This is really just a vent session, because I know almost everyone here will know exactly what I mean when I say that I'm more than just a little tired.
This morning I got home around 0800 from my 3rd 12.5-13 hour shift in a row. Then I woke up at 2 in an attempt to go out and be an interesting person. My boyfriend wants us to clean the house, go to 3 different places to get errands done, then go shopping for fun. Lately he's been getting upset that I'm indecisive about what I even feel like doing. Honestly, I don't feel like doing anything other than reading or watching Netflix or sleeping. He has never worked night shift before. Today I said "babe, I literally got home from work this morning--I worked this entire morning. What would you do if you had just worked this entire morning?"
To which he replied "well that wouldn't bother me at all!"
*eye roll*
Oh well. I'll just pout in my booth while I munch on the peanuts at the restaurant I didn't realize we were even going to (because I fell asleep in the car and woke up here). Ha.
It's hard for people to understand. And also, its very common for nurses to just take a nap in the morning so they can do things during the day time. People just assume they can stay up on only 3 hours of sleep. Sometimes it's guilt too. Night shift can be just as demanding as day shift, I can't even count the days where I went without a lunch or breaks at night.
Specializes in Hospice, corrections, psychiatry, rehab, LTC.
It is difficult to explain night shift to people who haven't worked it. You are sleeping while the rest of the world is at peak activity (which comes with its own issues sometimes). I eventually had to switch to days (which I hate, because I don't do early mornings well). Night shift is not very compatible with the lives that most people lead. I will tell you this much - the people who need us are fortunate that we are there in the middle of the night.
I was on night-shift for many years and it had precious few positives. When it was slow I could study when I was in school to become a Nurse Practitioner and have my days "free" (albeit sleep deprived) to do my clinical hours. I could never get enough sleep and like many my personal life began to fall apart. I came to realize that the world including; my wife, my kids, my doctor, bank..... all ran on day-shift. It was me that was different. I remember getting mad because my neighbor was cutting his grass at 10AM. How dare he?!?!? Didn't he know that I just got to sleep and I had to go back to work? Anyway, I came to the conclusion that not only didn't my neighbor know or care he shouldn't as I made the decision to work nights for my own reasons. I have witnessed nights murder relationships, waistlines and sanity. If you can work the same shift as 95% of the rest of the world. There is a reason they do it and nobody is changing for you
I was on night-shift for many years and it had precious few positives. When it was slow I could study when I was in school to become a Nurse Practitioner and have my days "free" (albeit sleep deprived) to do my clinical hours. I could never get enough sleep and like many my personal life began to fall apart. I came to realize that the world including; my wife, my kids, my doctor, bank..... all ran on day-shift. It was me that was different. I remember getting mad because my neighbor was cutting his grass at 10AM. How dare he?!?!? Didn't he know that I just got to sleep and I had to go back to work? Anyway, I came to the conclusion that not only didn't my neighbor know or care he shouldn't as I made the decision to work nights for my own reasons. I have witnessed nights murder relationships, waistlines and sanity. If you can work the same shift as 95% of the rest of the world. There is a reason they do it and nobody is changing for you
Mmm. There is a difference between expecting perfect strangers to alter their lives for the sake of your sleep (for real...ear plugs) and asking your significant other to be considerate of your need for decent rest. In a situation where two people are in a relationship and cohabitating, chances are that they BOTH benefit from the night shift differential, so it would behoove them to respect the night shifter's sleep.
This thread has made me so grateful that my boyfriend has worked evenings and nights and gets it. Now if we could just work on this "at least you only work three days a week" stuff.
Mmm. There is a difference between expecting perfect strangers to alter their lives for the sake of your sleep (for real...ear plugs) and asking your significant other to be considerate of your need for decent rest. In a situation where two people are in a relationship and cohabitating, chances are that they BOTH benefit from the night shift differential, so it would behoove them to respect the night shifter's sleep.
This thread has made me so grateful that my boyfriend has worked evenings and nights and gets it. Now if we could just work on this "at least you only work three days a week" stuff.
I was going to say...I definitely didn't choose night shift. As a new grad, the only openings I could find in my area for acute care were night shift positions. I definitely don't expect strangers to alter their lives.
He has been more understanding lately, thankfully. I was on days for a couple months and then switched to nights. When I was on days, he would have the house cleaned, dinner made, and he'd pamper me. Then on my days off we'd go out and have fun at the beach all day, go to restaurants, friends' houses. So I went from a person who was ready to go all the time to a zombie, and I really think he just missed his "person." He certainly could have been more empathetic, but there have been times throughout the course of our 1.5 year relationship where I haven't been the best partner either. Ya live and learn.
And he is getting the picture now, so we're getting along better :)
Wow. Maybe you need to reconsider this relationship. Seriously. My husband works full time, gets home in time to cook supper, and brings it to me so I can sleep until 6 pm. He does some of the grocery shopping and laundry. See, we're partners and we do what we have to for each other to make life slightly easier and more pleasant.
That's right. Because we ALL know that the patients/residents sleep all night, every night! And the staff?? We do nothing but eat and sleep all shift!!
traumaRUs, MSN, APRN
87 Articles; 21,288 Posts
I worked nights for 15 years. My husband and kids were all on board: "never wake Mom unless the house is on fire or there is a LOT of blood."
It just comes from mutual respect and caring. I think your BF is clueless and thoughtless....and why are you going along with this?