Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 169

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   Streamline2010
    Quote from AngelfireRN


    Oh, and apparently the door was open in the next room (there are 2 that separate the exam rooms, ours was closed, as always). I know my voice carries, you can hear a pin drop in that office, the insulation is so bad. I had made every effort NOT to yell, and did well, I thought, until my next patient (who is used to me and my views on compliance) walked in, sat down, and greeted me with..."I've been taking mine like I was supposed to."

    Gotta love it.
    LOL! That's what I call developing the proper patient response! Whatever happened to that training, or was it always only something they taught the doctors? I recall a friend who went to MD school in the early '80s and he'd come home and relate to me all this training that they got in how to make their patients pipe down and show some respect, and I was appalled by it! I can't help thinking that all of this "customer satisfaction" and service must be the opposite side of that pendulum swing.

    This thread is an absolute riot.
  2. by   Poi Dog
    Oh, you behave like this all the time? No freaking wonder your family does not visit you. You abused them the same you abuse the staff who takes care of YOU. If you were my family member, I would stay the Hades away too.
  3. by   Poi Dog
    Quote from Saku Rose
    To one patient who cusses me out every day- "Why no I'm not a motherf***er. Because really I have never been with your mother. So really I think you can just shut your mouth now."

    To another patient that pretty much demands we clean him a special way. "You know, I'm sure you can find girls on the net who would loooove to come and scrub and rub your little boy just the way you want. Sadly until you cough up a TOOOON of money I'm doing it my way. If you're so sad you aren't getting the thrill you need I can happily hand you the stuff!"

    To the patient that whines non-stop- "Look you are not 3 years old. Shut up. Yeah you have an ear infection. Sorry to burst your bubble it's not the end of the world. I bet you not wearing your oxygen and destating could be more of the end of the world for you then an ear infection. So just close your mouth and turn around."

    Thanks for the laugh!!!!

  4. by   pedicurn
    Just because you are wealthy, it is not ok to treat nurses badly.
    Get some values you moron
  5. by   nerdtonurse?
    To my DKA patient...don't tell me you check your blood sugar 4x per day...I can see your fingertips, and they look like the last time you got stuck was when I stuck you the last time you were here with DKA...which was a week ago.

    Don't tell me I'm "mean" because I won't give the lady calling for water some water. She has a PEG tube. If I give her water, she will choke, and yes, "well I'm sure you could just give her a small cup" would probably give her aspiration pneumonia and kill her. What I did say was "people can have a variety of medical conditions that aren't compatible with eating or drinking." And I managed not to stand on your O2 tubing when I said it, be proud.

    Don't tell me that you know the MD/CEO/Mayor/President and expect I'm going to violate the MD's orders and let you go out to smoke/drink/drug. You'd still be a jerk if you actually were as important as your imaginary friends tell you that you are.
  6. by   Poi Dog
    I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

    If I throw a stick, will you leave?

  7. by   carolmaccas66
    I once gave an annoying patient $2 to go get a beer at the pub so he would just leave me alone! And he DID leave so it worked!
  8. by   Fiona59
    Quote from Chixie
    Just go home!
    ... and don't let the door hit you on the way out!
  9. by   brillohead
    Quote from Fiona59
    ... and don't let the door hit you on the way out!
    Because then you might come back with a PITA and make a bigger PITA of yourself the second time around!
  10. by   southernbeegirl
    So you think our smoking policy is unfair?? Good God! Three times a day I have to pull my, allready stressed from too many patients,staff off the floor to take your whining self out to smoke. You are lucky we have allow smoking in our facility. Most places don't. So you think it's unfair that we only take you to smoke 3 times a day? Honey, if it were up to me, you'd NEVER go to smoke!
  11. by   sharpeimom
    Quote from southernbeegirl
    so you think our smoking policy is unfair?? good god! three times a day i have to pull my, allready stressed from too many patients,staff off the floor to take your whining self out to smoke. you are lucky we have allow smoking in our facility. most places don't. so you think it's unfair that we only take you to smoke 3 times a day? honey, if it were up to me, you'd never go to smoke!
    then you bring your stinky little self back in, reeking to high heaven of leftover stale smoke and i get all congested and sniffly and wheezy just from being around you (as do others.)
  12. by   nurse32
    Quote from AngelfireRN
    "Please leave the door open, or cracked, if you don't mind." This was a walk-in, my last patient of the day, and no one else was in office except staff, so no danger of HIPAA violations.

    "Oh, are you hot?"

    "Yes, it gets stuffy in here."

    What I WANTED to say was..."Yes, and you reek to high Heaven and I don't want to be closed up with it." It amazes me how many people come in just rank with body odor. And as bad as I feel for's called a bath, and soap is cheap. Much cheaper than that gold mine hanging around your neck and the cigs in your pocket.

    Not much bothers me, except noncompliance. Nasty, though....nasty definitely bothers me.
    I'm a home care nurse, and it still amazes me every time I have to give nebulizer treatment for a patient that reeks of smoke. The cigarette smell is so bad that I start coughing just from standing close to the patient.
    Another patient I had to leave before completing the treatment because the body odor was the worse I have ever smelled. And that patient refuses a home health aide.
  13. by   nerdtonurse?
    If you come to the hospital and the first thing you do is start telling me what you won't do -- won't wear your monitor, won't take your meds, won't stay in your room/on the floor, won't abide by the no smoking rules -- then don't be surprised when I call the doc and see if we can get you discharged.

    Honey, nobody's sexually interested in your man's nasty shriveled up disease ridden little soldier. We're all "busy down there" because apparently neither you or he have washed this part of his anatomy in a frighteningly long time and we're trying to scrape the crud off of him before we put in a foley.

    If I hear one more 4 letter word come out of your mouth, you're going to have another 4 letter word in your mouth -- soap!