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Not sure how to deal with this future classmate...

Students   (4,669 Views | 40 Replies)

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I think she's trying navigate this without making a big deal out of it. She has to spend the next two years with this dude - see him every day. She might be stuck doing clinicals or group projects with him. I think she's smart to tread carefully.

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14 Posts; 110 Profile Views

Your boyfriend is right. Cut him off slowly. Don't make this a big deal until proven otherwise.

I would like to think that once school starts, he will make different friends and attach/associate himself with other people. And that would be that.

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RNNPICU has 13 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in PICU.

1,057 Posts; 12,331 Profile Views

OP: I have not seen anything from what you have posted that sounds like flirting behavior. It sounds like he is just texting friendly things as I would do with other people who would be a a school group. Saying "Happy Thanksgiving" is not flirting, it is just being nice and sending a greeting, it could even have been a part of a big group text that he sent to everyone. It also does not sound like you are sending any mixed messages either. Just keep things related to school. Once school starts he will have access to more people and more friends. It doesn't sound like anything is over the top in your communication, it just sounds like friendly school chatter. Just keep it that way. There is no need to bring up a boyfriend topic or anything as this is just school stuff.

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bgxyrnf has 10 years experience as a MSN, RN and specializes in Med-Tele; ED; ICU.

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Personally, I'd just block him on my phone and mostly ignore him in the program. If he continues on, then be very direct and frank, and tell him to please not interact with you. From there, be even more direct but copy the school. From there, get a restraining order. At some point, consider having your dude also contact him and request that he leave you be. Then be more direct and tell him to leave you be. Then be more direct and command that he leave you be.

Whatever you do, be direct and assertive if the subtle and passive message isn't getting through... and then escalate as appropriate.

And for goodness sake, don't let yourself be alone anywhere near him and keep an eye out for him where he shouldn't be. Consider keeping a big container of bear spray in your car and in your nursing bag... a super bright Fenix flashlight, too.

If your creeper-senses are giving your an alarm, deal with directly, and protect yourself.

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3 Followers; 37,055 Posts; 98,455 Profile Views

Don't answer his calls or texts. Block him. When he approaches you in person, be blunt in front of witnesses. Keep a written record, including references to saved messages.

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3 Followers; 37,055 Posts; 98,455 Profile Views

If you have misnterpreted his intentions his feelings will be hurt, and he should state so. If he is wise, he will back off wounded, and leave you alone.

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1 Follower; 3 Articles; 5,169 Posts; 155 Profile Views

Cut him off slowly? No way, don't pander to this crap.

If he is annoying you or if he is creeping you out don't appease him, just tell him not to bother you anymore. You don't have any obligation to having him continue to make you uncomfortable.

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ixchel specializes in critical care.

5 Articles; 4,546 Posts; 57,518 Profile Views

3 weeks ago, one of the guys in my cohort shot me a facebook message. He asked me where I bought my stethoscope.

He sent me his number so I could text him.

"We can study together as long as you don't distract me"

On Thanksgiving Day he texts me "Happy Thanksgiving!!" "Oh sorry that was for someone else"

He texted me a few days later to discuss some things about school. I made some small talk

Every now and then he talks about himself, but he likes to boast a lot.

"Yeah I live across the Maserati dealership"

"I don't know what I want to do when I graduate... I just want to make tons of money"

He also sends me photos/videos of random things he does daily... like pictures of his lunch, unboxing videos, pictures of his calendar, pictures of him driving home.

"Hi"

"Hey do you have the paper that is needed for the school badge?"

I HATE it when people try to be my friend.

I feel like ADNs flirt overtly immaturely as well. They make me feel icky with all of their awkward conversation.

Edited by ixchel
fixing quote

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Shanimal has 6 years experience.

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I agree with meanmaryjane on this one--there's waaaay too much energy being spent on this and waaaay too much unnecessary drama. And yes, at this point it would be waaaay overboard to contact the school about the situation. You're getting unwanted attention but I've seen no evidence here that you've clearly told this guy to leave you alone. Not really fair to expect him to be a mind reader, especially if you're encouraging that behavior by responding back to him.

This is a good opportunity to practice assertiveness. And you don't have to be mean about it. Blame it on your "jealous boyfriend" or whatever, but if the attention is unwanted, you need to tell him that before going up the chain of command. If after that he continues to contact you, THEN consider contacting the school.

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1 Follower; 3 Articles; 5,169 Posts; 155 Profile Views

He makes me uncomfortable. As an adult woman, I've had many encounters with clingy men and the red flags were similar to this. This guy will be in my lectures and labs so I can't just get away from him.

As I said before, if you are uncomfortable you should be very comfortable telling him that and moving on. No one should have to feel uncomfortable without speaking up for themselves.

You say you are an adult woman, but this reads like a teenage drama. You are taking the first steps towards becoming a nurse, and it will soon be your job to advocate for your patients in uncomfortable situations while maintaining a professional work environment. This is a good time to practice the start of that.

As an aside, from what you've written, I've seen absolutely nothing I would call "flirting". But if you are uncomfortable then that's what matters in the end I guess.

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BCgradnurse has 11 years experience as a MSN, RN, NP and specializes in allergy and asthma, urgent care.

1 Follower; 1 Article; 1,660 Posts; 49,397 Profile Views

OP-

Boundaries-set them and keep them. You owe this guy nothing. If he makes you uncomfortable, then tell him so and stop communicating with him. Don't play into any drama.

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31 Posts; 1,365 Profile Views

I respectfully disagree with everyone waving a hand at this as "teenage drama." This is how nasty interpersonal stuff in a classroom or a workplace can start and get out of hand bewilderingly fast, with someone who has no ability to reflect on whether their behavior is appropriate or not. I don't know what rational person would continue sending photos of themselves doing things like driving to work to someone they barely know who isn't cuckoo for cocopuffs. I would just keep this dude at arm's length, I dealt with something similar once and it was a tightrope, but it worked. If it makes you feel better there's a good chance you're not the only girl he's trying to run this play on.

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