No more visitors EVER!

[canoehead]

Well I had a hell of a night in OB, a sullen rude labor patient even after the epidural, and whining about keeping the moniter belts on- yes they HAVE to be there. Her SO pissed and moaned about it taking so long ("when do you think this will be over?") I offered to get him the stuff for a shower and some slippers so her could get more comfortable. So I do all that and he leaves soggy towels on the floor and asks for a pillow- wjich I get- and no thank you or kiss my ass.

So meanwhile she's stopped dilating, ctx are irregular, FHR baseling is up 20 from what it was, no accels, intermittent decels of all types, and variability sometimes not so hot...hmmm. And I'm keeping track of all this, plus her whining, plus the 6-7 people going in and out, and WAKING her, after complainging that she's been up for days. And the OB says "just 2 people in the room" as we've been saying all day. So a couple of them come in and quiz me up about just HOW LONG will this take, as they have been here all day.

Well I say, if we could start pushing now, 1h pushing, and possibly as long as 1h stitching and clean up before the whole clan will be OK to come in. WHY she asks, arguing the pt doesn't care if we see her splayed out to the world (well I do!) And I don't need 6-7 visitors to trip over while I resuscitate this kid, and it's for mom's safety etc. Well sh'e not buying it- "Can't I just peek in???"

All OB nurses know where that road leads, esp with 5 others in the hall just wanting a "quick peek" too. Get the cameras and videotape...

So I explain we just need that time to get everything settled, and then the free for all will be open. (not good enough for her) She goes down the hall and I hear her mimicking me, esp the part where I say she's welcome to spend as much time as she wants now supporting mom. (They want to see the good stuff)

So anyway, mom delivers by Csection, bleeds out and the HCT is 10 points lower than baseline, baby has Apgars of 2,3,5 and 8. And the family follows us like puppys staring in windows, craning their necks past drawn blinds, and FOB jumps in the bed bedside mom's and goes to sleep, without coming in to see babe, or waiting for the transport team. Oh yeah- when I go in to get a consent to transport he requests...a pillow. And there they are, three pillows, right on the chair at the foot of the bed.

And we have NO security, I am the labor, and NICU nurse and my fellow RN is OR gofer, 2nd baby resuscitator and postpartum nurse. Supervisor comes to help but has to cover the house in addition so we have to move fairly fast.

IAM NOT YOUR MAID! I AM ACTUALLY MAKING DECISIONS THAT WILL AFFECT THE LIFE AND HEALTH OF THIS MOM AND BABY!

And if we need less than a posse in the labor room to allow us to think straight for just an hour-jeez is that too much to ask? I am ready to put huge deadbolts on all the labor room doors- once you go out- that's it baby.

Sorry about the rant, and thanks for listening.

Canoe

Not to mention the doc who wants to put in a UV- has never done it before in the 7 years I've worked at this hospital. Arghhh.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

testing to see if I can post...

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

This'll be my third attempt to post and thank all of you for your support. You're all cool in my book.

I won't bother to go into the details again- but suffice it to say that FOB was lucky he didn't get smothered with that pillow. And I don't think it is too much to ask to be able to limit visitors until everyone is resuscitated and the blood have been wiped off the floor. Jeez, they had the run of the room until then.

And I knew all through that the baby wasn't OK. No one noticed though that it was the nurse making decisions about progress of labor, the baby's strip, and calling the doc in when needed. Plus sucking up the abuse of a sullen adolescent mum with a smile. Nope, we are just waitresses that keep track of the numbers for the docs- and we take ourselves so seriously (isn't that cute).

I really HATE visitors right now.

[andrewsgranny, ASN, RN]

It seems as if so many people are so rude these days. They think we are only there to do them a service. And when I say service I dont mean "would you like fries with that. People are ony in tune for "whats in it for me" But when we do take care of the patient that is so gratified it makes our day beautiful. Nursing is somewhat like the labor process... We do it... and forget how rough it was only to do it over and over again:rolleyes:

[mattsmom81]

OK, I've decided I'm way too much of a control freak to do well in OB, I'd fer sure get fired for being rude to demanding families.......my hat's off to you nurses who are responsible for 2 lives...Mom and baby....plus deal with entitled families and inlaws who demand to be part of the birthing plan.

I can't imaging delivering a baby and wanting 10 family members there...once I hit transition I snarled at my whole family to get out....only my hubby stayed with me in the delivery room...and he was tentative...asking if I wanted HIM out too a few times...LOL!

I miss the days of old too...when we could say 'no visitors now'. I resent the hotel atmosphere administration advertises.

Kara, I agree with those who said we often don't have the energy to argue much with these entitled visitors....it's easier to comply sometimes. When they complain and management won't back us, it's a no win situation, so we tend to tread lightly. If you have a supportive manager who is strong and will stand by the nurses when patients and families complain, be grateful....a manager like that is worth her/his weight in gold! :)

Mine tends to cave to patient/family, because of flack she gets from upper level management......(the old shyt rolls downhill theory.)

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

Yep, I'm going back to do it again tonight. (sigh)

Kara- I guess you are right about the maid thing, but it seems just polite to offer the FOB a drink while I'm out getting the mom one. He has been stuck in that room for >12h too. But some people just take that as an offer to cater to the whole f-ing clan. He did make numerous requests that I justsaid no to, but after being quizzed on why not? for 20min, and a code, and wrassling with the eyerolling even when I explained my reasoning politely it was easier to toss the damn pillow at him. He was lucky I didn't smother him with it (I just didn't have the energy to resuscitate the jerk)

[amblessing]

HOLY COW! and to think I even thought I wanted to be an OB nurse after I graduate!

I do remember some outrageous visitor scenarios when I was having my two kids. One poor woman had to endure a bus load of visitors all day and when meal time came around the kind and considerate husband had DOMINOS pizza delivered to the room to feed the hungry guests. One patient's family decided to save their money and bring their own food in and proceed to cook it up on hot plates in the room

[MollyJ]

Speaking as someone who hasn't been in the hospital for 6+ years, I think the visiting thing is way out of control.

I don't think NO family is the way to go, but it amazes me that some people can be so self centered. You know, concerned parents, attentive spouses, even adult children of sick parents. I can cope with that and realize that they may be a little crazed and weirded out by it all.

BUT...what really scalds me are visitors who, plain and simple, are visiting for entertainment value. They are there to be entertained. They think they are living their own private segment of "reality TV"--life in the L&D or ED or ICU. Nurses need to be empowered to eliminate these scabs and they need security back-up to do it.

I think the good old days of (ICU visiting hours) of 15 minutes of visiting 4 times per day was pretty controlling, but sensible nurses changed that when it needed to be, and it allowed patient care to get done and allowed the patient to catch a little rest.

We also have a generation of people who have no social skills: they gawk at other patient rooms; they openly stand and listen to professional conversations that concern them not at all AND they think that nurses are there to serve them. Much of this thinking HAS BEEN aided and abetted by "consumer friendly" administrators. "Chirp! Chirp! ER is PR!"

Somewhere lost is the notion as nurses (and docs) as someone who knows something about the topic at hand and when they say, "Time for visitors to leave!" there USED TO BE a notion that the "nurse knew best". And maybe that was patriarchy/matriarchy. Maybe a little well-placed partriarchy/matriarchy isn't all bad.

Just venting.

[Cascadians]

Every unit should be equipped with a big padded room, padded bench all the way around (big enough to sleep on), a few toilet stalls, a couple sinks and a shower. With a lock on the door. And a security guy available 24/7 to escort visitors to their "comfort room" until they agree to go home :)

[Fgr8Out]

Let's not forget those "well meaning" NON Visitors who phone you at all hours of the day... "I don't want to wake Johnny, but could you...?" Or, "can you tell us how Mrs. Lap Hyst is doing today?.... Oh NO, I don't want to TALK with her... I just want YOU to tell me (a complete stranger to you) everything about her surgery."

Had em yesterday.... Here is what I did on each occasion:

"Yes, I am trying to reach Mrs. Rectocele Repair and she's not answering her phone!!!".... Uhhh, she's sleeping at the moment, having JUST arrived from Recovery about 30 minutes ago. "Well, could you tell her I'm calling?".... Uhhh, SURE.... just as soon as she awakens. "But I'm calling LONG DISTANCE!!!".... Uhhh, How nice, I'm sure she'll be so sorry to hear she missed your call, may I leave your name so she'll know? :: CLICK ::

"I'm calling about Mrs. Bladder Suspension... how is she?" Uhhh, She's doing quite well, in fact, she's awake in her room right now, I'll transfer your call to her room...."OH!! No, don't do that, I just want to know how she's doing...." Well, I believe she'll be the best person to talk about that.... "No, I just want an update... can you tell me....?" No, but I'm sure she'd love to receive a phone call. "No, THANK YOU, just tell her Miss Nosey Beach called." Yes, ma'am, I'll do that.

"I wanted some information about Mr T. URP??" Sure, I'll transfer your call... :: transfers call ::

"I'm calling about Mrs. TVH BSO... can you tell me how she's doing?" Uhhh, and YOU ARE???? "Oh!! I'm her sister in law"...Uhhh, well she's sleeping at the moment, having just returned from Recovery. "But the surgery went ok didn't it?" Uhhh, you'll have to ask her that yourself when the two of you are able to talk. "But, I'm here with her 81 year old Mother, you understand...." Uhhh, yes, I do understand, however I have to maintain patient confidentiality. "Well, can we talk with her then?" Uhhh, not at the moment, as I said... she just arrived from RECOVERY and is still very sleepy from the anesthesia.

"Hi, I'm the sister of Mr Globe Rupture... can you update me on his condition?" Uhhh... He's sleeping. "OH! Well, can you tell me the latest?" Uhhh... He'll be following up with his Eye Dr in the morning. (Next morning)...."So what's the latest?" Uhhh, he's still without vision in his left eye (Patient gave me permission to give this info out)... "So when should I call you back for more information?" (Besides NEVER??)...Uhhh, well he will see the Eye Doctor again in the morning..."Oh, so I should call back later this afternoon?".... Uhhh, no, you should try calling (or better yet, why not just come HERE and sit with the poor man) late morning tomorrow. "TOMORROW?!?!?"... Uhhh yes, tomorrow, we won't know anything more until then, after the doctor has seen him. "you WONT????" Uhhh... no ma'am... I'm a Nurse, not a psychic. By the way, Mr Globe Rupture will need assistance with travel back to his home tomorrow after his eye appointment, as the Dr said he will be discharged. Would you like to be here in the morning to take him home? "Well... I WORK!!!! And besides, I live an hour away!!!" :: shaking my head ::

So much for CARING family members wanting to be there for family....

Peace:)

[nell]

We are expected to give excellent care to our patients and excellent service (Like at Nordstom's) to patients and visitors at all times. The floor nuses are d*mned if they do and d*mned if they don't: Visitors complain they didn't get what they wanted (to wake up the patient) and patients complain the nurses don't "provide them with rest".

This is a script facility "Is there anything else I can do for you? I have the time."

The suits like him have no clue what nursing is about.

This is what people come to the hospital for:

"So meanwhile she's stopped dilating, ctx are irregular, FHR baseling is up 20 from what it was, no accels, intermittent decels of all types, and variability sometimes not so hot...hmmm. "

If service is what it's about, they'd go to a hotel.

[Audreyfay]

Kudos to you who do OB. I worked in OB for 8 years. It's not getting any easier, I can see. One of the things that visitors never seemed to recognize was the infection control aspect. The more people in the room, the more chance that the newborn will get something transmitted to them too early. Course, yes, visitors don't recognize that. It's a "free show." Better than the movies. And something to crow about later. Curious....what kind of malpractice insurance do you carry these days, working in OB?

[deespoohbear]

Visitors! My favorite subject. NOT! I could just scream sometimes. I work Med-Surg in a small county hospital. Everybody knows everybody (or probably related) and they call or visit often. It can get really messy with some of our Amish families who have upwards of 14 or 15 children/siblings who all come to visit at once. I had a pt one time who was given a pretty grim prognosis. This family hovered over this poor pt non-stop. I mean, they were in the pt's face 3 feet, 10 people at a time. The pt would then have major anxiety attacks that would require IV diazepam to control. After 2 days of this nonsense I kicked everyone out and put a sign on the door that said "2 visitors at a time, 15 minutes each." The son called the pt's family doctor and told the doctor that the nurses were taking over on the med-surg floor. (What a neat concept ). I got the funniest call from the doctor's office nurse. I told her I had taken all I was going to take and if the doctor would give me an order to limit the visitors I would be more than happy to write. The doctor thought the company was too overbearing also, and we compromised at 4 visitors at a time. At least I had a doctor who was willing to back me up and say that the visitors were too many and were distressing the patient (not to mention the

nurse

Anymore, I pretty much do what I think is best for my patient and to heck with the visitors. I have a duty to take care of my patients first. If the suits don't like it, tough. Patients don't come to the hospital to entertain, they come because they are ill, need surgery, or they are having a baby. The best thing that could happen to these suits who are making up the rules is let them become a pt and then have the visitors come in non-stop 24/7. After a few of them get to experience the joys of open visitation, maybe things would change. I doubt it though.