Not connecting or feeling good about nursing program

Mergirlc, MSN, APRN, NP · Jan 11, 2020

Does the vibe not feel right because of the teachers and program or is it your fellow classmates?

While it is true that people tend to flock to others in their similar social circles or interests (cliques), the stand-offishness can sometimes be due to somebody/people being stressed, nervous and/or insecure. Especially in a nursing school because it's high stress and it sometimes manifests itself in this way. If it's not this and they are just jerks, ignore them. You don't need negativity surrounding you during this stressful time in your life.

Don't worry about not clicking with your classmates. You're there for you. You are there to learn, graduate, and pass the NCLEX. That is your only mission at this point. If you do happen to make friends while you're there, it's an added bonus but not a necessity. You do you. It's all in your hands and you can take control of this and be successful!

Good luck to you! You got this! ?

Ngav1206, LPN · Jan 11, 2020

Maybe I let my own insecurities/anxiety get in the way. They all brag how easily they are getting concepts and their great grades. While I’m here struggling and going to tutoring and review sessions /watching YouTube videos and studying like crazy just to make it. I have two young children, have to work and have some issues within my marriage. All making it a little more difficult at the moment.

Mergirlc, MSN, APRN, NP · Jan 11, 2020

Life stresses can definitely be problematic when it comes to schooling. I'm sorry this is happening right now in your life. You can only take it one day at a time and deal w/ situations as they come at you. If it becomes too much, try to seek some guidance or counseling where perhaps you'll get a second set of ears to help you sort things out.

I always find it strange and amusing when people have to stand around and brag or try to find out what other people's grades are. Who cares? The only grade you need to worry about is yours and that it is a passing grade. I'm not going to lie and say that sometimes a GPA can come back to haunt you (if it's a bad one) later on if you're applying to a doctorate or masters program. It may or may not be detrimental. At this point think of it this way: Whether you get an "A" or a "C" it doesn't matter. As long as you get the grade you need to pass the class(es) and move on. Let's put it this way: If your school required you to get a minimum 2.50 to graduate and If the other student graduates w/ a 4.00 and you graduate w/ a 2.78.....does it matter? No....because in the end, you both graduate from the same exact program and as long as you pass the NCLEX, you're both RNs who are embarking on a new career. Everybody is equal. Think about that one!

Pay no mind to the braggarts. Just a FYI: you'll see them all over the place here on the website too. They're the people who start off a school topic post and post their stats first thing or one of the first two people to ask people to post their stats. What purpose does this serve? None. I can understand it serving a purpose after people are chosen and denied so they can get an idea of whereabouts they need to be when applying to a school, but it doesn't serve any purpose except to try to make somebody feel good about themselves.

Stay in your lane and do what you have to do to pass. As I said before, if you make a friend or two during the process, it's a bonus. In the end, these friends will not get you your first job. You are in charge of that and you need to graduate in order to do that.

I wish you well and all the best to you! You can do this! Keep focused!

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HandsOffMySteth · Jan 11, 2020

In med school, there is a personality type known as a "gunner". Avoid these people at all costs! They will sabotage others so that they can look better because they think they will somehow get ahead doing this. Unfortunately, these gunners are also in other medical fields such as nursing.

As others have said, the only grades that matter are yours. Pay no attention to anyone else's grades. It sounds like you know how to deal with struggling (tutoring, video resources, etc).

I find that if I approach others as if I know them, they often lighten up toward me. this does not always happen, but if they act snobby in response I will ignore them after that. I have met many new friends with this approach. Sometimes people think you are the snob because you won't talk to them!

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Jan 12, 2020

You aren't in school to make friends. If it happens, fine, but it's not a requirement. You're there to learn and get your degree and preparation for NCLEX. Other peoples' grades are irrelevant to your future. Good luck.

bitter_betsy, BSN · Jan 14, 2020

I honestly do not mean this in an offensive or negative way... is there anyone in your program similar in age to you? As others have said, you aren't there to make friends, but it does help to have someone to bounce ideas off of, deadlines and just for general decompression. Having said that, it has been very difficult for me to find common communication grounds with some of the students in my cohort. If you don't click - move on. Don't worry about it. There is certainly a generation gap in communication developing and no matter how many conversations I have with my daughter about how to effectively communicate with her & her generation - it just does not make sense to me. My own child looked at me when she was home from break and said "thats fantastic momma, lol". Who uses LOL in a verbal sentence?

Do your best. I myself am a loner. I study alone and for the most part am always alone. I have a younger student that looks to me like a mom and I help keep her assignment dates on track. It keeps me on my toes because I never know when she's going to ask me about a deadline. Use the school resources as much as possible and just do your best. Get tons of hugs from your family at the beginning and end of the day.

It IS possible and you CAN do it. I passed Med Surg by answering thousands of questions. Literally - I did 2000 associated with my book and who knows how many in ATI and on my phone app. Questions - constantly. Don't give up!!

Ngav1206, LPN · Jan 17, 2020

Thank you! I appreciate it. I really need to work on myself. I think I give off negative energy and people can sense it. I am going through a difficult time in my marriage and it shows in my grades and at work. I am very private so I don’t tell anyone my issues. I have two close friends and that’s about it. I enjoy seeing a tutor that is my age and also has children. She has been very nice and super supportive. Unfortunately she will be graduating soon. I will do my best but it would be nice to bounce ideas off other people and feel like I fit in. I feel like I’m in high school all over again.

Mergirlc, MSN, APRN, NP · Jan 18, 2020

7 hours ago, Ngav1206 said:
Thank you! I appreciate it. I really need to work on myself. I think I give off negative energy and people can sense it. I am going through a difficult time in my marriage and it shows in my grades and at work. I am very private so I don’t tell anyone my issues. I have two close friends and that’s about it. I enjoy seeing a tutor that is my age and also has children. She has been very nice and super supportive. Unfortunately she will be graduating soon. I will do my best but it would be nice to bounce ideas off other people and feel like I fit in. I feel like I’m in high school all over again.

There's that old saying, "Everybody needs somebody..." And it is true to a certain extent. I think right now you seem to have a full plate. I hope you can find a solution for the personal issues you're going through right now. I'd imagine it's tough to deal with along w/ the stress of school. Try to get in to see a counselor, if need be - a personal counselor. They may not be in school w/you, but it might be good to let off steam when you need to. ?

Kotylynne · Jan 19, 2020

I am typically a loner, I like being by myself and dont typically enjoy being around a lot of people especially girls, I do horrible with large groups of girls.

However when I started / starting my program I forced myself to TRY to be just an little more open and it somehow worked out that I found a handful of people who are just like me. They like to keep to themselves but they enjoy having someone in these classes that we all know are absolutely tough in their own ways, to talk with, talk study tactics with and just all around have an enjoyable time with.

I had my first clinical a week ago and sitting with my group and instructor I had the most overwhelming feeling of belonging. That NEVER Happens for me, I am not a person who belongs anywhere but once I let myself kind of view things differently everything changed for me.

I am sure there are people like you OP, maybe some re takers or just people who arent very cliquey either, but you just have to kind of find them and figure it out for yourself. Nursing school is hard but I think it's a lot easier when you can at least enjoy some of the people you will be in school with.

Good luck to you this semester!

Snatchedwig, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN · Feb 6, 2020

Are you there to make friends? That's your problem, your priorities.

TheDudeWithTheBigDog, ADN, RN · Feb 7, 2020

On 1/10/2020 at 10:06 PM, Ngav1206 said:
Any words of encouragement?

You know from last time you went to school that after graduation, none of these people are going to still talk to each other. Just go in, get your degree, and move on with the people who are actually your friends and actually matter.