Not learning from my preceptor?

Editorial Team / Moderator · May 20, 2017

So I just started my first job as a nurse this past week. I will be working night shift, so I did one week of days to meet everyone and I had the sweetest and most helpful nurses, and I learned so much. Last night I was put with the nurse who will be orienting me for the next three months on nights, and I am very upset. He was constantly running away from me, acting like I wasn't there, ignoring my questions, and doing everything himself without letting me do anything. For two hours I sat in a chair in dead silence and watched him eat his lunch. I feel like I am not learning anything, and he does not care to teach me at all. I do not know what to do, because the manager loves him, and she will not take too kindly to me complaining about him, and also I don't want him to be upset with me. I just want to learn an become a competent nurse! What should I do?

Do you have a unit educator that you can talk to? Have you spoken directly to your preceptor about expectations? These are all steps you can take to ensure that you receive a solid orientation. There should be regular two-way feedback and structure to any good orientation program.

RNChris1 · May 20, 2017

You need to stand up for your needs. You are only going to be on orientation this one time and need to get the most out of it. I would suggest that you explain your needs and expectations to him. When I precept, I make that one of the first coversations I have... some people don't always mesh well for a mentoring relationship, that's ok too. It doesn't mean that either of the two nurses have anything wrong, they just have different expectations and personality...

if I was you, talk to your preceptor and see if you can make both sides of the expectations known. I would also ask to occasionally have a sit down during orientation with both you and your preceptor with your manager or educator to ensure you are getting your needs met and progressing well.

Good luck!

brownbook · May 20, 2017

He gets a two hour lunch?

Anyway, good advice from the other posters. Write down what you expect him to teach you, your goals. Show him your list and ask him how how he will help you. If after a week or two nothing is checked off tell him your not meeting your goals and you're going to meet with the manager about what you are doing wrong. (Actually what HE is doing wrong, but I wanted to keep it professional and non accusatory.)

dishes, BSN, RN · May 20, 2017

Give the preceptor longer than one shift, it's possible that you were dumped on the preceptor without any warning and he may need time to warm up to the idea that he may have to give up his two lunch breaks and spend his time teaching you for the next three months.

Purple_roses · May 20, 2017

As a newbie myself, I literally sympathize with you because I'm afraid of this happening. My orientation is split so that half is on the days, then the last half will be on nights as I transition to my shift which will be on nights from then on out. Nights seem a bit scarier to me because I'm new, I don't necessarily feel confident in myself, and there are less people around to help out/offer direction if needed. Scary stuff, at least to me.

Whenever I'm nervous about things I'm always honest about it. For me personally, the first thing I would do is just be real about your fears with your preceptor. Not every facility allows nurses to choose whether or not they want to precept, so it's possible he's not happy about the fact that he has to do it. I would say something like, "I realize that precepting a new nurse is probably similar to having another patient load heaped on every shift, but I am super nervous about this and I want to be the best possible nurse that I can be, and I could probably learn a ton from you. I'm willing to help out and be a part of the team as much as possible. Please tell me what I can do to make that happen while learning to practice safely."

If he's still unwilling to teach, you've done your part, you've proven that you tried to resolve the conflict, and you're ready to go up the chain of command. This is your learning experience. This is the last step you have until you're responsible for your own patients without a preceptor to fall back on. This time probably counts more than all of your schooling. You have every right to request a change if your preceptor is unwilling to help you learn to fly before you get kicked out of the nest, so to speak. If this were me, I would do everything possible to make sure my learning experience was what I needed it to be.

Good luck! I feel ya!

dishes, BSN, RN · May 20, 2017

For two hours I sat in a chair in dead silence and watched him eat his lunch. I feel like I am not learning anything, and he does not care to teach me at all.

Do not sit and watch him eat, use use your time wisely, suggest you read your patients' admission histories, review medications and treatments. Make brain sheets in order to organize and plan the patients' care. Check out the supply room, make a mock treasure hunt and try to locate supplies quickly, check the crash cart, read online policy & procedures, read patient discharge and diagnostic test instructions. These are just a few of the many things you can do to become more knowledgeable about the patient population and how the unit functions.

WKShadowNP, DNP, APRN · May 20, 2017

I guarantee that he is probably thinking you have no initiative. You need to change that possible perception and find opportunity to learn. Procedure happening? "Neat, can I watch? " Dressing change? "What supplies do I need," or "tell me how I can help."

As a mentor I gave specific tasks to my orientees especially if they were new so they would be faced with active practice right away. My shining pupil from the year before last is my little duckling and she did well when I pushed her comfort zone just a bit. She jokes that my technique was just throwing her in the deep end and for a flourish she mimics me kicking someone through the door while saying, "get in there!"

Good luck to you.

pixierose, BSN, RN · May 20, 2017

You've already received some great advice from the previous posters.

Just food for thought: ask yourself, is he really, truly, avoiding you? Ignoring your questions? Running away at every turn?

I've had 2 preceptors, both very different. My first, on days, was very involved. Invited me to do everything, without me even asking. Very kind, fatherly even. Took me by the arm and away we went.

My current preceptor for evenings ... totally different story. Maybe it's because I'm almost done with orientation, maybe it's his personality, but he doesn't "invite" me to do things -- he expects it. Incoming admission? If I'm assigned that patient, it's up to me and he'll sit by and observe (however far away). Meds for 7 patients? Yup, on me. Assessments/CIWAs/etc on those patients? On me as well. THEN I ask him for follow up ... and his feedback is usually pretty good.

If I have a question, or I've never seen something done before, I ask. Never feel bad for asking questions.

If your organization uses an orientation checklist for newbies, sit with him during these 2-hour meals (you have him trapped), and start going over it with him. During any downtime, start checking out your hospital policies. And ask ask ask ask ask questions. The guy (most likely) is getting paid differentially for being your preceptor, so don't feel bad for asking those questions!

Nonyvole, BSN, RN · May 21, 2017

If you feel, completely and totally, that you are not able to learn from this preceptor, go to your manager and unit educator.

Don't blame anybody, because that's the fastest way to misery. Just say that you and your preceptor aren't a good match and ask if there is anybody else who might be available to precept. If they press, you have different styles. In the end, it's in the best interest of everybody that you succeed.

Also, be proactive. So he's not answering questions...is there another nurse on the unit that you can ask? What about just jumping in to help out the techs? You have options!

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · May 21, 2017

You've been with him how many shifts? From reading it seems like 1-2?? Maybe he's getting a feel for you. Trying to see if you're going to stand out, be proactive, take initiative? I wouldn't be so quick to have such strong feelings that you aren't learning anything and all you said based off 1-2 shifts. Especially on a 3 month orientation. If I misread and it's been a longer than that, first and foremost I would speak to him directly before going to anyone. Next time you're watching him eat "for 2 hours???" is a perfect time to clear the air. If he isn't receptive to that, then I would look into talking to your educator and the other solid advice you have been given.

Purple_roses · May 21, 2017

pixierose, BSN, RN I love that you referred to the preceptor as being trapped. I don't know why that painted such a funny picture in my mind, but it did.