Calling patients by "pet" names.

Nurses Relations

Published

Does this bother anyone else? I'm a student and during clinicals I've often heard young male nurses, techs, and patient transport personnel address women who are old enough to be their mothers (or grandmothers) as "dear", "my dear", "honey."

Coming from the securities industry, I find this unprofessional and enormously disrespectful. In fact, I believe that patients should be addressed as "Mr." or "Mrs." unless instructed by the patient or family to use a first name or nickname.

Am I just being overly fussy? If not, how should I handle it in the future? I wouldn't say anything now, as a student, but it's so prevalent that I'm sure I'll encounter it when I'm fully employed.

No It' doesn't bother me one bit that nurses are being kind or affectionate to their patients. If the patient doesn't like it he or she will speak. What bothers me is that you aren't minding your own business and for some unknown reason have made yourself the judge. I am sure there are areas in your practice that you could and should be working on. And I don't care if the administrators like it either! I say this both as a nurse and a patient. As a patient, I welcome the humanity and abhor the idea that we are to be like dam robots.

I can't think of anything that is more pressing business of mine than advocating for patients by ensuring that their dignity is respected. Furthermore, I fail to see how noticing an ongoing cultural phenomenon would detract from other areas of my practice. Finally, if I sound judgmental, I'm not alone....

I've done it. I'm sure i have offended some. I've also had plenty of patients ask not to be called by first name, not to be called Mrs/Mr (pt is 96-"Mr Smith was my father!") and I think by far the most common one people take issue with is Sir/Ma'am.

I am white, from the North, was raised and always lived where overt racism was never tolerated. It never occurred to me that titles could be a race issue until a black female patient-slightly confused-got EXTREMELY offended thinking my calling her Ms X was a name used for servants. She demanded another nurse and be called by first name only.

As a patient myself in my 20s I found Ms/Ma'am uncomfortably formal and, from the nurses who were my age and friendly and especially those who'd been with me multiple shifts it felt scripted. I was never upset enough to raise it but gratefully accepted "can i just call you First Name?" On the other hand I frequently have patients older than I refer to me as honey/dear/sweetie/love. With nice patients I don't mind, with obnoxious patients its grating.

There is no title that will please or offend or not offend everyone and it all depends on the relationship also. As the OP was in LTC there is a level of familiarity there that is not always present in other settings (then again e everywhere has frequent fliers whose relationship with staff is different than other patients).

Wow! Thanks! I had no idea that Mr./Mrs. was associated with servants in the African American community. I'll keep that in mind going forward.

Really? You're going to try to turn Mr. and Mrs. into a racial issue? Rather dramatic wouldn't you say? Each race has individual preferences with individual people, minds, etc. Not all African Americans feel that way. That was just one confused lady with one preference. Maybe we should try to ask individuals what they prefer. Stereotyping is not a good thing either.

Really? You're going to try to turn Mr. and Mrs. into a racial issue? Rather dramatic wouldn't you say? Each race has individual preferences with individual people, minds, etc. Not all African Americans feel that way. That was just one confused lady with one preference. Maybe we should try to ask individuals what they prefer. Stereotyping is not a good thing either.

I'm sorry if I implied that this is an issue for all black people or anything like that. My point was that one individual had a very different view than mine and was very offended for reasons I never would have considered. The reason I shared this was to try to make a point that there is no title or name that is guaranteed to work for everyone-each individual has different preferences for reasons that include but are not limited to race and culture.

Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.

I was recently in the ER as a patient. EVERY person who came in my cubicle called me Mermaid. They didn't ask what I preferred. They all just assumed it was okay to call me by my first name. They were all quite a bit younger than I am. I wasn't overly offended...I was in heaps of pain so at that point I probably wouldn't have minded a dear or a hun and....since they were the ones with all the pain medicine I didn't think it a good idea to argue.

Specializes in LTC and Pediatrics.

While living in north Iowa, we usually called our residents by their first names. We were told not to use "pet" names. Now I live in south Texas and where I am working, we are to use Mr or Miss. From others I have known from the south, this is used in other places. I have a friend from Virginia who uses the Mr or Miss.

All in all, as has been said, these things are rather regional. If you feel more comfortable using Mr. or Mrs., then do. You may have some ask you to call them by their first name or a nickname.

Specializes in Cardicac Neuro Telemetry.

It doesn't bother me but that's probably because I'm a born and raised Texan. That's just something we do here. Even strangers will do it. If I was at the grocery store and someone said "excuse me, honey", I wouldn't think a thing of it. Having said all that, I am mindful that other people might be bothered so I do my best to not do it at work. I find that addressing my patients by Mr. *insert first name here* or Miss *insert first name here* seems to be acceptable. I think that it conveys respect without being too cold.

I think the rapport with the patient and the type of setting should also be considered. Long term care nurses may know their patients for years versus acute care nurses like myself don't get the chance to build a long term relationship with patients.

Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
It doesn't bother me but that's probably because I'm a born and raised Texan. That's just something we do here. Even strangers will do it. If I was at the grocery store and someone said "excuse me, honey", I wouldn't think a thing of it. Having said all that, I am mindful that other people might be bothered so I do my best to not do it at work. I find that addressing my patients by Mr. *insert first name here* or Miss *insert first name here* seems to be acceptable. I think that it conveys respect without being too cold.

I think the rapport with the patient and the type of setting should also be considered. Long term care nurses may know their patients for years versus acute care nurses like myself don't get the chance to build a long term relationship with patients.

I agree.

I work at a school, so my "patients" range from 4-14 years old. I think of these kids as my own children, so I call them "Mija, mijita, mijo, mijito, hun, sweetie, darlin'... etc." It makes them feel comfortable and it's a common thing especially in Texas, especially for Hispanics. I don't know how many times older Hispanic women call me mija, it's a normal thing. (I'm hispanic btw too)

For non-Spanish users, I guess mija/o can be translated as "My son, my daughter" It's an abbreviation for mi hija/o, but we just go mi-ja, mi-jo.

+ Add a Comment