Night Shift and Marriage

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Hello all! I am currently in orientation to my first position as an RN and will be working 12- hour night shifts (7p-7a). I am so thankful to belong to such a great team and am so excited to embark on this new journey, though I am still a bit nervous about transitioning into nights and making time for my husband and staying close. I will be working three nights a week and he works days (8-5) and I wanted to know how other newer or seasoned nurses who work opposite schedules of their spouses still keep their marriage healthy. Any positive insights would be greatly appreciated!

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I'm in the exact same boat! Any advice is appreciated!

ps - my husband's parents actually say that them working different shifts and barely seeing each other for a period of time in their marriage actually saved it! just something to think about :)

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

I worked 7pm-7am for years. My husband is a college professor whose schedule varies from semester to semester. My schedule was fixed. I worked Wed., Thurs., and Fri. He taught Wednesday evenings from 6-9, came home, walked the dogs, and went to bed.

Our main problem turned out to be minor and kind of dumb. He is NOT a morning person! Even when I was home, he needed three

alarms set for three different times. They were set where he had to get out of bed to turn them off. Those PLUS my nagging got him out of bed.

Problem solved by afternoon and night classes only. Our relationship blossomed! We did those special little things for each other that we did when we were dating again. I'd come home (a 40 mile drive) and find a wonderful breakfast waiting, the bed turned down, an a chocolate on my pillow.

In nice weather, he'd be outside on the grounds of the psych hospital where I worked with our heart shaped picnic basket. In it would be something like croissants and jam, hot chocolate, and a rose, or warm bakery cinnamon rolls, a thermos of tea, and bacon wrapped in foil.

The nights I worked, I'd leave him something in the crockpot or something he could just stick in the oven.

Somehow it worked.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

I've been a nurse 22 yrs and for 15 of those yrs worked nights while my husband worked days. We are not romantic like sharpie mom.... However we have never had issues,

.

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Specializes in Med-Surg and Ambulatory Care (multispecialty).

My husband and I have been married for almost 15 years (he was my senior prom date) & except for when we first got married, we have always been on opposite schedules. He's always worked days and even travelled 5-6 days a week out of state at one point. Now, as a new nurse, I will be on nights 3x a week and he's still on days. So far it has worked and even made our marriage better somehow.

We never fight (which is good for the kids to see that Mom & Dad get along and love each other) and time spent together is precious. Always try to make time for date night. It really helps :up:

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Specializes in Med-Surg and Ambulatory Care (multispecialty).

Oh, and date night doesn't always have to be night time. We have had many nice breakfast or lunch dates just the two of us, or even a movie snuggled on the couch while the kids are at school.

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The time spent apart makes the time together that much better!

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Specializes in pediatrics; PICU; NICU.

I work 10 pm-7am 4 nights a week. My husband leaves for work 5 minutes after I get home. I sleep all day & get up when he comes home around 4:30. That way we have our evenings together. The ones who really benefit from this arrangement are our 2 cats. They get to sleep with me all day & with my husband all night. They are totally happy kitties!

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I work 10 pm-7am 4 nights a week. My husband leaves for work 5 minutes after I get home. I sleep all day & get up when he comes home around 4:30. That way we have our evenings together. The ones who really benefit from this arrangement are our 2 cats. They get to sleep with me all day & with my husband all night. They are totally happy kitties!

My dogs love this arrangement too :-) My husband and I both work nights but, on my days off I switch to a day shift schedule. It's not too bad when we get to spend evenings together. The thing I hate is we have opposite days off, he works Mon -Fri and I work Sat-Mon so, we don't have days off together. The only time we get a day off together is if he gets called off work on a Friday.

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Thanks for the encouragement everyone:) Ultimately I know I can't worry about what hasn't even happened yet and that I'll need to roll with the punches and adjust accordingly. I definitely hope to do the small things for him to let him know he's loved in my absence.

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Specializes in Pediatric/Adolescent, Med-Surg.

I worked straight nights for several years and my husband loved it cause he had his "me" time when I was working to do his own thing, see friends, etc. I have been on days and it is nice to see him every evening, but getting up early is rough. I am going to start working evenings soon, which will allow me to sleep in and go to work later in the day, without completely messing up my sleep schedule.

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I don't have a great deal of advice to post other than this:

My fiance and I have been making it work from 400, sometimes 600 miles apart on opposite shifts for over a year. Make each other a priority, be willing to sacrifice a bit of sleep for a bit of fun every now and then, and take care of each other. Y'know...just the normal stuff a marriage requires. :D

Good luck!!

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