At the LTC facility where I do PRN work a patient died and while she was a DNR her death was rather unexpected. This occurred during the early morning (about 5am) and night shift was still on duty.
When the LPN could not get an answer at the family's home, he left a message on the answering machine that their mother was dead.
Is it just me or is this a major NO-NO!?!?!?!?!?!?
I was kind of appalled when I heard this, apparently others were as well, which is why it is the topic of interest right now.
We actually had something that took me back happen at the time of my FIL's death. He died at home however, in my area they have "meals on wheels" that are delivered to homes of people who need the support of help with cooking or are somewhat homebound. They also will go into the house and leave the meal on the persons table if they arent home, dont answer the door, etc. It is a small rural area where people pretty much know everyone around.. Anyway, the guy that delivered my FIL's meal that day literally stepped over him laying on the floor dead, put his meal on the table, walked back through the room he was in, stepped over him a second time and left,, didnt bother to call anyone or notify the police, nothing.
Luckily the nurse who worked for Visiting Nurses came along about a half hour later and found him,, meal still warm. I was furious, it was my understanding that was part of why they deliver the meals, to check on people and make sure they are ok.
Sad to think there are people out there who have no more compassion for people than the nurse at your facility or the people who "volunteer" to do things like in my FIL's case.
One of my classmates showed up at work at LTC after a few days off, her Grandpa was in the same LTC, and her boss (who had also been gone for a few days) said "I'm so sorry to here about your grandpa passing" well my friend said "No, no, he was doing well....he should have been discharged 2 days ago" and burst out crying, she thought it would be just like her parents not to tell her, and what a surprise, he was almost ready to go home. The boss replied that she was sure he had passed away. My friend got more upset and insisted that they double check (they both work in medical records at the facility)
Well well well, Grandpa really did go home 2 days ago!!!! Boss didnt see him in his room and made a bad ASSUMPTION. To bad she didnt give my friend the day off and she had to work after starting her day so distressed.
We actually had something that took me back happen at the time of my FIL's death. He died at home however, in my area they have "meals on wheels" that are delivered to homes of people who need the support of help with cooking or are somewhat homebound. They also will go into the house and leave the meal on the persons table if they arent home, dont answer the door, etc. It is a small rural area where people pretty much know everyone around.. Anyway, the guy that delivered my FIL's meal that day literally stepped over him laying on the floor dead, put his meal on the table, walked back through the room he was in, stepped over him a second time and left,, didnt bother to call anyone or notify the police, nothing.
Luckily the nurse who worked for Visiting Nurses came along about a half hour later and found him,, meal still warm. I was furious, it was my understanding that was part of why they deliver the meals, to check on people and make sure they are ok.
Sad to think there are people out there who have no more compassion for people than the nurse at your facility or the people who "volunteer" to do things like in my FIL's case.
I know of a case where a young man was hospitalized for a routine surgery. His mother called the hospital to find out how he was doing and the nurse said over the phone, "We're sorry but there were complications after surgery and your son is dead."
I know of a case where a young man was hospitalized for a routine surgery. His mother called the hospital to find out how he was doing and the nurse said over the phone, "We're sorry but there were complications after surgery and your son is dead."
omg for real??????????????????????? :eek: :eek:
how long was it before the mother found out the truth?
How totally unprofessional and heartless! Such news should NEVER be conveyed via an answering machine! I know first-hand how devastating that is! My husband's sister left such a message about their mom's death on our message machine back in 1992. My husband STILL talks about what a rotten way that was to learn the news!
Unfortunately, this sounds exactly like something my parents would do to me. My mom is just really tactless about giving that type of news. One time I was talking with my aunt on the phone. My mom was in the room, and she said 'Oh, ask Aunt Mary is she knows so-and-so'. So I did, and Aunt Mary did know so and so, and she asked why mom was asking. So I asked my mom why, and she says 'Oh, she died'. And then I had to tell my Aunt that over the phone, and she was very upset, and I was very PO'ed at my mom.
Hmm. Well, a month or so ago, a man died on my floor, on a night I was off work. The previous nights I'd talked to his only relative, a granddaughter. I'd met her, she came in to see him. She knew he was going to pass on soon and had spoken with his doctor, and numerous nurses checking in on him. The nurse who took care of him the night he died spoke with her early on in the shift and made sure that she wanted to be called if he died during the night. So when it happened, she called and was surprised to get an answering machine. She left a message. I think she had been under the impression the lady would actually answer the phone since she had done so every other time we called her, and her job was a daytime thing, so she wouldn't have been at work.
Anyhow, from the nurse's standpoint, she thought the family member was rude to not answer the phone, but this was aggravated by the limited amount of face to face visiting the woman actually did. And I don't know what the exact message was that she left, because I wasn't there.
how long was it before the mother found out the truth?
I read about it in an article written by the father. They of course went straight down to the hospital and found out the bitter truth. His wife was also pregnant at the time and they found her at her midwife's office to deliver the news.
We actually had something that took me back happen at the time of my FIL's death. He died at home however, in my area they have "meals on wheels" that are delivered to homes of people who need the support of help with cooking or are somewhat homebound. They also will go into the house and leave the meal on the persons table if they arent home, dont answer the door, etc. It is a small rural area where people pretty much know everyone around.. Anyway, the guy that delivered my FIL's meal that day literally stepped over him laying on the floor dead, put his meal on the table, walked back through the room he was in, stepped over him a second time and left,, didnt bother to call anyone or notify the police, nothing.
Luckily the nurse who worked for Visiting Nurses came along about a half hour later and found him,, meal still warm. I was furious, it was my understanding that was part of why they deliver the meals, to check on people and make sure they are ok.
Sad to think there are people out there who have no more compassion for people than the nurse at your facility or the people who "volunteer" to do things like in my FIL's case.
What?!?! You don't need a license to pick up the phone and dial 911. Did you say anything to the Meals on Wheels director?
How many HIPPA training sessions do you have to go through to know this is absolutely wrong, let alone rude. Someone should call that nurse and say hey, by the way, your mom's dead....see how they like it. What if they mis-dialed?
Although very cold, heartless, inappropriate, etc, it may not be a HIPAA violation. A lot of the facilities in the area have a place to check how you want information relayed to your or or loved ones and one of the options is a "detailed answering machine message." It also warns that there is the chance of wrong number, there is the chance that information can be disclosed to someone it is not intended for (like kids, the cleaning lady, friends who are there when you play your messages).
I would never be stupid enough to leave such a message on an answering machine, but I do understand the frustration of not being able to get ahold of someone's loved one after they die. I once worked with a man who's only son turned his phone off at night...and didn't turn it on again until he was home from work in the evening. When his father died (very unexpectedly) in the middle of the night, I had to get the police to go wake him up...and he was such a sound sleeper that they had to literally bang on his bedroom window to get him out of bed.
I'm not excusing what this nurse did in any way at all, but there should be a written "Plan B" in place...if I were new to an area and didn't know that police would help out with things like this or only had a P.O. box for the family member or whatever, I wouldn't have known what else to do. (But...I would have had the common sense to call management or someone before doing something so stupid).
:eek:
meownsmile, BSN, RN
2,532 Posts
Yep, i agree, absolutely no excuse.
We actually had something that took me back happen at the time of my FIL's death. He died at home however, in my area they have "meals on wheels" that are delivered to homes of people who need the support of help with cooking or are somewhat homebound. They also will go into the house and leave the meal on the persons table if they arent home, dont answer the door, etc. It is a small rural area where people pretty much know everyone around.. Anyway, the guy that delivered my FIL's meal that day literally stepped over him laying on the floor dead, put his meal on the table, walked back through the room he was in, stepped over him a second time and left,, didnt bother to call anyone or notify the police, nothing.
Luckily the nurse who worked for Visiting Nurses came along about a half hour later and found him,, meal still warm. I was furious, it was my understanding that was part of why they deliver the meals, to check on people and make sure they are ok.
Sad to think there are people out there who have no more compassion for people than the nurse at your facility or the people who "volunteer" to do things like in my FIL's case.