Nurse bullying

Nurses Relations

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I live in the Delaware Valley (PA, NJ, Delaware).

Has anyone in this area ever been a target of this behaviour? I think a nurse bully picks on a competant nurse because the bully is intimidated by the resilience of the nurse she/he may be picking on.

This bullying can go on for months even years from the same bully toward the same target. We aren't victims since we rise up professionally from the perpetrator bully nurse; I may be a target but I am not a victim.

Anyone else ever feel this way from the target nurse perspective?

Well, In my first year of LPN school, our class was going to go on an optional run for the cure. I live in FL and it gets REALLY hot here. since it was optional, i decided not to go. And i felt horrible anyway so i needed to rest. i sent a text message to the team leader of the race (a fellow nursing student) i simply said that i could not make it. She replied with how what i was doing is F'ed up, how no one in the class likes me and how i am a slacker. (I got national honor society for nurses and she did not, i was also the first one to pass the nclex out of my entire class, i am not a slacker). i told her that she was being rude, and that this is no way for a future nurse to treat someone who is ill. Then another class mate texted me saying "have fun spooning with your boyfriend instead of supporting the team" Anyway- i ended up going to the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock, turns out i was allergic to beef, milk, and soy. and the beef is what did it (i hadn't eaten beef in over a year) I told her what happened, expecting an apology, but she just laughed and told me i was a liar :eek:

2nd year was the worst. I was sexually harassed and pretty much verbally raped and physically molested by a male nursing student. He would say things about sex, masturbation, rape, sex toys, me and my fiance, it was horrible. and of course i told him to stop, and i told him that he was disgusting. One day he groped my bottom and said "i could rape you". So then i told my teacher. and he got kicked out. After he got kicked out, he slandered me and told the class that i am a liar and to beware. He was EXTREMELY manipulative. So after that, everyday, i would hear people talking about me, snickers, dirty looks, scoffs, etc. when it came time for my class picture no one wanted to sit near me, people talked in groups about me, it was horrible. I told the nursing program director what was going on and she literally told me she did not care and that i was being immature. ME being immature? i was hurt. no one did anything.

i am so sick to my stomach thinking these people will be nurses one day :uhoh3:

The incident left me with PTSD, and i am afraid to be alone with men who i don't know (in an office, in elevators, etc) I also have serious trust issues with people because of this. i am slowly recovering. Its hard to put into words how horrible my nursing school experience was... but that is how it went. :crying2:....;) :nurse:

Wow! I just wanted to say that I am sooo sorry this happened to you. It sounds like an absolute nightmare! Good for you to persevere through that kind of adversity. You are a strong person. I think many would have just quit with that kind of harassment going on. Its too bad you cant bring criminal charges against the person who said they "could rape you". That had to have been very traumatic indeed. Its so sad to hear of the way they ostracized you.

If I could give you a hug I would. Please remember that you are strong and intelligent but more importantly you are the better person.

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Specializes in Plastics. General Surgery. ITU. Oncology.

If someone came out with the "possessed by the Devil" line in THIS thankfully totally secular country HR would send 'em for a psychiatric assessment!.

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Specializes in LTC.

yeah the whole situation was awful. and i did actually file charges for battery against him, but he lied to the DA and there wasn't enough evidence to go on.

Thanks for all the support everyone, threads like this make me a little stronger bit by bit. I always remember the advice on how to professionally stand up for myself. but the scariest thing is it did not work in my situation.

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Specializes in family practice.
LPNweezy, I am so sorry! I can't imagine adults acting that way, but I guess anything is possible these days. :(

I've been a bullying victim twice. The first time, a nurse was making all the nurses of other color than she miserable in the facility; she would not take care of her patients and would dump her work on others. I tried to be the adult, talking directly to her failed, so I used a "mediated management" meeting with HR. This lady got in there and told the HR that she had been "told by Jesus" that I was posessed by the devil. I'm just sitting there with my mouth on the floor and then, worse, HR smiled this sickeningly sweet smile and told her that she was being a good Christian. I quit without notice after that meeting was done. Aeeiiiieeya ya! What can you do??? The job stunk so it wasn't much of a loss (and this back when economy was much better)

Second time, a nurse was making things miserable for the entire floor. She did the scheduling, and if she wanted extra money, she would simply take your hours away and add to hers...even for permanent employees. She also would force herself in on upper management meetings in place of the charge-level-2 nurses, who were also getting livid because she was usurping their power and authority. My coworkers and I tried to take it to the immediate manager, who didn't care. We then took it higher up the chain but the top dog really didn't care. It ended with 5 of us quitting within 3 months, some of whom had been there for 13 YEARS. I probably should have stayed until she stole my hours to zero, or got me fired, as times are so bad now, but I was just seeing red. I hear that this person is still there...and probably will be until someone cares enough to fire her like her many previous jobs did. Not to mention, with all the hours she stole and making others miserable, she there the whole time on the computer or phone just about while "working."

First of all I will show them how possessed i could really be before walking out of their facility

and as for the second nurse dont worry she would get what was originally coming to her 1) when HR gets tired of paying for OT. and 2) When she meets her match

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Specializes in family practice.
Well, In my first year of LPN school, our class was going to go on an optional run for the cure. I live in FL and it gets REALLY hot here. since it was optional, i decided not to go. And i felt horrible anyway so i needed to rest. i sent a text message to the team leader of the race (a fellow nursing student) i simply said that i could not make it. She replied with how what i was doing is F'ed up, how no one in the class likes me and how i am a slacker. (I got national honor society for nurses and she did not, i was also the first one to pass the nclex out of my entire class, i am not a slacker). i told her that she was being rude, and that this is no way for a future nurse to treat someone who is ill. Then another class mate texted me saying "have fun spooning with your boyfriend instead of supporting the team" Anyway- i ended up going to the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock, turns out i was allergic to beef, milk, and soy. and the beef is what did it (i hadn't eaten beef in over a year) I told her what happened, expecting an apology, but she just laughed and told me i was a liar :eek:

2nd year was the worst. I was sexually harassed and pretty much verbally raped and physically molested by a male nursing student. He would say things about sex, masturbation, rape, sex toys, me and my fiance, it was horrible. and of course i told him to stop, and i told him that he was disgusting. One day he groped my bottom and said "i could rape you". So then i told my teacher. and he got kicked out. After he got kicked out, he slandered me and told the class that i am a liar and to beware. He was EXTREMELY manipulative. So after that, everyday, i would hear people talking about me, snickers, dirty looks, scoffs, etc. when it came time for my class picture no one wanted to sit near me, people talked in groups about me, it was horrible. I told the nursing program director what was going on and she literally told me she did not care and that i was being immature. ME being immature? i was hurt. no one did anything.

i am so sick to my stomach thinking these people will be nurses one day :uhoh3:

The incident left me with PTSD, and i am afraid to be alone with men who i don't know (in an office, in elevators, etc) I also have serious trust issues with people because of this. i am slowly recovering. Its hard to put into words how horrible my nursing school experience was... but that is how it went. :crying2:....;) :nurse:

To say someone had to go through this. What did you do to these classmates. I hope one day you got to stand up for yourself. And when did optional turn big deal. In my country we have a saying that u have a mouth to talk but then it doesnt mean what is coming out make sense, You can say all you want, u would sound stupid to someone

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op: i have been a target at my last job. i agree, we can decide to be a victim. in any case, i do not know if all bullies are jealous. my former bully had 8 years of experience to my 2. she also was considered a very competent nurse. however her home life was and is miserable. so she brings her terrors to work. her bullying was through vicious gossip.

she gossiped about people she did not like and made the nurses (i was not the only target) she did not like appear to the doctors and the other staff members as dangerous and incompetent. she successfully ran off all of her targets except for me and one other nurse. the other nurse who has not left was protected by a clique of nurses who she could not influence. i was not protected by anyone. i remained employed there for well over a year and a half for the work experience. i fully intended when i started to leave once i finished my bsn and that is what i have done.

in any case, to survive i became my biggest cheerleader. it was necessary because when someone stood up for me, she made them feel unwelcome and started to target them, so other nurses did not stand up for me to her face. in fact, she was so bad, most people tip-toed around her and most charge nurses gave in to her demands of patient assignments (sometimes she had no patients in her beds because she did not want any while the waiting room was full and the rest of the nurses were busy). in addition, she gave her opinion on where she thought i and other nurses should be assigned and i was assigned to beds that were way below my abilities, while the nurses she liked with less experience were given more complicated patients.

the only reason i knew i was a good nurse was because of my patients who readily sang my praises to my mangers and nurses who were on their way out the door that had nothing to lose by pulling me aside and letting me know that he/she thought i am an outstanding nurse. i received the feedback without solicitation so i believe it 100%. not to mention the doctors. some were very impressed with me because of the gossip and informed me on several occasions that they thought i was a good nurse; again without solicitation.

i agree with the others, you must rise above the bully. i have no idea what god has in store for that miserable nurse, but she will get hers!!! i do not need to be around to know that god is at work because i have received a blessing recently.

after finishing my bsn i landed a job in an er within a level 2 trauma center. she was floored. she could not believe it. to her i am stupid. stupid nurses should not care for trauma patients. however, i am not the only one who left that er and was able to land another er job. so her opinion counts for nothing outside of the er i just left. she has yet to grasp that concept. :cool:

so yes, i am not her victim. she does not get to decide what kind of er nurse i will be and how long i will work in the er environment. :nurse: plus, she does not get to decide my patient assignments any more!:yeah::p

you go girl!:up:

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i think the bullying, aka lateral violence, that goes on in nursing is because nursing is so female dominated. some women can be mean as heck to other women.

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I've been bullied my whole life. I think it's because I'm shy, passive, and a people-pleaser, and people can sense that from my body language. My job as a CNA has toughened me up like nothing before... I'm still a wimp, but I'm getting a lot better at standing up for myself.

I have always heard your kindness is your weakness. There are some people out here that seems to cater to those who love to gossip, backstab, get others wrote up, and making eveyone elses lives miserable. If I was a nurse manager, I would quickly weed out the troublemakers!

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i think the bullying, aka lateral violence, that goes on in nursing is because nursing is so female dominated. some women can be mean as heck to other women.

This, 100%.

I received my LPN license a few days ago and I'm still working at a retail store while I look for a nursing job. The employees where I work are 95% female. I NEVER hear the men talking crap about each other, but the women are SO gossipy and back-stabbing. I'll overhear them bash a particular co-worker, and as soon as that person comes in to the room they pretend like nothing's wrong and like they're best buds. :uhoh3: I can only imagine what's been said about me behind my back; unfortunately, I don't care, lol.

I'm pretty introverted and generally a nice person (I try to be, at least) and I think sometimes people mistake that for weakness. I don't like conflict and I try to avoid it, especially in the workplace, but I can snap and my nasty, Dragon-like temper can come out in seconds when someone really makes me angry. I've made a few people go :eek: before because they weren't expecting me to snap back at them. I used to be too scared to stand up for myself, but I've noticed as I've gotten older, my testicular fortitude has grown quite a bit. Watch out for the quiet ones! ;)

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Mar 16, 2011, 07:38 PM

I had someone try to bully me in the ER

I pulled her into the office at the FIRST incident and told her in a professional way how I was offended by her behavior, how she do not know me on a personal level to even speak to me in the way that she had done, and how I was taking this matter to the director and also the CNO.

I also told her I will be writing up this incident because I don't come to work to be harrassed. The next day, I wrote up a 3 page incident report and gave it to my manager and the director. I also had a copy for the CNO.

The bully was talked to, and she apologized to me. She tries to speak to me in terms of trying to "be nice" and I am cordial and professional with her. I don't speak to her unless it's work related.

She found out very quickly I am NOT the one. She has a reputuation of doing this to others and they let her get away with it. And I told the director if nothing is done, I'm going to the CNO and the CEO for lateral work violence. And I meant it.

Thank you for posting this. it gives me plan of action should bullying ever happen again to me. As a Nursing Refresher Student I should have listened to my gut and had my patients write letters to support me, i still may pursue something once I am re-licensed. I cannot believe how mean and derogatory some Nurses are to each other, yet claim to be "caring to patients" . If you bully laterally then you likely bully your less powerful, the patients/clients.

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I don't think the bullying/nasty behavior is because the perpetrators are female so much as it is that they are powerless/frustrated/angry.

Nurses have huge levels of responsibility and accountability yet so little control over anything.

All the rage goes somewhere: some express it by bullying, some get ulcers, some eat and eat, some leave the profession, some self-medicate with alcohol or drugs,some are on prescription meds...

Most of the people in my department are on anti-depressants at the very least.

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Still, as intelligent people we advocate for our clients and so we should do the same for ourselves. Really if we cannot address the cause of these bullies, then by doing nothing we condone them. We allow them to make "underlings" those of lesser value take on their frustrations and that is not fair. If I have a terrible family life, it does not mean I can go into work and take it out on others. they should be advised of what they do, go through the chain of command and then seek help. OR get out of nursing. They stay on and instead drive many of us away from a career and leaves us with some insecurity problems. GO to another floor or just shut up. Honestly with the nursing shortage they should be embracing us as we can then be there for their vacation time, sick leave etc. I think many of them hate newbies and students bc it shows up how actually bad their nursing skills are.

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