Why so closed minded? WHY? - page 6

Worked with a male nurse the other night. This nurse is agency and has worked at our facility for some time. He always gives good pt care and is helpful to the aides and other nurses. As I took V.S.... Read More

  1. by   slinkeecat
    I really do not care if the nurse who is caring for me or my family is male/female/hermaphrodite....

    What I do care about is that the NURSE takes care of me or my family's needs with a conscienous realm of maintaining my dignity and health.

    I would have no problem with Mark or Deb caring for me.

    Gender is not a big thing to ME. Being a capable, skillful, caring nurse is more important then the position of your toilet seat in my OPINION!!!!!!
  2. by   hollybear
    I have had just the opposite experience. i have had several ob/gyn docs, male and female and of them all the males have been the best. had one excellent female doc the other 2 were horrible and rough. My first male ob that delivered my first child was so kind and gentle. he was even crying when i was in pain during childbirth. i can still remember him saying" please let me get you something to help with the pain i can not take seeing you like this" he meet us at the hospital and stayed their with us for all 12 hours of labor and delivery. he was absolutely an awsome doc and human being.

    as far as male nurses go i also prefer them to care for me, i must admit at first i was a little nervous and wondered if it was ok. i am so glad i was open minded enough to let them be my nurse they were so much more kinder and gentler that the females i had. they were professional at all times and took the time to care and treat me as a person.

    when i went to nursing school my instuctor for ob and peds was a male, all the patients loved him as well. I worked as a travel nurse and have had the opportunity to work with a few male L&D nurses and even worked with 3 male certified nurse midwives. I have the utmost respect for them they were great with the patients, they stayed at their sides comforting them rubbing backs,feet, getting cols towels for them etc. always were so calm and talked so nice to the patients , their patients were so relaxed around them that i was amazed. i was able to learn a lot from them. I have also encouraged my husband to be a nurse. his desire is to work L&D and become a midwife. he has less than a yr to go to get his BSN. I think he will make a great nurses also. so far his patients love him. i have had the pleasure to watch him during his L&D rotation they did at my hospital. he treated his patients just like he would treat me, he would do anything to help them. some even asked if he could stay till they delivered , which he did.

    i think male nurses are great , you all will always have my support as well as all my coworkers. he already has 2 L&D job offers waiting on him when he graduates. I am so proud of him.

    keep up the good work guys the majority of nurses support you.
  3. by   mark_LD_RN
    sorry carolladybelle that you hadthat kind of experience.but dont paint with such a broad brush. using absolutes like always,never,etc. not all females are kind and not all males or non caring. I never tell my patints that it dont hurt that much. pain is what my patient says it is. and as far as the other inapproriate comments he was way out of line, but female docs also jump to the same conclusions. my oldest daughter used to see a female ob. she told her the same things about being a virgin when she was 20. my daughter came home crying because of the comments this doc told her. so you see it is not just a male thing.

    thanks holly bear for the support, we need more nurses like you. Thanks again to all the nurses here and all over that have supported me and other male nurses. we are all professionals and i know we can get along if we just try
  4. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I said this before; perhaps it bears repeating here. the BEST damn labor nurse I had when I had my daughter 3 years ago was a MAN. He was an Air Force RN (captain, I believe) and his name was Kent. I was in preterm labor and having to go in for NST's (non-stress tests, for non-ob types) and cervical checks twice a week for a few weeks. And I tell you, that gets VERY old. Well when this guy checked me, I SWEAR I NEVER KNEW HE was DOING IT TIL HE WAS DONE. He was so gentle, professional and soft-spoken. He ROCKED!

    I admit, I wondered what made a male want to be an OB nurse til I was under his care. Then, it occured to my very much behind-the-times little brain, that it really did not matter the gender, age, race, religious background, etc. the nurse was taking care of me or my family. What mattered was the professionalism and desire to be a TRUE patient advocate.

    In MY book, Kent was all that (and the bag of chips). Changed my WHOLE perspective on what a "male Ob nurse" could be. I am a believer! (and an OB nurse, myself, who has patterned her own cervical checks after KENT's!).
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Jul 31, '02
  5. by   mark_LD_RN
    thanks SMIling blue eyes: I was hoping a few nurses would write back in support. .

    that all i ask for nurses and people is to just give me a chance ,at they soon see that i am not so bad, might even be pretty good,

    thanks again
    Last edit by mark_LD_RN on Jul 31, '02
  6. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Mark, you sound a lot like Kent to me. If you really are, then you have to be ONE AWESOME OB nurse. Keep on doing what you do and slowly, with the advent of nurses like you, minds will be changed. Like anything else, it takes time.

    I also agree, among our ranks really, there is NOT room for discrimination. We really DO need to be examples to our patients and the public if we expect nursing as a whole to EVER garner the respect it deserves as a profession! In my opinion, your female colleagues who "warn" patients of your coming on are setting things up in a *VERY* negative way and unduly stressing them out! They need to THINK! They *should* enter the patients' room WITH you and say: "This is Mark, and he is the RN who is assuming your care. He will be with you for the next 12 hours and anything you need, just ask; you will be in good hands!" I give all my patients I am leaving this or a similar introduction. It sets the right tone and also sets MINDS AT EASE, since often, change of shift/nurses is a stressful time for labor patients, who are very needy.

    I think them warning the patients that you are MALE quite unprofessional and unfair. anyhow, Your points here, to me, are very well-taken. I am sorry you have to endure this discrimination at all from your own colleagues. It is purely wrong in my book. But as I am sure you will do anyway, Hang in there----I am a BELIEVER! Others will be, too as they enter your care.
  7. by   Dayray
    Thanks too everyone who have made positive comments =) I'm sorry that I have been paying so much attention to the negative posts. I really really apreiciate the support. I love my job and I dont think I would be doing what I do, were it not for the support of nurses on this board and in real life

  8. by   mark_LD_RN
    thanks again everyone,

    thanks for the compliment smiling blue eyes

    i really do love my job, thank goodness things are changing, i work with a great bunch of nurses now they are awesome to me. sometimes they tell my patients i am coming but tell them you will love him just like the rest of his patients.

    well thanks again everyone for all the support and kindness shown here and at work!
  9. by   hollybear
    i got to work with our new (MALE ) nurse midwife tonight. he was awsome, he was so nice. i could not believe how he treated his patients and their family members. laughing and joking with them makeing them feel included. i watched him rub her back and feet, always talked to her in such a deep calm sweet voice. took his time and worked with her till we ended in a wonderful birth. after the birth you could see they tears of joy in his eyes, he stayed and cleaned the patient up offered to help us with baby and to clean up. the family and patient all thanked and hugged him, must have used a whole roll of film taking pictures of him with baby and family members. he also treated the nurses very well thanked us all for our help.

    it was such a pleasure i can not wait to work with him again!
  10. by   Rustyhammer
    Can you babysit for me tonight?
  11. by   mark_LD_RN
    would be glad to rusty but think its kind far away
  12. by   teeituptom
    Howdy Yall
    from deep in the heat of texas

    Well this thread has brought much thinking to the light. So I will sit back and think
  13. by   researchrabbit
    Men and women are different (is this a surprise?). Women and men are similar (is THIS a surprise?). A person who is a caregiver has much more in common with another caregiver than they often do with members of their own sex who are NOT caregivers.

    You can find individual differences among groups, but you can't take an individual and then apply that individual to the whole group. One bad guy doesn't mean all guys are bad. One patient who prefers a female RN doesn't mean all patients prefer females. And an FYI: at one of the universities I worked for, over half our residents (docs in training) were female...the whole "men are docs, women are nurses" thing is dying and I'm betting you won't see much of that in another 20 years (except maybe on TV where stereotypes die hard).

    There's a reason we're all different. I like to think the reason is so that we won't get bored (bring on the diversity, yeah!).

    And Las Vegas, I am TRULY sorry you had that experience. I will never understand why people can't see past the outside bits which are the LEAST important part of anyone!