how much my patients like me. So you see your statment that males prefer males and females prefer females is mistaken! it my be you personal preference but not every ones and you have no right to speak for ever one. you should learn to aviod absolutes like always,never, and always, there is exceptions to ever rule.

you are not attempting to just offer your opinion but suggest that all patients think like you and that is incorcet. i suggest you go back and read your posts and see. also go back and read any of my posts on this topic and point out where i said i would make a patient have me as their nurse or that i am better than females. i have no agenda just in your eyes you are implying that i have one.

i still think you need to wake up and open your eyes, to the facts, your opinion in not shared by all, if you wer e my patient i would gladly let you chose another nurse

and another thing i am not insecure if i was i would not be able to do what i do, i definitely do not suffer from narcicism. you may have been a nurse for 25 yrs, thinks have changed and it is time to accet it or move on. you are welcome to your opinion but not welcome to force your views on others, or to discriminate against others for any reason.

It is wrong for a nurse or hospital to hold one back due to discrimination, it should not be encouraged at all. I am sure you do not know the feeling of discrimination, if you did maybe you would be more symapathetic, but i doubt it i am sure you will remain closed minded to the end.

mattsmom81 · Jul 30, 2002

Are you for real Mark LD RN? Just wondering..... what do the rest of the LD RN's around here think???

I wonder now if the nurses who warn their female patients you are coming might be on the right track, based on what I READ here..

Now...granted it's hard to 'see' people on these boards, and understand what they are really trying to convey, so I wil try to give you the benefit of the doubt.

Mark, if you are really a nurse, I hope you DO consider your patient's comfort level in your care of patients, as you say you do...or you may be in for a world of hurt with accusations down the road. Just a friendly piece of advice from someone who IS a nurse, and has close friends and coworkers (Male and female) who are nurses.

Your feeling of 'discrimination' against you in LD are also of concern....maybe you should see someone about that.

Now...if my opinions (which were in response to what YOU wrote) bug you, just ignore me. I just love that ignore feature.....

mark_LD_RN · Jul 31, 2002

well mattsmom it is not your opinion that bothers me just nurses like you with closed minds!

i would love to know what you read here that makes you think the nurses are right to warn patients of my coming. no one has a right to do that.

you know as well as i do that discrimination is hard to fight especially when you are out numbered.

and i am a nurses and have many friends who are nurses also

YOU can go back and read this thread and others along this topic and see what most L&D nurses think about me and males in general.

I have no real concern for your close minded opinion. let me REPEAT what i said: I do not like nurses to disriminate against others for gender or any other reason. and do not think males should be treated any differently or prevented from practicing in any area of their chossing. I see you have REAL problem admitting when YOU are wrong!

as far as ignoring you i rather enjoy seeing your close minded views spread around here. it just proves what i have been saying all along.

i will promise you i am not in for a world of hurt down the road from accusations. I do not live in fear of that at all. my patients appreciate me and that is all that matters, people like you will never prevent me from doing what i want, if you are a nurse you will fall by the way side as will other nurses that are as closed minded and hateful as you are.

you started the ugly attitude and accusations. and the projection of your opinion as the opinion of all females. You need a little more education to realize you are not the appointted spokes person for ALL women as you think you are.

as far as the discrimination thing just imagine how you would feel if some one told you you could only care for female patients or only work in a particular area because you are female or for any other reason. can you view things from another persons perspective? or would you even care?

Hope this makes you think, but then again it really does not matter. since you are of the minority here. Thank god most nurses are not like you and are willing to be open minded and at least let a fellow coworker have a chance to pursue the career of their choice.

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Jul 31, 2002

I do not have a preference of gender in regards to my nurses, but I do have a preference of females as far as the MDs/NPs that provide care for me. While I currently have a male Internist, he has done a great deal to earn my trust.

I was a virgin (and not merely technically) until I was 25. I never had a male MD that didn't express surprise (Are you sure you know what sex is?), condescention (You are too pretty for that.), or make rude comments in regards to this. They were also rather rude and less than gentle w/pap smears (It doesn't hurt that much). Female health care providers have always!!!! been kinder.

Dayray, RN · Jul 31, 2002

caroladybelle

Ack im sorry that happend to you =( that was just plain bad taste on the part of those doctors.

slinkeecat · Jul 31, 2002

I really do not care if the nurse who is caring for me or my family is male/female/hermaphrodite....

What I do care about is that the NURSE takes care of me or my family's needs with a conscienous realm of maintaining my dignity and health.

I would have no problem with Mark or Deb caring for me.

Gender is not a big thing to ME. Being a capable, skillful, caring nurse is more important then the position of your toilet seat in my OPINION!!!!!!

hollybear · Jul 31, 2002

I have had just the opposite experience. i have had several ob/gyn docs, male and female and of them all the males have been the best. had one excellent female doc the other 2 were horrible and rough. My first male ob that delivered my first child was so kind and gentle. he was even crying when i was in pain during childbirth. i can still remember him saying" please let me get you something to help with the pain i can not take seeing you like this" he meet us at the hospital and stayed their with us for all 12 hours of labor and delivery. he was absolutely an awsome doc and human being.

as far as male nurses go i also prefer them to care for me, i must admit at first i was a little nervous and wondered if it was ok. i am so glad i was open minded enough to let them be my nurse they were so much more kinder and gentler that the females i had. they were professional at all times and took the time to care and treat me as a person.

when i went to nursing school my instuctor for ob and peds was a male, all the patients loved him as well. I worked as a travel nurse and have had the opportunity to work with a few male L&D nurses and even worked with 3 male certified nurse midwives. I have the utmost respect for them they were great with the patients, they stayed at their sides comforting them rubbing backs,feet, getting cols towels for them etc. always were so calm and talked so nice to the patients , their patients were so relaxed around them that i was amazed. i was able to learn a lot from them. I have also encouraged my husband to be a nurse. his desire is to work L&D and become a midwife. he has less than a yr to go to get his BSN. I think he will make a great nurses also. so far his patients love him. i have had the pleasure to watch him during his L&D rotation they did at my hospital. he treated his patients just like he would treat me, he would do anything to help them. some even asked if he could stay till they delivered , which he did.

i think male nurses are great , you all will always have my support as well as all my coworkers. he already has 2 L&D job offers waiting on him when he graduates. I am so proud of him.

keep up the good work guys the majority of nurses support you.

mark_LD_RN · Jul 31, 2002

sorry carolladybelle that you hadthat kind of experience.but dont paint with such a broad brush. using absolutes like always,never,etc. not all females are kind and not all males or non caring. I never tell my patints that it dont hurt that much. pain is what my patient says it is. and as far as the other inapproriate comments he was way out of line, but female docs also jump to the same conclusions. my oldest daughter used to see a female ob. she told her the same things about being a virgin when she was 20. my daughter came home crying because of the comments this doc told her. so you see it is not just a male thing.

thanks holly bear for the support, we need more nurses like you. Thanks again to all the nurses here and all over that have supported me and other male nurses. we are all professionals and i know we can get along if we just try:)

SmilingBluEyes · Jul 31, 2002

I said this before; perhaps it bears repeating here. the BEST damn labor nurse I had when I had my daughter 3 years ago was a MAN. He was an Air Force RN (captain, I believe) and his name was Kent. I was in preterm labor and having to go in for NST's (non-stress tests, for non-ob types) and cervical checks twice a week for a few weeks. And I tell you, that gets VERY old. Well when this guy checked me, I SWEAR I NEVER KNEW HE was DOING IT TIL HE WAS DONE. He was so gentle, professional and soft-spoken. He ROCKED!

I admit, I wondered what made a male want to be an OB nurse til I was under his care. Then, it occured to my very much behind-the-times little brain, that it really did not matter the gender, age, race, religious background, etc. the nurse was taking care of me or my family. What mattered was the professionalism and desire to be a TRUE patient advocate.

In MY book, Kent was all that (and the bag of chips). Changed my WHOLE perspective on what a "male Ob nurse" could be. I am a believer! (and an OB nurse, myself, who has patterned her own cervical checks after KENT's!).:)

mark_LD_RN · Jul 31, 2002

thanks SMIling blue eyes: I was hoping a few nurses would write back in support. :).

that all i ask for nurses and people is to just give me a chance ,at they soon see that i am not so bad, might even be pretty good,:)

thanks again

SmilingBluEyes · Jul 31, 2002

Mark, you sound a lot like Kent to me. If you really are, then you have to be ONE AWESOME OB nurse. Keep on doing what you do and slowly, with the advent of nurses like you, minds will be changed. Like anything else, it takes time.

I also agree, among our ranks really, there is NOT room for discrimination. We really DO need to be examples to our patients and the public if we expect nursing as a whole to EVER garner the respect it deserves as a profession! In my opinion, your female colleagues who "warn" patients of your coming on are setting things up in a *VERY* negative way and unduly stressing them out! They need to THINK! They *should* enter the patients' room WITH you and say: "This is Mark, and he is the RN who is assuming your care. He will be with you for the next 12 hours and anything you need, just ask; you will be in good hands!" I give all my patients I am leaving this or a similar introduction. It sets the right tone and also sets MINDS AT EASE, since often, change of shift/nurses is a stressful time for labor patients, who are very needy.

I think them warning the patients that you are MALE quite unprofessional and unfair. anyhow, Your points here, to me, are very well-taken. I am sorry you have to endure this discrimination at all from your own colleagues. It is purely wrong in my book. But as I am sure you will do anyway, Hang in there----I am a BELIEVER! Others will be, too as they enter your care.

Dayray, RN · Aug 1, 2002

Thanks too everyone who have made positive comments =) I'm sorry that I have been paying so much attention to the negative posts. I really really apreiciate the support. I love my job and I dont think I would be doing what I do, were it not for the support of nurses on this board and in real life

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU